#howfarwevecome #wherewearenow #howfarwecango
Coachee: I often feel like as though I’m lacking, even when I achieve some of the goals I've set myself.
Jen: How often does that feeling happen?
Coachee: Yes, when I set a goal, I thought that when I achieved it, I would feel more confident because I have done it, but every time I reach the goal, I feel small, and I find myself moving on. I need to brace myself for another goal.
Jen: You feel small compared to what?
Coachee: I feel small compared to the new goal, because the new goal is bigger than the previous one, I feel smaller.
Jen: I set a goal – it's called goal B, and I'm at point A right now, and when I take X steps, I see goal B grow to B + X?
Coachee: That's right.
Jen: And you, have you grown up? because you took 'X' steps?
Coachee: Hix…I don't usually look at it that way, wow.
Jen: You have a goal B, I'm at point A now, you have gone X steps, you see the new goal is B + X, and you are still at A? does not move from the starting point…
Coachee: Yes, I did teleport, I was actually at A + X, but I don't usually let myself think like that...
Jen: If your current way of thinking not helping you, …is there a new way of thinking that will help you to continue to reach your bigger goals, with a greater sense of confidence?
Coachee: I think, I will see myself at A + X, and see this as a journey, rather than only a destination, every step – I am walking on my mission…
Do you take the time to reflect on the steps you've taken? Let it seep into your heart, your being – so that there is a foundation for the next step?
Success is a practice
Learning what is under the iceberg of the success of Miss Fashion World Kim Sỹ - her consistent practices:
* Let self-doubts guide your bold action
* Doing what you are passionate about, and being passionate about what you choose to do
* Finding the right mentor and practicing to be one
* Perseverance and patience to stand up when you fail
* Constantly learning and expanding your knowledge
* Dedicating and paying it forward to people and the community
What are your daily practices to create success in your term?
I see something in you
Do you see something possible in others, even as a stranger?
A stranger (named Leslie) saw something in a 19-year-old coloured girl - Deshauna Baber- soon to be a military officer, and told Deshauna that she would be the next Miss USA…
‘Were you born in this country?’ asked Leslie who saw Deshauna in the supermarket where she worked at that time.
Feeling a bit offended, as a coloured girl, Deshauna put her hands on her hips and said,
“Yeah, I was born in this country”.
Leslie continued, “Hold old you are?”
Deshauna: “I am 19 years old”.
“Are you married?”
Deshauna: “No ma’am”.
“Do you have kids?”
Deshauna said, “No ma’am. Can I help you to find something?"
Leslie continued, “You look like you could be the next Miss USA”.
Deshauna laughed so hard at what Leslie said as it sounded impossible.
However, Leslie convinced Deshauna to meet her at the local Starbucks the very next day. Leslie convinced Deshauna to compete in the stage pageant.
The first pageant, she lost in the competition.
The second year, she lost.
The third year, she lost.
The fourth year, she lost.
The fifth year, she lost.
And guess what, the sixth year, she lost again.
Deshauna called Leslie – the stranger said Deshauna would be the next Miss USA but it did not happen until after 6 years. Leslie told Deshauna not to give up.
Leslie passed away in 2015. Deshauna didn't give up, she wanted to realize Leslie's belief in her.
In Dec 2016, the 7th time Deshauna competed, she won.
Deshauna became the first member of the military to win the Miss USA title. She also represented the US at Miss Universe 2016 in Manila where she was placed in the top nine.
Leslie saw the potential in Deshauna at an early age. It took 7 years to bring it to fruition…
The goal is not the goal, but the giant person within us, that we can bring out. That is what makes us achieve the goal…
We can practice seeing something in others even they are strangers.
DECISION
DECISION #your #supersundaynotes
Which of your decisions made you experience life on a new level?
#meet #mrLoc #founder of #apicoo
“Hi Jen, after thinking about the last Tet holiday, I decided to take on the role of an 'entrepreneur' this year”.
That is the response of Mr. Loc - founder of Apicoo (with a mission to help people reduce repetitive tasks, to focus on tasks that require more intelligence) - a project which was part of the program: Lab2market 2022-2023, that Jen is in charge of. (Apicoo makes grippers for use with cobots - collaborative robots).
Mr. Loc - one of the founders Jen respects - a brother, a research enthusiast, a fellow student from the Polytechnic School.
Before the Lunar New Year, Jen asked Mr. Loc, 'With a new goal, when joining Lab2market, to be able to bring a new smart robotic gripping tool developed in the lab into real life, what will change in you?'
'I don't know…', Mr. Loc said.
Jen told Mr. Loc that the two brothers were thinking about this – making the decision to change something, not done before, to get results that weren't there before.
After Tet, when we met, Mr. Loc told me that he had been thinking about the 'things he hadn't done before’ and had decided to commit himself to entrepreneurship in this early stage to commercialize the smart robotic gripper.
And Mr. Loc continued to engage in this project in recent months, following his decision. Mr. Loc joined the meeting with investors and listened to feedback; He also participates in meeting trade partners, listening to feedback. Mr. Loc went to the factory to meet his partner…even though he wanted to just continue researching new product lines in his lab…
Recently, he was invited by a developer of cobots to join the research team looking into new lines of robots. He also brought in more angel investors to become his business development partners… He also had more young associates, helping him to start pushing sales on LinkedIn, email marketing… He still didn't feel real. He loves those things, but because it's important and necessary, for him to continue to nurture his passion, and because he's decided to commit himself to the task – he did it.
