Super Sunday Notes - FRIENDLINESS

#SuperSundayNotes #Meet Kim's son

Who sparked your heart last week? I met Kim and felt empowered by her son's friendliness.

'He is like a friendly queen. He says 'hi' to everyone he sees', Kim excitedly told me about her 2-and-a-half-year-old son.

Kim continued talking about his friendliness 'He says 'hi' to everyone, on the street, and at the restaurant - in a very friendly and polite way, and he likes to cheer people up, sometimes in a very demanding and cute way.

One time, he went to a park, and he saw a mum sitting with her daughter but with not a cheerful face. He came next to the mum and waved his hand to say 'hi' to her.

She ignored him. He then tapped on the hands of the lady and waved his hand one more time. She then had to say 'hi' back to him.'

What if we can practice more the friendliness of Kim's son?

A sweet reflective Sunday for all of us!

THE 'GENIUS SPIRIT' WITHIN US...

THE 'GENIUS SPIRIT' WITHIN US...

When he was a boy, an old man heard a story about a woman who found a bottle with a stopper at the beach. When this woman pulled out the cork, she saw a spirit come out. This spirit granted the woman everything she desired.

The old man thus spent his life searching for the bottle with a spirit in it for him. He roamed the beaches of every continent. Because of his obsession with the story of finding the spirit, he always felt like going on and on, he never managed to maintain lasting relationships or keep a long-term job. He never had a feeling of peace and happiness.

One day, on a beach near his house, he found a bottle with a lid, which felt like the bottle he was looking for. He had a hunch that there was a spirit inside the bottle. Usually bottles with a cork are difficult to open, but with this bottle the cork came out easily. A spirit appeared as soon as he opened the bottle. The spirit said to the old man, "I'm here to give you whatever you want, master."

“Anything I want?” replied the old man.

“Well…” said the spirit, “most things, rather.”

The spirit mused, “He's never been in politics, I'm not sure he wants to be President of the United States, nor do I think wishing for a spot on the Olympic basketball team is an appropriate choice. So no, not everything. However, it was more than he had dreamed of, enough to make him feel happy and at peace.”

The old man was a bit overwhelmed but then he became angry. "Why did it take so long to find Spirit? I could have had a lot if I had found Spirit when I was young."

“Ah, master,” said the spirit, “…I've been with you all this time. I'm not in that bottle. I have been with you and have fulfilled your wishes all your life.”

The old man was dumbfounded, not really understanding what the Spirit meant, but he could feel the memories of the past slowly reverberating, the sensations spreading throughout his body, through every cell. He imagined what happened in the past, the beatings, the times of self-pity, the times of sadness; followed by moments of happy laughter, hugs, moments of peace in nature, times without thinking. A sense of faltering within him – he felt like he had been chasing something outside all these years.

He found himself engrossed in a search and chase over the years - not to find a Spirit - but to truly live with his inner calling - to be understood, loved, and connected.

Seeing the old man falter, the spirit said 'Master, I'm ready'…

The old man relaxed his body, said to the spirit, "I hope for one thing – that, when you disappear, I don't need to chase you anymore".

“I do not disappear or appear, I am in you, I actualize what you say to yourself…We will reincarnate you”.

Have you ever had the feeling of the old man in the story above? Always looking for something – a miracle from the outside – but somewhere, you already have it inside of you, your every word, every wish is a message to the 'spirit' within you – and you will have actions and expressions to realize what you regularly tell yourself.

Unlock your heart

Yesterday, I met Mark (an executive coach and speaker, a great soul who loves Vietnam dearly) at Joama - one of my favourite cafes in Hanoi.

As I walked into the café, Mark greeted me at the door with a hug and then warmly asked, 'Hi Jen, great to see you. Have you tried apple pie here? You gotta try it',

I told Mark I had never tried apple pie at the cafe before.

Mark smiled and said to the owner:

'Could you please make Jen an apple pie and a drink - and Jen, you want to order something else?'

I felt like I was seeing a friend after a long absence, even though it was the first time I had met Mark.

Mark is on a mission to make a positive influence on people, and I experienced that feeling through Mark's friendliness, kindness, and especially his open heart.

I learned through what Mark teaches and the books he gave me:

1. It's never too late to follow your dream: Mark had wanted to be a speaker since he was around 20 years old, and then more than 30 years later - Mark pursued his dream.

Mark's wife - began realizing her childhood dream of playing the piano in church at the age of 64.

2. 'Unlock your courage' book: Choosing to listen to the voices that support our dreams, growth, and success.

(One voice says: Don't get your hopes up. That's really risky. You might fail. What will people think? You can't do that. Someone else can do it better. You’re not good enough. You're too young. You're too old...')

(Another voice says: Why not? Go for it. You can learn. When you fall down you can get back up. You will find a way...)

3. 'Unlock your influence' book: Unlocking your influence with honesty, creativity, team development, energy, love, enthusiasm, trust, praise, optimism, persistence, and friendship.

