What I just did now was to express what I wanted to tell you using body language instead of words. Do you think it is powerful?
Words have power,
Action has much more power,
Words account for 5% the effective communication; the rest depends on the nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication here includes body language, eye contacts. How can we make the best out of the use of both verbal and nonverbal communication? I have a formula for you to do so, the name is ISO. Make your speech ISO to achieve the effectiveness of communication.
Let’s start with the first one – S – Smile.
Smile is the shortest distance between two people, physically and mentally. I remember when I was at my first year university, I often sat on the first rows and sometimes turned back to see the class. I always saw a boy smiling at me whenever I turned back to see the class. There might be other boys but I noticed him the most because of his teeth – so white and bright. First time, second time and third time I felt so curious that I asked him ‘Why do you smile at me all the time, and your teeth is really white anyway’. Can you guess what did he answer?
I felt in love with his smile and somehow with him later on. Smile is powerful. It expresses our openness. Smiling is non-verbal communication and often it speaks louder than any word you can say. A smile says, “I like you. I am interested in you.”
If you say you are not a smiley person but you want to be. Then just smile. It is a practice. Sometimes we need to smile from outside then we can smile from inside. And if we can smile from inside, our face and body also smile and it creates a vibe that others can feel.
However, is it good if we smile all the time? Thinking about the case ‘I broke up with the boy, he got married with his long-term friend in his childhood even we loved each other?’ In this context, maybe smiling is not really appropriate. Or thinking about my speech last time, Therefore, need to organise our smile, we need to organise both verbal and nonverbal communication so we can communicate effectively.
The next point is to make your speech O – Organisation
Organising words following a structure, organise nonverbal communication in the right context. Organisation helps audiences follow us easier. For this one we can use the power of number 3
- structure: 3 parts introduction, body, conclusion
For each point in the body, tell the idea, example and analyse
Tell people what you say, say it, and summary what you say
- eyes contact: look at each person less than 3s to avoid staring at them; looking at three parts of the rooms ‘right, middle, left’
- using stages: 3 areas ‘right, middle, left’
Now we smile to create a friendly impression with the audience, we organise our speech, we want to master the most important key ‘I’ – Intention
I think smile and excitement for speaking helps me a lot during my speaking journey. I always feel excited anytime I have a chance to speak in front of others. Sometimes I felt so thrilled after speaking on stage, my mentor came to me and said ‘what is your purpose to speak?’ yes, everything seemed to be great but he didn’t know what is the one sentence to describe the purpose of my speech.
He told me ‘ask yourself over and over again until you get that one sentence’. Think about it, before you enter a conversation or give a speech, what do you normally think?
-> how to not be nervous?
That’s why you tend to be more nervous, anytime the word comes to your mind, it appears as a signal to tell you that you are nervous. Our brain doesn’t know the ‘not’ only know the word ‘nervous’
-> your intention before entering a conversation should start with a question ‘what is the one message that I want to convey?’ ‘what is the feeling I want people to feel?’ ‘what is the feeling I want myself to feel?’
>>>>>>>>>>>>>it is when you choose to focus on the effectiveness of your speech for the benefits of the audiences
And obviously, set your intention to smile from your heart…
Before you get on stage, touch your head, heart > with an intention to serve > smile and organise your speech to let people follow – you just make your speech ISO (not standards of anyone but standards of your heart and head)