Mr. Loc and Jen both feel that a new journey has just begun, and if they keep going, everything will have its answer…when they have a new decision.
The decision to switch roles and prioritize the entrepreneurial role – to commit himself to bringing products to market – led him to continue to do things he had not done before, to achieve goals he did not have previously.
What decision did you make last week that has helped you continue to take your life experience to new levels?
When we make decisions, our own, we open the door to new actions. Those decisions serve as a guide for us to contrast direction and action.
Make decisions, from everyday choices – who to meet, what to do, … to bigger decisions – what role to play, what job to do.
Whatever you decide, Jen believes you'll do well, if it's your decision – you feel it’s right and you own it.
PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY?
#meet #Daniel #storyteller of #storyteller
PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY?
I met Daniel at an innovation meeting in Zurich. Daniel and I had a conversation about 'storytelling'.
Jen: What do you spend most of your time doing?
Daniel: Selling stories.
Jen: What stories do you sell?
Daniel: I sell stories about what happens when people work with us.
Jen: How do you usually start selling stories?
Daniel: My question is, 'Are you in the 92%?' - are you getting caught up in everyday things, and forgetting about the big picture...
Jen: What is required for an effective story?
Daniel: Is it really believing what you say, or saying what you really believe...
Jen: Are there any examples of storytellers who have applied this principle, and it worked… for example Martin Luther King?
Daniel: Yes, he effectively told his dream story, but you know what - the part that everyone remembers about him telling the story - was not in his initial preparation, but at the moment. He started by reading the prepared script, and he could feel the audience getting tired. He started improvising – and said from his heart, ‘I have a dream…’
Jen: Do you see anyone else reading – not improvising, but still inspiring people? For example - Barack Obama…
Daniel: Barack Obama has a compelling structure behind it, he believes it – why me, why us, why now. He truly believes in what he says and he lives up to it...
PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY!
A great week for us, with chances to share what is from our hearts!
‘GET PEOPLE WHO CHALLENGE YOU BUT but having shared vision’!
‘GET PEOPLE WHO CHALLENGE YOU BUT but having shared vision’!
On our second day of #womenentrepreneurweek, we met representatives of SAP in Zurich and their founders.
(SAP was started by 5 tech founders; and has been developing for 50 years).
Sharing from our inspiring @ Sabrina Storck Chief Operating Officer of Switzerland SAP, Alexander Finger, Christian, Ana-Maria, Viktoria
1. ‘Invite people who challenge you into your team. You don’t want 5 people with your versions, you want 5 people who are great as the ways they are, believe in the same vision, and challenge each other to move toward the vision’.
We could feel that spirit from the team of SAP, including Sabrina, Alexander, Christian, Ana-Maria, Viktoria – they are all different, but sharing the same spirit of driving innovation.
2. Think big, start small
SAP embraces entrepreneurs within its remit. We had a chance to listen to one of the incubated startups – one of the 5 chosen startups to be incubated internally in SAP last year, among 300 startups.
No matter how big or small you are, as long as you believe you believe in what you do, you go for it, either reaching small or big partners, you have at least a 50% chance of success when you do.
3. Partnership
SAP embraces partnerships from all over the world to be their second arms in their local ecosystems.
CURIOSITY & MASTERPIECE
‘Do you think as we get older, we get wiser but are less valuable to others?’
The above question was asked by Mark – a friend (his age is around 50) whom I met at the UK Embassy meeting last week.
(To those who are reading this, do you think the same?)
I smiled and made a joke, ‘Someone told you this?’ (Mark laughed and said ‘No’.)
Then I asked, ‘What are your thoughts on it?’
He asked me again, ‘I like to hear what your thought on it is’.
I said, ‘There is a thought related to it: when you get older, you may have more experiences but maybe less energy. But I know people who create more energy even when they are older…they position themselves to create energy and have more to share with other people no matter what their age is.’
Mark continued my thoughts, ‘Is it less energy because you become less curious about life? I thought that, if someone thinks they are wise and stops being curious, it is not going to be very good. I used to feel the same when I stopped learning…
But I am thankful because I can go to different countries, so I always feel I have to re-learn everything…I still feel that energy everyday’.
I asked, ‘It is an interesting way to see it, to continue being curious to create energy. How to maintain curiosity even when meeting the same people, in the same place?’
Mark said, ‘Wow, you don’t even have to go to a new place, you can be curious about the different ways you look at your work, with people you work with…, isn’t that true?’, he said.
We can choose to be curious to learn and be more valuable to others. It is a choice.
What do you do to keep that energy of being curious?
- Going to a new place? Meeting a new person?
- Asking a new question?
- Seeing things in a new perspective?
This weekend, we organized a leadership team development program for a startup team including senior leaders, investors, Masterchef and Masterchef King of Vietnam and young key executing members.
At the end of the first session, on the first day, a young friend, in the team, 20 years of age told us, ‘I don’t know where I am now in the team when working with these Masterchef people…I don’t know what my role is…’
We all thanked the young friend for sharing his thoughts and told him to keep experiencing the next activities to have his own answers.
At the end of the program, on the next day, after doing all activities with other Masters as a team, at the final reflection activity, we asked whether he found his own answer.
He said, ‘I see many things that need to be done now. I can see myself taking the role of one of the Masters, I just don’t put the timeline on it. I know each of us has our role in life, we need to master it, and respect our own pace’.
Each of us are Masters of our own lives, and the parts of those lives create a Masterpiece when we are together.
When we are curious to learn despite where we are in our lives, we can master our small part to create a masterpiece together.