4. 'Unlock your success' book: Have more Luck by = preparing + having a great attitude + taking action + appreciating opportunities.

5. 'Unlock your heart' book: it is an upcoming book by Mark, I am looking forward to its lessons but what I have learned by meeting Mark is that when we open our hearts fully we can connect with other peoples’ hearts.

#have a courageous heartfelt week for all of us

Every step counts

Think big - start small - trust in a compound effect

#supersundaynotes

What was your keyword last week?

Sending to you Jen's keyword from last week: Think big - start small - firmly believe, “Think big for yourself, for the people around you, for the country, for all of us; and start each day with small steps and trust yourself, others and the journey. The compound effect will work it out”

….

Here is a conversation between Mr. Tan and Jen during a training session for SMEs last week (Mr. Tan and Jen are both in the Southeast Asian mentoring network - ASEAN Mentorship for Entrepreneurs Network):

Jen: You are in China now, can you share with us about your trip?

Mr. Tan: Wow, the more I travel, seeing all things that China has done, the smaller I feel.

Jen: Is there a way to see ourselves as small – in a positive way, instead of thinking we are small and thinking 'small' about ourselves and thinking we can't do it?

Mr. Tan: Yes, it is not about seeing ourselves as small and not doing anything about it. We attempt to see the vision - the big picture ahead and know where we are so that we can take concrete actions to move forward from there. If we keep thinking we are the best, maybe we are not seeing the bigger picture. We need to get a wider perspective, and from there know what we would need to do to create that picture…

…

Have you ever felt so small? When you meet someone/a country far ahead of you in your field of work; or standing in front of the vast ocean or a big forest?

Have you ever thought you were nothing, and used that as an excuse not to move on? Or do you see it as a motivator – to see how powerful you are?

To you, if you are reading this, believe that - just like everyone/every country who has gone many years before you, like the ocean, the universe - we all start somewhere, and we can make a masterpiece if we firmly believe in our ability.

Walk every day with small steps that count.

Love!

How far we have come and how far we can go

#howfarwevecome #wherewearenow #howfarwecango

Coachee: I often feel like as though I’m lacking, even when I achieve some of the goals I've set myself.
Jen: How often does that feeling happen?
Coachee: Yes, when I set a goal, I thought that when I achieved it, I would feel more confident because I have done it, but every time I reach the goal, I feel small, and I find myself moving on. I need to brace myself for another goal.
Jen: You feel small compared to what?
Coachee: I feel small compared to the new goal, because the new goal is bigger than the previous one, I feel smaller.
Jen: I set a goal – it's called goal B, and I'm at point A right now, and when I take X steps, I see goal B grow to B + X?
Coachee: That's right.
Jen: And you, have you grown up? because you took 'X' steps?
Coachee: Hix…I don't usually look at it that way, wow.
Jen: You have a goal B, I'm at point A now, you have gone X steps, you see the new goal is B + X, and you are still at A? does not move from the starting point…
Coachee: Yes, I did teleport, I was actually at A + X, but I don't usually let myself think like that...
Jen: If your current way of thinking not helping you, …is there a new way of thinking that will help you to continue to reach your bigger goals, with a greater sense of confidence?
Coachee: I think, I will see myself at A + X, and see this as a journey, rather than only a destination, every step – I am walking on my mission…

Do you take the time to reflect on the steps you've taken? Let it seep into your heart, your being – so that there is a foundation for the next step?

Success is a practice

#Meet #Kimsy

Learning what is under the iceberg of the success of Miss Fashion World Kim Sỹ - her consistent practices:

* Let self-doubts guide your bold action

* Doing what you are passionate about, and being passionate about what you choose to do

* Finding the right mentor and practicing to be one

* Perseverance and patience to stand up when you fail

* Constantly learning and expanding your knowledge

* Dedicating and paying it forward to people and the community

What are your daily practices to create success in your term?

I see something in you

Do you see something possible in others, even as a stranger?

#SundayNotes

A stranger (named Leslie) saw something in a 19-year-old coloured girl - Deshauna Baber- soon to be a military officer, and told Deshauna that she would be the next Miss USA…

‘Were you born in this country?’ asked Leslie who saw Deshauna in the supermarket where she worked at that time.

Feeling a bit offended, as a coloured girl, Deshauna put her hands on her hips and said,

“Yeah, I was born in this country”.

Leslie continued, “Hold old you are?”

Deshauna: “I am 19 years old”.

“Are you married?”

Deshauna: “No ma’am”.

“Do you have kids?”

Deshauna said, “No ma’am. Can I help you to find something?"

Leslie continued, “You look like you could be the next Miss USA”.

Deshauna laughed so hard at what Leslie said as it sounded impossible.

However, Leslie convinced Deshauna to meet her at the local Starbucks the very next day. Leslie convinced Deshauna to compete in the stage pageant.

The first pageant, she lost in the competition.

The second year, she lost.

The third year, she lost.

The fourth year, she lost.

The fifth year, she lost.

And guess what, the sixth year, she lost again.

Deshauna called Leslie – the stranger said Deshauna would be the next Miss USA but it did not happen until after 6 years. Leslie told Deshauna not to give up.

Leslie passed away in 2015. Deshauna didn't give up, she wanted to realize Leslie's belief in her.

In Dec 2016, the 7th time Deshauna competed, she won.

Deshauna became the first member of the military to win the Miss USA title. She also represented the US at Miss Universe 2016 in Manila where she was placed in the top nine.

Leslie saw the potential in Deshauna at an early age. It took 7 years to bring it to fruition…

The goal is not the goal, but the giant person within us, that we can bring out. That is what makes us achieve the goal…

We can practice seeing something in others even they are strangers.

DECISION

DECISION #your #supersundaynotes

Which of your decisions made you experience life on a new level?
#meet #mrLoc #founder of #apicoo

“Hi Jen, after thinking about the last Tet holiday, I decided to take on the role of an 'entrepreneur' this year”.

That is the response of Mr. Loc - founder of Apicoo (with a mission to help people reduce repetitive tasks, to focus on tasks that require more intelligence) - a project which was part of the program: Lab2market 2022-2023, that Jen is in charge of. (Apicoo makes grippers for use with cobots - collaborative robots).

Mr. Loc - one of the founders Jen respects - a brother, a research enthusiast, a fellow student from the Polytechnic School.
Before the Lunar New Year, Jen asked Mr. Loc, 'With a new goal, when joining Lab2market, to be able to bring a new smart robotic gripping tool developed in the lab into real life, what will change in you?'
'I don't know…', Mr. Loc said.
Jen told Mr. Loc that the two brothers were thinking about this – making the decision to change something, not done before, to get results that weren't there before.

After Tet, when we met, Mr. Loc told me that he had been thinking about the 'things he hadn't done before’ and had decided to commit himself to entrepreneurship in this early stage to commercialize the smart robotic gripper.

And Mr. Loc continued to engage in this project in recent months, following his decision. Mr. Loc joined the meeting with investors and listened to feedback; He also participates in meeting trade partners, listening to feedback. Mr. Loc went to the factory to meet his partner…even though he wanted to just continue researching new product lines in his lab…

Recently, he was invited by a developer of cobots to join the research team looking into new lines of robots. He also brought in more angel investors to become his business development partners… He also had more young associates, helping him to start pushing sales on LinkedIn, email marketing… He still didn't feel real. He loves those things, but because it's important and necessary, for him to continue to nurture his passion, and because he's decided to commit himself to the task – he did it.

Mr. Loc and Jen both feel that a new journey has just begun, and if they keep going, everything will have its answer…when they have a new decision.
The decision to switch roles and prioritize the entrepreneurial role – to commit himself to bringing products to market – led him to continue to do things he had not done before, to achieve goals he did not have previously.

What decision did you make last week that has helped you continue to take your life experience to new levels?
When we make decisions, our own, we open the door to new actions. Those decisions serve as a guide for us to contrast direction and action.

Make decisions, from everyday choices – who to meet, what to do, … to bigger decisions – what role to play, what job to do.
Whatever you decide, Jen believes you'll do well, if it's your decision – you feel it’s right and you own it.

PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY?

#meet #Daniel #storyteller of #storyteller

PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY?

I met Daniel at an innovation meeting in Zurich. Daniel and I had a conversation about 'storytelling'.

Jen: What do you spend most of your time doing?

Daniel: Selling stories.

Jen: What stories do you sell?

Daniel: I sell stories about what happens when people work with us.

Jen: How do you usually start selling stories?

Daniel: My question is, 'Are you in the 92%?' - are you getting caught up in everyday things, and forgetting about the big picture...

Jen: What is required for an effective story?

Daniel: Is it really believing what you say, or saying what you really believe...

Jen: Are there any examples of storytellers who have applied this principle, and it worked… for example Martin Luther King?

Daniel: Yes, he effectively told his dream story, but you know what - the part that everyone remembers about him telling the story - was not in his initial preparation, but at the moment. He started by reading the prepared script, and he could feel the audience getting tired. He started improvising – and said from his heart, ‘I have a dream…’

Jen: Do you see anyone else reading – not improvising, but still inspiring people? For example - Barack Obama…

Daniel: Barack Obama has a compelling structure behind it, he believes it – why me, why us, why now. He truly believes in what he says and he lives up to it...

PEOPLE BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU BELIEVE, RATHER THAN WHAT YOU SAY!

A great week for us, with chances to share what is from our hearts!

‘GET PEOPLE WHO CHALLENGE YOU BUT but having shared vision’!

‘GET PEOPLE WHO CHALLENGE YOU BUT but having shared vision’!

On our second day of #womenentrepreneurweek, we met representatives of SAP in Zurich and their founders.

(SAP was started by 5 tech founders; and has been developing for 50 years).