A great week for us <3
YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES
In the past few weeks, I've enjoyed welcoming more friends to visit my family. Over the years, my family has felt more passionate about my career by meeting friends who understand my passion. In the Hanoi Entrepreneurs Community last week, we also had a member who brought his family to a meeting so that the family could understand what they want in life.
Maybe you also have a dream to pursue or a goal to achieve, and your family doesn't fully understand your desire yet. Your family is important to you, so there are times when you feel the struggle between your passions and the wishes of your family. Sometimes you may feel sad or feel as though your family doesn't understand you. Your family may feel the same way.
Even though your family may not fully understand what your dream is, you know that your family wants you to be happy and successful and you want that too. Somewhere, you realize that you and your family share the same desire; It's just that there are different views on how to achieve that success and happiness. You want your family to feel more clearly about your desires and passions, so that both you and your family will feel more understood and resonant with each other.
The following three ideas can help accompany us on our journey to realizing our life's passionate dream or mission.
(1) The first idea is to realize that your family and you want the same thing, that is your success and happiness. It’s important to acknowledge their care and love for you. And you can see that your family has been through a life context which makes them see how to achieve success and happiness – not necessarily in a way than you would like.
(2) The second idea is to create an environment where there is an opportunity to invite your family to feel what you feel, for example to invite your family to your place of work or an event or meet your co-workers or maybe invite co-workers. It's important to invite colleagues who understand your passion and what you believe in, and who believe in you and your potential.
(3) The third idea is to act every day with gratitude towards your family who have given you life and love; and thank them for giving you the opportunity to define your passion. And from there, every day, take action, move towards your passion – to bring results into reality.
YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES
'We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein." (We then need to raise to the next level of thinking...then action, habits and people we meet...)
This weekend our team, including people from different generations and coaches, had the opportunity to work with a successful entrepreneur (he started doing business when he was in grade 7, and he has the highest level of financial freedom now) to help him determine his next level of development.
(And you, who are reading this - what is your next level of development?)
We invite you to join the entrepreneur and reflect on your next level of growth through the following 'coaching' conversation:
Coach: How do you see yourself in 5 years?
Coachee: I see myself as an inspirational person who empowers others to broaden the vision for themselves.
Coach: What makes that important to you?
Coachee: I don't need to work anymore…I'm financially free, I could retire now, but I feel that I need to do something more. I still feel that I want to do something bigger than just make more money. I want to help more people - on a larger scale just not in my province, who are like me when I was much younger, to create a better life for themselves…and create a new standard for this field…
Coach: What makes it so important to do it this way…can it be done another way (or through this industry)?
Coachee: Because it's my industry…It's what I do every day…I want to keep doing something related to it…but making an impact on another level.
Coach: What does that impact look like specifically?
Coachee: I will get people to broaden their horizons and think bigger for themselves; I will set a good example of producing results, I will make them believe in themselves.
Coach: Where are you on that journey on a scale of 0 to 10?
Coach: 6
Coach: What made you a '6' and what would your mindset and skill set look like if you were at '10'?
Coachee: I have to become a leader who creates other leaders, I have to acquire communication skills, system thinking level in a bigger scale…
Coach: What else?
Coachee: And the people I may meet...
----
The next day, to create the environment for him to think from a new level of thinking – a leader makes other leaders: we let him experience an activity in which he would lead 3 people (who are strangers - not his team in reality) and he needs to invite them to join his mission - like the 'generals' in his team.
He walked in to chat with them and immediately he talked about all the tasks that he would assign to each person: person 1 will have 3 tasks, person 2 will have 3 other tasks, …Then he asked 3 people to share what they needed to complete the task.
After that activity, we asked 3 people – how did they feel about the experience from the above activity. They feel that based on their short experience in the past activity, if they work with him, they will work because he can help them secure a living, more than working as ‘generals’ – working on developing themselves to create better results
…
When he looked back at his performance in this activity – he felt he acted at the level of telling people what to do rather than creating an environment to find out each person's 'potential'…He not yet positioned himself from the level of a ‘leader’ who creates other leaders…
At the end of the workshop, his new thinking and positioning is not about delegating tasks to people but empowering thoughts from others…starting from listening and asking questions to understand others…
Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'
Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'
Hope your Sunday goes well
What are your keywords for last week? Mine are 'intrinsic motivation'.
Last week I talked to Tim about what he wants in life. He shared about wanting to increase his company's revenue.
'Jen: What is your goal this year?
Tim: Increase company revenue 3 times?
Jen: Does that goal make you feel challenged and excited enough?
Tim: Yes, it's challenging, but also exciting
Jen: That goal achieved, what does it mean to you?
Tim: I will be seen as a real businessman.
Jen: A real businessman, how would you describe it from your perspective?
Tim: I help my team have a better life, 3 times better than now.
Jen: What's else?
Tim: I raise myself to a new standard of capability, mindset, and skills...
Jen: Tim's version – in the next standard to achieve 3 times the goal of Tim's current friend? What will it look like?
Tim: …(thinking) I got this!'
And you? What goals do you have this year? In life or in business?
What does your version of that goal look like?
If you have an external starting point to achieve that goal, you need to look back to see what internal factors make you want to achieve the goal – like Tim in the example above.
When you connect with your inner motivation, you will always appreciate the journey, and what you learn, instead of being compared and looked at outside – things you have no control over.
According to Ryan and Deci (2000), Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separable consequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun or challenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures, or rewards.