Sharing from our inspiring @ Sabrina Storck Chief Operating Officer of Switzerland SAP, Alexander Finger, Christian, Ana-Maria, Viktoria

1. ‘Invite people who challenge you into your team. You don’t want 5 people with your versions, you want 5 people who are great as the ways they are, believe in the same vision, and challenge each other to move toward the vision’.

We could feel that spirit from the team of SAP, including Sabrina, Alexander, Christian, Ana-Maria, Viktoria – they are all different, but sharing the same spirit of driving innovation.

2. Think big, start small

SAP embraces entrepreneurs within its remit. We had a chance to listen to one of the incubated startups – one of the 5 chosen startups to be incubated internally in SAP last year, among 300 startups.

No matter how big or small you are, as long as you believe you believe in what you do, you go for it, either reaching small or big partners, you have at least a 50% chance of success when you do.

3. Partnership

SAP embraces partnerships from all over the world to be their second arms in their local ecosystems.

CURIOSITY & MASTERPIECE

#CURIOSITY

‘Do you think as we get older, we get wiser but are less valuable to others?’

The above question was asked by Mark – a friend (his age is around 50) whom I met at the UK Embassy meeting last week.

(To those who are reading this, do you think the same?)

I smiled and made a joke, ‘Someone told you this?’ (Mark laughed and said ‘No’.)

Then I asked, ‘What are your thoughts on it?’

He asked me again, ‘I like to hear what your thought on it is’.

I said, ‘There is a thought related to it: when you get older, you may have more experiences but maybe less energy. But I know people who create more energy even when they are older…they position themselves to create energy and have more to share with other people no matter what their age is.’

Mark continued my thoughts, ‘Is it less energy because you become less curious about life? I thought that, if someone thinks they are wise and stops being curious, it is not going to be very good. I used to feel the same when I stopped learning…

But I am thankful because I can go to different countries, so I always feel I have to re-learn everything…I still feel that energy everyday’.

I asked, ‘It is an interesting way to see it, to continue being curious to create energy. How to maintain curiosity even when meeting the same people, in the same place?’

Mark said, ‘Wow, you don’t even have to go to a new place, you can be curious about the different ways you look at your work, with people you work with…, isn’t that true?’, he said.

We can choose to be curious to learn and be more valuable to others. It is a choice.

What do you do to keep that energy of being curious?

- Going to a new place? Meeting a new person?

- Asking a new question?

- Seeing things in a new perspective?

#MASTERPIECE

This weekend, we organized a leadership team development program for a startup team including senior leaders, investors, Masterchef and Masterchef King of Vietnam and young key executing members.

At the end of the first session, on the first day, a young friend, in the team, 20 years of age told us, ‘I don’t know where I am now in the team when working with these Masterchef people…I don’t know what my role is…’

We all thanked the young friend for sharing his thoughts and told him to keep experiencing the next activities to have his own answers.

At the end of the program, on the next day, after doing all activities with other Masters as a team, at the final reflection activity, we asked whether he found his own answer.

He said, ‘I see many things that need to be done now. I can see myself taking the role of one of the Masters, I just don’t put the timeline on it. I know each of us has our role in life, we need to master it, and respect our own pace’.

Each of us are Masters of our own lives, and the parts of those lives create a Masterpiece when we are together.

When we are curious to learn despite where we are in our lives, we can master our small part to create a masterpiece together.

A great week for us <3

YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES

In the past few weeks, I've enjoyed welcoming more friends to visit my family. Over the years, my family has felt more passionate about my career by meeting friends who understand my passion. In the Hanoi Entrepreneurs Community last week, we also had a member who brought his family to a meeting so that the family could understand what they want in life.

Maybe you also have a dream to pursue or a goal to achieve, and your family doesn't fully understand your desire yet. Your family is important to you, so there are times when you feel the struggle between your passions and the wishes of your family. Sometimes you may feel sad or feel as though your family doesn't understand you. Your family may feel the same way.

Even though your family may not fully understand what your dream is, you know that your family wants you to be happy and successful and you want that too. Somewhere, you realize that you and your family share the same desire; It's just that there are different views on how to achieve that success and happiness. You want your family to feel more clearly about your desires and passions, so that both you and your family will feel more understood and resonant with each other.

The following three ideas can help accompany us on our journey to realizing our life's passionate dream or mission.

(1) The first idea is to realize that your family and you want the same thing, that is your success and happiness. It’s important to acknowledge their care and love for you. And you can see that your family has been through a life context which makes them see how to achieve success and happiness – not necessarily in a way than you would like.

(2) The second idea is to create an environment where there is an opportunity to invite your family to feel what you feel, for example to invite your family to your place of work or an event or meet your co-workers or maybe invite co-workers. It's important to invite colleagues who understand your passion and what you believe in, and who believe in you and your potential.

(3) The third idea is to act every day with gratitude towards your family who have given you life and love; and thank them for giving you the opportunity to define your passion. And from there, every day, take action, move towards your passion – to bring results into reality.

YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES

'We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein." (We then need to raise to the next level of thinking...then action, habits and people we meet...)

This weekend our team, including people from different generations and coaches, had the opportunity to work with a successful entrepreneur (he started doing business when he was in grade 7, and he has the highest level of financial freedom now) to help him determine his next level of development.

(And you, who are reading this - what is your next level of development?)

We invite you to join the entrepreneur and reflect on your next level of growth through the following 'coaching' conversation:

Coach: How do you see yourself in 5 years?

Coachee: I see myself as an inspirational person who empowers others to broaden the vision for themselves.

Coach: What makes that important to you?

Coachee: I don't need to work anymore…I'm financially free, I could retire now, but I feel that I need to do something more. I still feel that I want to do something bigger than just make more money. I want to help more people - on a larger scale just not in my province, who are like me when I was much younger, to create a better life for themselves…and create a new standard for this field…

Coach: What makes it so important to do it this way…can it be done another way (or through this industry)?

Coachee: Because it's my industry…It's what I do every day…I want to keep doing something related to it…but making an impact on another level.

Coach: What does that impact look like specifically?

Coachee: I will get people to broaden their horizons and think bigger for themselves; I will set a good example of producing results, I will make them believe in themselves.

Coach: Where are you on that journey on a scale of 0 to 10?

Coach: 6

Coach: What made you a '6' and what would your mindset and skill set look like if you were at '10'?

Coachee: I have to become a leader who creates other leaders, I have to acquire communication skills, system thinking level in a bigger scale…

Coach: What else?

Coachee: And the people I may meet...

----

The next day, to create the environment for him to think from a new level of thinking – a leader makes other leaders: we let him experience an activity in which he would lead 3 people (who are strangers - not his team in reality) and he needs to invite them to join his mission - like the 'generals' in his team.

He walked in to chat with them and immediately he talked about all the tasks that he would assign to each person: person 1 will have 3 tasks, person 2 will have 3 other tasks, …Then he asked 3 people to share what they needed to complete the task.

After that activity, we asked 3 people – how did they feel about the experience from the above activity. They feel that based on their short experience in the past activity, if they work with him, they will work because he can help them secure a living, more than working as ‘generals’ – working on developing themselves to create better results

…

When he looked back at his performance in this activity – he felt he acted at the level of telling people what to do rather than creating an environment to find out each person's 'potential'…He not yet positioned himself from the level of a ‘leader’ who creates other leaders…

At the end of the workshop, his new thinking and positioning is not about delegating tasks to people but empowering thoughts from others…starting from listening and asking questions to understand others…

Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'

Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'

Hope your Sunday goes well

What are your keywords for last week? Mine are 'intrinsic motivation'.

Last week I talked to Tim about what he wants in life. He shared about wanting to increase his company's revenue.

'Jen: What is your goal this year?

Tim: Increase company revenue 3 times?

Jen: Does that goal make you feel challenged and excited enough?

Tim: Yes, it's challenging, but also exciting

Jen: That goal achieved, what does it mean to you?

Tim: I will be seen as a real businessman.

Jen: A real businessman, how would you describe it from your perspective?

Tim: I help my team have a better life, 3 times better than now.

Jen: What's else?

Tim: I raise myself to a new standard of capability, mindset, and skills...

Jen: Tim's version – in the next standard to achieve 3 times the goal of Tim's current friend? What will it look like?

Tim: …(thinking) I got this!'

And you? What goals do you have this year? In life or in business?

What does your version of that goal look like?

If you have an external starting point to achieve that goal, you need to look back to see what internal factors make you want to achieve the goal – like Tim in the example above.

When you connect with your inner motivation, you will always appreciate the journey, and what you learn, instead of being compared and looked at outside – things you have no control over.

According to Ryan and Deci (2000), Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separable consequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun or challenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures, or rewards.

Extrinsic motivation is a construct that pertains whenever an activity is done in order to attain some separable outcome. Extrinsic motivation thus contrasts with intrinsic motivation, which refers to doing an activity simply for the enjoyment of the activity itself, rather than its instrumental value (Ryan and Deci, 2000 ).

A great week for all of us where we connect with intrinsic motivation in what we do!

YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES

Last week was the week of restarting after the Lunar New Year in Vietnam for me, maybe it was the same for you? What has been your keyword to reflect on during the past week? I chose the keyword, 'LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN', as we come back to something, it is useful to refresh our love for it. This keyword is also related to a book Jay Shetty released last week, '8 Rules of Love'. In addition to the context of love between people, these rules can suggest ways for us to have lasting love for the work we do and will do.

By reflecting on Jay's book, I hope we can revisit our own 'book' - the deeper part of ourselves!

The eight love rules Jay shares include:

Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone.

Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma.

Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it.

Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru.

Rule 5: Purpose Comes First.

Rule 6: Win or Lose Together.

Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup.

Rule 8: Love again and again.

Which rule resonates with you the most? This time, I feel triggered by rule number 8: Love again and again.

In the bigger context of a loving relationship, I recall the story of my friend Aaron - his parents have lived together for nearly 50 years, and it still feels like the first days of their love. One of the secrets of their long-lasting happy relationship is, 'To always live each day as an opportunity to make the partner see life will be better when having you around him or her - every day is a day to love like the first day you fell in love with each other'.

An example in Jay's book can also help us relate to this point: when you first meet your lover if you need to do something for them - for example, wait for them for hours, maybe you don't feel that bad, but later when you both get closer – you will feel very uncomfortable when waiting.

At work, we can also apply this principle – if you wake up every day, you set a purpose and action to make your work better because of your presence – you will be excited and add better value to that work. You love the work as if it was the first days doing it. You do it every day so that you can experience the deeper levels of that work.

This coming week, we can reflect to see how to love what we do again:

- One thing I can do to make me feel and act like I'm falling in love with someone for the first time. Enthusiasm, energy, dedication…

- One thing I can do to show my love to the person I love to the fullest. With my parents. With my siblings. With my colleagues...

What principles do you have to keep the fire of your love alive? Here are some ways to nurture the fire of love at work:

- Identify the mission of that job, and see how it aligns with your mission and core values.

- Identify a big enough reason to do the job: mission alignment, core values alignment, and other factors relevant to your priorities at the moment (development of mindset, capacity? relationship? finance? environment?)

- Decide how long to do something, and give it your ‘all’ during that time.

- Regularly review your development: what have you improved?

- Regularly share your vision, mission, and concerns with colleagues who trust your abilities.

- Don't hesitate to ask for help from others.

- Help others on the team.

- Co-create experiences with the team and work-related partners.

-There's a 'buddy' person at work.

- List the things you are grateful for each day.

- Regularly reconnect why you started and what you are grateful for every day.

A loving productive week for all of us!

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CHIÊM NGHIỆM CHỦ NHẬT CỦA BẠN

Tuần vừa rồi là tuần khởi động trở lại sau dịp Tết âm ở Việt Nam đối với mình, với bạn cũng vậy? Từ khóa của bạn là gì để chiêm nghiêm lại tuần qua và lên kế hoạch cho tuần tới? Để chiêm nghiệm lại cả tuần qua, mình chọn từ khóa ‘LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN – YÊU ĐI YÊU LẠI’. Khi chúng ta mới quay trở lại làm một việc gì đó, 'làm mới' và tiếp tục yêu việc đó. Từ khóa này có liên quan đến một cuốn sách Jay Shetty vừa cho ra tuần qua ‘8 quy tắc của tình yêu’. Ngoài bối cảnh tình yêu giữa con người, những quy tắc này có thể gợi mở cho chúng ta cách để phát triển tình yêu bền vững với những công việc chúng ta đang và sẽ làm.

Qua việc cùng chiêm nghiệm sách của Jay, bạn và mình có thể chiêm nghiệm về cuốn sách quan trọng trong mỗi chúng ta - chính bản thân chúng ta - để chúng ta có thể hiểu hơn về chính mình, mỗi ngày!

Tám quy tắc tình yêu mà Jay chia sẻ bao gồm:

Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone (Có thời gian dành riêng cho bản thân)

Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma (Không bỏ qua quy tắc luân hồi)

Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it (Định nghĩa tình yêu trước khi nghĩ về nó, cảm nhận nó và nói ra nó)

Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru (Để cho đối tác của bạn là người thầy ‘Guru’ của bạn)

Rule 5: Purpose Comes First (Mục đích là trên hết)

Rule 6: Win or Lose Together (Thắng hay thua đều cùng nhau)

Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup (Không suy sụp khi chia tay)

Rule 8: Love again and again (Yêu đi yêu lại)

NGUYÊN TẮC NÀO CHẠM ĐẾN BẠN NHẤT?

Trong tuần này, nguyên tắc số 8 khiến mình tâm đắc: yêu đi, yêu lại.

Trong bối cảnh mối quan hệ tình yêu, nguyên tắc này gợi cho mình chuyện của người bạn Aaron – bố mẹ bạn sống với nhau gần 50 năm cuộc đời và có cảm giác vẫn như những ngày đầu mới yêu nhau. Một trong những bí quyết bố mẹ Aaron chia sẻ đó là luôn luôn sống mỗi ngày như là một cơ hội để khiến đối phương thấy cuộc sống sẽ tốt đẹp hơn khi có mình bên cạnh họ - mỗi ngày là một ngày để yêu như những ngày đầu.

Một ví dụ mà Jay cũng đưa ra trong cuốn sách giúp chúng ta liên hệ đến ý này: khi bạn mới gặp người yêu những ngày đầu, nếu bạn cần phải làm gì cho họ - ví dụ đợi họ hàng giờ, có thể bạn cảm thấy không quá khó chịu, nhưng nếu sau này khi đã thân nhau – bạn sẽ cảm thấy khó chịu hơn.