Extrinsic motivation is a construct that pertains whenever an activity is done in order to attain some separable outcome. Extrinsic motivation thus contrasts with intrinsic motivation, which refers to doing an activity simply for the enjoyment of the activity itself, rather than its instrumental value (Ryan and Deci, 2000 ).
A great week for all of us where we connect with intrinsic motivation in what we do!
YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES
Last week was the week of restarting after the Lunar New Year in Vietnam for me, maybe it was the same for you? What has been your keyword to reflect on during the past week? I chose the keyword, 'LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN', as we come back to something, it is useful to refresh our love for it. This keyword is also related to a book Jay Shetty released last week, '8 Rules of Love'. In addition to the context of love between people, these rules can suggest ways for us to have lasting love for the work we do and will do.
By reflecting on Jay's book, I hope we can revisit our own 'book' - the deeper part of ourselves!
The eight love rules Jay shares include:
Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone.
Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma.
Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it.
Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru.
Rule 5: Purpose Comes First.
Rule 6: Win or Lose Together.
Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup.
Rule 8: Love again and again.
Which rule resonates with you the most? This time, I feel triggered by rule number 8: Love again and again.
In the bigger context of a loving relationship, I recall the story of my friend Aaron - his parents have lived together for nearly 50 years, and it still feels like the first days of their love. One of the secrets of their long-lasting happy relationship is, 'To always live each day as an opportunity to make the partner see life will be better when having you around him or her - every day is a day to love like the first day you fell in love with each other'.
An example in Jay's book can also help us relate to this point: when you first meet your lover if you need to do something for them - for example, wait for them for hours, maybe you don't feel that bad, but later when you both get closer – you will feel very uncomfortable when waiting.
At work, we can also apply this principle – if you wake up every day, you set a purpose and action to make your work better because of your presence – you will be excited and add better value to that work. You love the work as if it was the first days doing it. You do it every day so that you can experience the deeper levels of that work.
This coming week, we can reflect to see how to love what we do again:
- One thing I can do to make me feel and act like I'm falling in love with someone for the first time. Enthusiasm, energy, dedication…
- One thing I can do to show my love to the person I love to the fullest. With my parents. With my siblings. With my colleagues...
What principles do you have to keep the fire of your love alive? Here are some ways to nurture the fire of love at work:
- Identify the mission of that job, and see how it aligns with your mission and core values.
- Identify a big enough reason to do the job: mission alignment, core values alignment, and other factors relevant to your priorities at the moment (development of mindset, capacity? relationship? finance? environment?)
- Decide how long to do something, and give it your ‘all’ during that time.
- Regularly review your development: what have you improved?
- Regularly share your vision, mission, and concerns with colleagues who trust your abilities.
- Don't hesitate to ask for help from others.
- Help others on the team.
- Co-create experiences with the team and work-related partners.
-There's a 'buddy' person at work.
- List the things you are grateful for each day.
- Regularly reconnect why you started and what you are grateful for every day.
A loving productive week for all of us!
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CHIÊM NGHIỆM CHỦ NHẬT CỦA BẠN
Tuần vừa rồi là tuần khởi động trở lại sau dịp Tết âm ở Việt Nam đối với mình, với bạn cũng vậy? Từ khóa của bạn là gì để chiêm nghiêm lại tuần qua và lên kế hoạch cho tuần tới? Để chiêm nghiệm lại cả tuần qua, mình chọn từ khóa ‘LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN – YÊU ĐI YÊU LẠI’. Khi chúng ta mới quay trở lại làm một việc gì đó, 'làm mới' và tiếp tục yêu việc đó. Từ khóa này có liên quan đến một cuốn sách Jay Shetty vừa cho ra tuần qua ‘8 quy tắc của tình yêu’. Ngoài bối cảnh tình yêu giữa con người, những quy tắc này có thể gợi mở cho chúng ta cách để phát triển tình yêu bền vững với những công việc chúng ta đang và sẽ làm.
Qua việc cùng chiêm nghiệm sách của Jay, bạn và mình có thể chiêm nghiệm về cuốn sách quan trọng trong mỗi chúng ta - chính bản thân chúng ta - để chúng ta có thể hiểu hơn về chính mình, mỗi ngày!
Tám quy tắc tình yêu mà Jay chia sẻ bao gồm:
Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone (Có thời gian dành riêng cho bản thân)
Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma (Không bỏ qua quy tắc luân hồi)
Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it (Định nghĩa tình yêu trước khi nghĩ về nó, cảm nhận nó và nói ra nó)
Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru (Để cho đối tác của bạn là người thầy ‘Guru’ của bạn)
Rule 5: Purpose Comes First (Mục đích là trên hết)
Rule 6: Win or Lose Together (Thắng hay thua đều cùng nhau)
Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup (Không suy sụp khi chia tay)
Rule 8: Love again and again (Yêu đi yêu lại)
NGUYÊN TẮC NÀO CHẠM ĐẾN BẠN NHẤT?
Trong tuần này, nguyên tắc số 8 khiến mình tâm đắc: yêu đi, yêu lại.
Trong bối cảnh mối quan hệ tình yêu, nguyên tắc này gợi cho mình chuyện của người bạn Aaron – bố mẹ bạn sống với nhau gần 50 năm cuộc đời và có cảm giác vẫn như những ngày đầu mới yêu nhau. Một trong những bí quyết bố mẹ Aaron chia sẻ đó là luôn luôn sống mỗi ngày như là một cơ hội để khiến đối phương thấy cuộc sống sẽ tốt đẹp hơn khi có mình bên cạnh họ - mỗi ngày là một ngày để yêu như những ngày đầu.
Một ví dụ mà Jay cũng đưa ra trong cuốn sách giúp chúng ta liên hệ đến ý này: khi bạn mới gặp người yêu những ngày đầu, nếu bạn cần phải làm gì cho họ - ví dụ đợi họ hàng giờ, có thể bạn cảm thấy không quá khó chịu, nhưng nếu sau này khi đã thân nhau – bạn sẽ cảm thấy khó chịu hơn.
Trong công việc, chúng ta cũng có thể áp dụng nguyên tắc này – nếu mỗi ngày bạn thức dậy, bạn đặt chủ đích và hành động để công việc đó được tốt đẹp hơn vì sự có mặt của bạn – bạn sẽ có sự hào hứng và tạo giá trị cho công việc đó. Bạn yêu công việc đó như tình yêu ban đầu, mỗi ngày, để bạn có thể trải nghiệm được những mức sâu hơn của công việc đó.
Tuần tới, để có một tuần ‘đã’, bạn có thể cùng mình chiêm nghiệm lại:
- Một điều tôi có thể làm để tôi có tâm thế và hành xử như lần đầu yêu một người nào đó? Nhiệt huyết, năng lượng, hết mình…
- Một điều tôi có thể làm để thể hiện tình yêu hết mình như những ngày đầu với người tôi yêu? Với bố mẹ tôi? Với anh chị tôi? Với đồng nghiệp tôi?...
Bạn có nguyên tắc gì để giữ lửa tình yêu của bạn? trong mối quan hệ hay trong công việc? Một số cách để nuôi dưỡng lửa tình yêu với công việc:
- Xác định sứ mệnh của công việc đó, và xem sự gắn kết với sứ mệnh và giá trị cốt lõi của bản thân
- Xác định lý do đủ lớn để làm công việc: sự gắn kết sứ mệnh, giá trị cốt lõi, các yếu tố khác liên quan đến sự ưu tiên của bạn tại thời điểm hiện tại (sự phát triển tư duy kỹ năng? Mối quan hệ? tài chính? Môi trường?...)
- Ra quyết định về khoảng thời gian sẽ làm một việc nào đó, và hết mình
- Thường xuyên nhìn lại sự phát triển của bản thân: bạn đã cải tiến điều gì?
- Thường xuyên chia sẻ tầm nhìn, sứ mệnh, và trăn trở với đồng nghiệp – những người tin cậy năng lực của bạn
- Không ngần ngại trong việc nhờ sự hỗ trợ của người khác
- Giúp đỡ người khác trong đội nhóm
- Cùng kiến tạo trải nghiệm với đội nhóm, các đối tác liên quan đến công việc
- Có một người ‘buddy’ trong công việc
- Liệt kê những điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày
- Thường xuyên kết nối lại lý do bạn bắt đầu và điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày
Chúc chúng ta có một tuần với tình yêu, năng lượng và hiệu quả công việc!
#everyoneneedsacoach #jencoaching #happyhighperformancehabits
Identity 'I am...'
IDENTITY
‘Identity’ là cách bạn nhìn nhận bản thân, dựa trên sự kết hợp giữa giá trị cốt lõi, niềm tin, năng lực, kỹ năng, nhận thức, thói quen…Chính vì vậy ‘Identity’ có thể là cánh cửa giúp bạn bước sang một sự phát triển mới hoặc cản trở bạn phát triển – tùy theo cách bạn sử dụng nó.
Thường ‘identity’ đi đằng sau từ ‘I am…’ Khi bạn đã cho mình là như vậy, bạn sẽ tìm mọi cách để thúc đẩy hành vi, thói quen của bạn để hiện thực hóa ‘identity’ đó.
Khi bạn cảm thấy mình đã thay đổi thói quen, mình đã phát triển kỹ năng, mà cứ có điều gì đó ‘lăn tăn’ trong bạn – bạn vẫn quay lại cách làm cũ sau một thời gian, đó có thể là vì bạn chưa thay đổi từ mức độ của ‘identity’.
Tôi nhớ về trải nghiệm nói trước đám đông của mình, khi tôi thay đổi về ‘identity’ tôi bắt đầu giao tiếp hiệu quả tự tin chân thành với mọi người.Gần 20 năm tôi ít nói vì mỗi khi tôi nói, mọi người thường có thể nói là ‘tôi dở hơi, không thể làm…’. Trong đáy sâu, tôi vẫn khát khao được nói để kết nối. Tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh là tôi có thể nói chuyện và kết nối với mọi người khi tôi ở một môi trường phù hợp, và tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh tôi có thể là một người chia sẻ tự tin ‘I am a confident person’.
Sau khi đi học đại học, tôi đã đưa mình vào những môi trường để được chia sẻ và nói, bằng tiếng Anh. Sau đó, tôi miệt mài đi đến những cộng đồng nói trước đám đông, làm bài nói hàng tuần. Nhìn từ phía bên ngoài, mọi người có cảm giác tôi tự tin vì tôi có năng lượng cao, nói to.
Tôi vẫn cảm thấy có một cái gì đó gợn gợn, và tôi cảm giác việc mình nói rất nhanh – dường như để khỏa lấp một tiếng nói nhỏ nào đó trong tôi, để khỏa lấp một điều gì đó. Một ngày kia, một người thầy nói với tôi ‘Nhiều lúc dường như mọi người không hiểu được những lời bạn nói, dù mọi người hiểu được năng lượng của bạn’. Đó là lúc tôi cảm nhận được sâu sắc về việc tôi vẫn còn tiếng nói nhỏ là ‘tôi nói mọi người không hiểu mình, về bản sắc chưa thực sự đáng để được mọi người nghe’.