Trong công việc, chúng ta cũng có thể áp dụng nguyên tắc này – nếu mỗi ngày bạn thức dậy, bạn đặt chủ đích và hành động để công việc đó được tốt đẹp hơn vì sự có mặt của bạn – bạn sẽ có sự hào hứng và tạo giá trị cho công việc đó. Bạn yêu công việc đó như tình yêu ban đầu, mỗi ngày, để bạn có thể trải nghiệm được những mức sâu hơn của công việc đó.

Tuần tới, để có một tuần ‘đã’, bạn có thể cùng mình chiêm nghiệm lại:

- Một điều tôi có thể làm để tôi có tâm thế và hành xử như lần đầu yêu một người nào đó? Nhiệt huyết, năng lượng, hết mình…

- Một điều tôi có thể làm để thể hiện tình yêu hết mình như những ngày đầu với người tôi yêu? Với bố mẹ tôi? Với anh chị tôi? Với đồng nghiệp tôi?...

Bạn có nguyên tắc gì để giữ lửa tình yêu của bạn? trong mối quan hệ hay trong công việc? Một số cách để nuôi dưỡng lửa tình yêu với công việc:

- Xác định sứ mệnh của công việc đó, và xem sự gắn kết với sứ mệnh và giá trị cốt lõi của bản thân

- Xác định lý do đủ lớn để làm công việc: sự gắn kết sứ mệnh, giá trị cốt lõi, các yếu tố khác liên quan đến sự ưu tiên của bạn tại thời điểm hiện tại (sự phát triển tư duy kỹ năng? Mối quan hệ? tài chính? Môi trường?...)

- Ra quyết định về khoảng thời gian sẽ làm một việc nào đó, và hết mình

- Thường xuyên nhìn lại sự phát triển của bản thân: bạn đã cải tiến điều gì?

- Thường xuyên chia sẻ tầm nhìn, sứ mệnh, và trăn trở với đồng nghiệp – những người tin cậy năng lực của bạn

- Không ngần ngại trong việc nhờ sự hỗ trợ của người khác

- Giúp đỡ người khác trong đội nhóm

- Cùng kiến tạo trải nghiệm với đội nhóm, các đối tác liên quan đến công việc

- Có một người ‘buddy’ trong công việc

- Liệt kê những điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày

- Thường xuyên kết nối lại lý do bạn bắt đầu và điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày

Chúc chúng ta có một tuần với tình yêu, năng lượng và hiệu quả công việc!

#everyoneneedsacoach #jencoaching #happyhighperformancehabits

Identity 'I am...'

IDENTITY

‘Identity’ là cách bạn nhìn nhận bản thân, dựa trên sự kết hợp giữa giá trị cốt lõi, niềm tin, năng lực, kỹ năng, nhận thức, thói quen…Chính vì vậy ‘Identity’ có thể là cánh cửa giúp bạn bước sang một sự phát triển mới hoặc cản trở bạn phát triển – tùy theo cách bạn sử dụng nó.

Thường ‘identity’ đi đằng sau từ ‘I am…’ Khi bạn đã cho mình là như vậy, bạn sẽ tìm mọi cách để thúc đẩy hành vi, thói quen của bạn để hiện thực hóa ‘identity’ đó.

Khi bạn cảm thấy mình đã thay đổi thói quen, mình đã phát triển kỹ năng, mà cứ có điều gì đó ‘lăn tăn’ trong bạn – bạn vẫn quay lại cách làm cũ sau một thời gian, đó có thể là vì bạn chưa thay đổi từ mức độ của ‘identity’.

Tôi nhớ về trải nghiệm nói trước đám đông của mình, khi tôi thay đổi về ‘identity’ tôi bắt đầu giao tiếp hiệu quả tự tin chân thành với mọi người.Gần 20 năm tôi ít nói vì mỗi khi tôi nói, mọi người thường có thể nói là ‘tôi dở hơi, không thể làm…’. Trong đáy sâu, tôi vẫn khát khao được nói để kết nối. Tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh là tôi có thể nói chuyện và kết nối với mọi người khi tôi ở một môi trường phù hợp, và tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh tôi có thể là một người chia sẻ tự tin ‘I am a confident person’.

Sau khi đi học đại học, tôi đã đưa mình vào những môi trường để được chia sẻ và nói, bằng tiếng Anh. Sau đó, tôi miệt mài đi đến những cộng đồng nói trước đám đông, làm bài nói hàng tuần. Nhìn từ phía bên ngoài, mọi người có cảm giác tôi tự tin vì tôi có năng lượng cao, nói to.