Khi tôi cho phép mình nói với mình là ‘ai cũng có một giá trị gì đó để chia sẻ…’ để kết nối với người khác, tôi bắt đầu cho phép mình lắng nghe mọi người, và dành không gian trong lúc nói để kết nối với mọi người – thay vì nói nhanh để khỏa lấp.
Khi tôi đưa vào sau ‘I am…’ từ khóa ‘worthy’, và niềm tin về việc ai cũng có điều gì đó đáng để chia sẻ với người khác để kết nối, khi nói, tôi xuất phát và tập trung vào cho giá trị thay vì ‘ngấm ngầm’ giả định rằng mọi người có thể không hiểu…
Khi ‘identity’ về ‘I am a confident speaker’ , và sau đó ‘I am worthy’ được xây dựng, hành vi của tôi được điều chỉnh để nhất quán với ‘identity’ đó.
Còn bạn thì sao, ‘identity’ hay có thể bạn nhìn nó dưới dạng niềm tin, khiến bạn đang chững hay bứt phá trong cuộc sống?
Chúng ta có thể làm một thử thách nhỏ:
- Chia tờ giấy của chúng ta ra làm 2 cột
- Ở cột đầu tiên, viết ra 10 câu nói chúng ta hay nói với bản thân nhất sau cụm từ ‘I am…’
- Đánh giá từng câu ‘I am…’ đó, xem câu nào giúp ích chúng ta, câu nào không giúp ích sự phát triển của chúng ta…
- Viết bên cột đối diện, một phiên bản ‘I am…’ khác để chúng ta có thể phát triển thêm một bước tiếp theo
(Tham gia workshop cùng Jen trong chủ đề này vào 26 Feb 2023: https://www.facebook.com/events/732286831512687)
Your Super Sunday Notes
Hi, Empowering Friends!
Do you start your next week today?
Do you start a new day the night before?
Do you start working on yourself before something really bad happens?
Do you start preparing for the coming months at the very beginning of the year?
The past few weeks have been intense for me as I worked on my own, diving deep into myself—my core values, beliefs, and habits—reflecting on the past year (2022) and planning for the next level in 2023. It was tough, not because of the number of tasks to complete, but because of the need to let go of certain things or put them on pause in order to prioritize what truly matters this year in the grand scheme of life.
Do you do this? Do you seriously audit your year, month, week, or even each day?
For me, auditing and planning for the entire new year typically takes almost two weeks. That’s quite a long time, right? How long does it usually take you? How much time do you spend sharpening the axe before a new year, month, week, or day begins?
This quote reminds me to appreciate the value of preparation, even if it seems time-consuming in the short term:
"We have to plan when we are most alert so that we make wise decisions even when we are not at our best."
When we return to our daily lives, we often fall back into old routines and the fast-paced rush of society, which can affect our clarity of mind. That’s why, once we decide on the habits that truly matter, we commit to them for the entire year. Looking back, we’ll see how far we’ve come. And of course, there’s always room for flexibility—to observe, adapt, and welcome unexpected opportunities along the way. Some call this luck, but in reality, it comes to those who prepare and clearly know their direction.
My Approach to Planning the Year Ahead
Re-write my life mission.
Re-define my core values.
Reimagine my vision for life in 10 years, 5 years, 3 years, and in 2023. It should stretch me, help me grow into a better person, and increase my impact.
Evaluate 2022 to understand where I am in my long-term vision.
What have I achieved?
What could I have done better?
What principles of thinking and behavior will guide me in the coming year?
Documenting this as a personal annual report, similar to a company’s newsletter, to track progress and insights.
Re-defining the 7S for 2023
Self-Identity: Prioritize three core values.
Social Role: Prioritize three key social roles.
Skills: Identify three essential skills to master.
Social Circles: Choose three communities to be part of that will nurture my values, roles, and skills while also allowing me to contribute.
Success Stories: Study the journeys of three people who overcame failures and achieved both success and fulfillment. Learn from their resilience, skills, principles, and habits. Reflect on whether I could be such a person for someone else.
Services: Reconnect with the value I bring to others in all that I do.
Scheduling:
Plan out key outcomes for 2023 and break them down into months, weeks, and days.
Identify essential habits to develop every three months, every month, every week, and every day.
Start executing today’s habits today.
What else do you do to prepare for the new year, month, or week?
Wishing all of us a great day, week, month, year—and life! ❤️
OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?
OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?
Today, I reflected on the friends, brothers, and sisters I have had the opportunity to accompany on their journeys of personal development and leadership potential over the past 10 years. These individuals attended training, coaching, and sharing sessions within my community.
They come from different countries, speak different languages, have different occupations, and come from diverse family backgrounds. Yet, when they speak the same language—it seems as though those differences disappear.
I often use English—the language most participants are familiar with—in training, coaching, and sharing sessions. I recall an event I held in England in 2017, where one participant, a woman in her 40s who felt like a dear sister, attended my sessions regularly. She rarely spoke, and her eyes often made me feel as though she was observing me closely—perhaps even evaluating me. Sometimes, this triggered a thought: Am I sharing something unconvincing?
For nearly 20 years of my own childhood, I was reserved and often avoided people out of fear of being judged. Then, when I left my village, I learned to speak up, to share, and to embrace one of my favorite principles: true confidence comes from being yourself, being sincere, and focusing on values. So, despite the occasional ripple of anxiety when I saw her expression, I shifted my focus to our shared values.
By my fifth event, she was still attending. During one of the training activities, I approached her and invited her to share her thoughts with me. I asked, What brings you to my training?
She was silent for a moment before finally saying, I've always wondered—what gives you the courage to do this? You train people in a language that is not your native tongue, you don’t speak English fluently, you’re young, and you come from a developing country—Vietnam. I keep wondering, what drives you?
Hearing her sincerity, I recognized a familiar voice—one I had once heard within myself. But beyond her words, I sensed a deeper desire, something that had been weighing on her.
I looked at her and replied, Thank you. You, and everyone here, are the reason. Believing that I can offer something of value to people is more important to me than the small voice of fear telling me I’m not perfect. I also have a teacher who encourages me—to take action even when I’m afraid, to keep improving every day. I’ve noticed you’ve attended many of my events. What keeps you coming back? And what advice do you have for me to improve?
She smiled and said, Sometimes I don’t fully understand what you’re saying. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable. But the positive energy, the genuine desire to help others, and the people who gather here—these things keep me coming back. Even though English is not your native language, we all share a common language: the language of personal development. And that connects me with everyone here.
Later, I met her again at another program. This time, she was the one who stood up to share her thoughts with the audience—something she had wanted to do for a long time but had been afraid of being judged for speaking in a language that was not her native tongue. But that day, she chose to use our common language—personal development.
When we speak the language of growth and self-improvement, we live life to its fullest potential and create something meaningful. We dare to dream, to take action, to embrace challenges, to love, to give, and to live with integrity. In doing so, we eliminate distance, dissolve judgment, and resonate with one another to create lasting impact.
23 Joyful and High-Performance Habits for 2023
Gratitude for 2022, Welcome 2023...
We embrace new challenges and unexpected moments, knowing they offer opportunities for joy, growth, and impact.
Thank you for everything ❤️
#WeGotThis
Have you tried these 23 Joyful High-Performance Habits for 2023?
Set a goal that elevates your life to the next level.
Reinvent yourself: Rewrite your 3 core values and 3 key skills to master.
Plan and schedule how you will nurture these values and key skills.
Let go of limiting beliefs and cultivate 3 empowering beliefs to support your growth.
Boost your energy daily through exercise and self-improvement.
Master one golden hour each morning.
Use the Pomodoro technique: Release tension after each task, set clear intentions before starting the next.
Beat procrastination with Parkinson’s Law: Finish tasks before they need to be done.
Prepare an antidote in advance for common distractions.
Plan your next day the night before.
Keep the main thing the main thing: Spend most of your time creating meaningful outputs for your primary goal.
Do what scares you.
Create a Mastermind group.
Talk to a stranger.
Have a mentor/coach—or become one.
Perform an act of kindness.
Appreciate the little things every day.
Reflect on your progress and keep going.
Help others build these habits, too.
Evaluate what works and what doesn’t as you develop these habits.
Create your own principles and essential habits to achieve your goal.
Write down what you’re grateful for every day.
Go back to step one and start again.
L.E.A.N YOUR MIND AND BODY FOR A NEW START
How can you L.E.A.N your physical, mental, and spiritual self for a fresh beginning?
1. L: Learning – Loving – Letting Go – Leverage
Learning:
What did you learn in 2022 that brought you closer to your mission and goals?
What will you learn in 2023 to move even closer to your mission and goals?
Loving:
What did you do in 2022 to make yourself feel loved and to give love?
What will you do in 2023 to feel loved and share love with others?
Letting Go:
What did you free yourself from in 2022?
What do you need to let go of to move forward in 2023?
Leverage:
How did you leverage your impact in 2022?
How will you maximize your time and network in 2023 to enhance your impact?
2. E: Energy – Empowerment – Engagement – Ecosystem
Energy:
What actions helped you boost your energy in 2022?
How will you elevate your energy levels in 2023?
Empowerment:
How did you empower yourself and others in 2022?
What will you do to further empower yourself and those around you in 2023?
Engagement:
What activities did you engage in that brought you closer to your mission in 2022?
What will you need to engage in more to progress toward your mission in 2023?
Ecosystem:
Which networks and communities helped you grow in 2022?
What ecosystems or networks will you join to foster growth in 2023?
3. A: Aliveness – Awareness – Appreciation – Alignment
Aliveness:
What made you feel truly alive in 2022?
What will you do in 2023 to bring more vitality into your life?
Awareness:
What did you become aware of in yourself, others, and life in 2022?
What do you want to deepen your awareness of in 2023?
Appreciation:
What did you appreciate the most in 2022?
How will you cultivate appreciation for yourself, others, and life in 2023?
Alignment:
What made you feel aligned or misaligned with your core values in 2022?
What steps will you take in 2023 to align your values, actions, and mission?
4. N: Nurturing – Novelty – Necessity – Now
Nurturing:
What skills and values did you nurture in 2022 to support your growth?
What skills and values will you focus on nurturing in 2023?
Novelty:
What new experiences or ideas did you introduce into your life in 2022?
What will you do in 2023 to bring freshness and innovation into your life?
Necessity:
What did you spend time on in 2022 that wasn’t truly necessary?
How will you increase the necessity of achieving your goals in 2023?
Now:
What makes you feel fully present in the moment and experience life as it is?
The hidden costs
THE HIDDEN COSTS - what we do or what we don't do may have a great hidden 'cost'.
(The idea comes from Jim John)
In the case of not doing something, Jim used an example of the hidden cost of a book. It is not what the book costs (when you buy it), it is what it will cost if you don’t read it to improve your life.
In the case of doing things, Jim used the example of his friend buying a TV.
Jim asked ‘How much did it cost?’,
‘400 USD’, his friend said.
‘No, try again…’, Jim said.
‘I bought it for 400 USD, Jim’, his friend affirmed.
‘I think it cost you a million dollars, because of how many hours you have spent watching it instead of using the time to improve yourself'.
What we do or don’t do costs us more than we can imagine.
What hidden costs do you have?
AUDIT FOR THE NEW WEEK - LIST OF THINGS:
- What I can stop doing
- What I can reduce
- What I can automate
- What I can delegate
- What I can start doing
- What I can triple down
You journal?
Re-write your core values (to describe your best self)
Re-write the feelings you want to experience
Re-write your long-term goals
Re-write three daily goals to achieve long-term goals
Re-write three people who help you achieve the goals and you can help them achieve their goals
Re-write three skills to master
Write three things you feel thankful for
WITNESS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE...
The little boys, me, and the 'coaching' dialogue.
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On the last day of the year, I was sitting and writing at my favorite coffee shop, surrounded by my photos capturing moments from the year.
Three boys, about 10 years old, with their parents sitting at the table next to them, spontaneously came over to my table. They looked at the pictures, ran around playing, and then returned to look at the photos again, in a very natural way.
Seeing the three boys turn back to look at the pictures intently, I asked, "Which picture do you find the most interesting?"
The youngest boy then pointed to a picture of me hugging one of the people in the photo (a female participant at an event summarizing the training course). The other two boys didn’t choose any photos.
The oldest boy asked, “What do you do…?"
Hix, that was a difficult question to answer for me. My parents used to make fun of me for having a job without a name.
I asked, “Can you guess what I do?”
“I don’t know…” he replied.
I then asked, “Do you know anyone who does something like this… and would you want to do something like this?”
The boy was silent for a moment.
“Ah, my dad has a job like this… I think… but I haven’t seen his face here…” he replied, smiling, before running off to play with the other two boys.
Every day has interesting, meaningful moments that arise from random situations. If we observe closely and ask questions to understand, we can feel them.
If we approach life with innocence, like children, asking to understand, we can feel the sensations of life in every moment.
What beauty have you witnessed today?
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Cậu bé, tôi và cuộc đối thoại 'coaching'
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Vào ngày cuối năm, tôi ngồi viết tại quán café yêu thích, bên cạnh những bức ảnh ghi lại khoảnh khắc của năm.
Ba cậu bé ở độ tuổi gần 10 tuổi, có bố mẹ ngồi bàn bên cạnh, một cách tự nhiện, đến cạnh bàn tôi, ngắm nghía các bức ảnh, sau đó chạy đi một vòng nô đùa, rồi quay lại ngắm nghía các bức ảnh; một cách rất tự nhiên.
Thấy ba cậu bé quay trở lại ngắm nghía ảnh chăm chú, tôi hỏi: ‘Con thấy bức hình nào thú vị?’
Cậu bé nhất trong ba cậu chỉ xung quanh rồi chỉ vào một bức ảnh tôi ôm một người trong ảnh (một chị học viên trong một buổi sự kiện tổng kết khóa huấn luyện). Hai cậu bé kia không chọn ảnh nào.
Cậu bé lớn nhất nói ‘Cô làm nghề gì đấy…?’
Hix, câu hỏi khó trả lời với tôi. Bố mẹ hay trêu tôi là nghề không tên. Tôi bảo ‘Con đoán đó là nghề gì…’.
‘Con không biết…’, cậu bảo.
Tôi hỏi ‘Con có biết ai làm tương tự như này chứ…, mà con có muốn có cảm giác làm những thứ như này không’.
Cậu bé lặng thinh một lúc.
‘À, bố con có làm nghề như này…con nghĩ vậy…nhưng chưa thấy mặt bố con ở đây…’, cậu trả lời xong cười và chạy đi chơi tiếp với hai cậu bé còn lại…
…
Mỗi ngày có những khoảnh khắc thú vị, ý nghĩa, đến từ những tình huống ngẫu nhiên…nếu chúng ta quan sát, đặt câu hỏi để thấu hiểu, chúng ta sẽ cảm nhận được nó. Nếu chúng ta có sự hồn nhiên, như những đứa trẻ, hỏi để thấu hiểu, chúng ta cảm nhận được những cảm giác sống trong từng khoảnh khắc…
Bạn trải nghiệm khoảnh khắc đẹp nào trong cuộc sống gần đây...
BRING THE JOY to any stage
When we wake up in the morning:
We can say, "Oh, another day".
Or we can say “Wow, I have another day to experience life”.
You can choose to scroll through your phone and start seeing all the lousy news triggering your feelings of sadness or uncertainty or worries.
Or you can put your shoes on to exercise, write your journal, plan your day and prepare to create joy for the day.
So it means, we can proactively and intentionally trigger the feelings we want to experience - we can generate JOY in our life.
Have you tried? some scientific-proven ways to generate JOY:
1. Set a notification trigger in your phone saying, "Bring the joy".
2. Set a door frame trigger at your home or your office saying, "Bring the joy".
3. Set a waiting trigger while you wait for traffic lights or for food.
4. Set a trigger to hug someone to say hi.
5. Set a trigger to surprise, someone.
(Source: High-Performance Habits book)
What else do you do?
Have a joyful day for all of us!