Tôi vẫn cảm thấy có một cái gì đó gợn gợn, và tôi cảm giác việc mình nói rất nhanh – dường như để khỏa lấp một tiếng nói nhỏ nào đó trong tôi, để khỏa lấp một điều gì đó. Một ngày kia, một người thầy nói với tôi ‘Nhiều lúc dường như mọi người không hiểu được những lời bạn nói, dù mọi người hiểu được năng lượng của bạn’. Đó là lúc tôi cảm nhận được sâu sắc về việc tôi vẫn còn tiếng nói nhỏ là ‘tôi nói mọi người không hiểu mình, về bản sắc chưa thực sự đáng để được mọi người nghe’.

Khi tôi cho phép mình nói với mình là ‘ai cũng có một giá trị gì đó để chia sẻ…’ để kết nối với người khác, tôi bắt đầu cho phép mình lắng nghe mọi người, và dành không gian trong lúc nói để kết nối với mọi người – thay vì nói nhanh để khỏa lấp.

Khi tôi đưa vào sau ‘I am…’ từ khóa ‘worthy’, và niềm tin về việc ai cũng có điều gì đó đáng để chia sẻ với người khác để kết nối, khi nói, tôi xuất phát và tập trung vào cho giá trị thay vì ‘ngấm ngầm’ giả định rằng mọi người có thể không hiểu…

Khi ‘identity’ về ‘I am a confident speaker’ , và sau đó ‘I am worthy’ được xây dựng, hành vi của tôi được điều chỉnh để nhất quán với ‘identity’ đó.

Còn bạn thì sao, ‘identity’ hay có thể bạn nhìn nó dưới dạng niềm tin, khiến bạn đang chững hay bứt phá trong cuộc sống?

Chúng ta có thể làm một thử thách nhỏ:

-        Chia tờ giấy của chúng ta ra làm 2 cột

-        Ở cột đầu tiên, viết ra 10 câu nói chúng ta hay nói với bản thân nhất sau cụm từ ‘I am…’

-        Đánh giá từng câu ‘I am…’ đó, xem câu nào giúp ích chúng ta, câu nào không giúp ích sự phát triển của chúng ta…

-        Viết bên cột đối diện, một phiên bản ‘I am…’ khác để chúng ta có thể phát triển thêm một bước tiếp theo

(Tham gia workshop cùng Jen trong chủ đề này vào 26 Feb 2023: https://www.facebook.com/events/732286831512687)

Your Super Sunday Notes

Hi empowering friends,

You start your next week from today?
You start a new day from the night before it?
You start working on yourself before something really bad happen?
You start the next coming months from the very beginning of the year?

The last weeks have been really intensive for me as I worked on my own, digging deep into myself – my core values, my beliefs, my habits… over the last year, 2022, to plan for the next level of 2023. It was tough not because of a lot of things to do, but more about letting go things or putting things on pause to prioritize what matters most this year in the big picture of life.
Do you do this? Auditing seriously your year, your month or your week or your day.

It normally took me almost 2 weeks combined to audit and plan for the whole new year; it is quite a long time, right? How long does it usually take you to do this job? How much time do you usually spend 'sharpening the axe', before a new year begins, a new month, or a new week or a new day begins?

This quote reminds me to appreciate this 'axe-sharpening' – even if it seems time consuming in the short term. 'We have to plan when we are the most alert so that we do sane things when we are not awake'.

When we go back to our daily life, we tend to fall back to the normal routines and all the rush of society, that may affect our best state of mind. So, if we have decided which habits that matter – then we do it for the whole year. When you look back you will see how far you can go. And we always have a room for flexibility to observe and welcome great opportunities on the way – that we do not anticipate at the beginning of the year. That some often call ‘luck’ – which normally comes when we prepare and clearly know where to go.

Here are my ways to plan for the next whole year:
- Re-write the life mission.
- Re-write core-values.
- Re-define the vision of life in 10 years, 5 years, 3 years and in 2023: it has to stretch you, making you become a better person and making a greater impact in life.
- Evaluate 2022 to see where you are now in your long-term vision.
What you have achieved in 2022.
What would you do better?
What are principles of thinking and behaving in the coming year?
Making a record as a company’s newsletter for your whole year outlook.
- Re-define the 7S based on the goal of 2023:
Self-identity: prioritized 3 core values.
Social role: prioritized 3 social roles.
Skills: prioritized 3 key skills.
Social circles: prioritized 3 social circles to be a part of this year to nurture the core values, roles and skills/and you can help people in the circles too
Success stories: 3 people who have been through failures a lot and also achieved great success and fulfilment, learn from their inspiration of overcoming failures, key skills they have and their principles, habits. Think in advance, if you would be one person for someone to refer to, lead as an example.
Services: reconnect values you add to people in whatever you do.
Scheduling: putting it into schedule, time to develop skills, going to the social circles, learning from others.
(Plan out the major outcomes of the whole of 2023, following months, weeks;
Identify key habits: every 3 months, every month, every week, every day.
- Start executing the habit of today from today.

What else would you do to prepare for your whole year and next month/week?

A great day, week, month, year then life for all of us <3

OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?

OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?

Today, I looked back at the friends, brothers, and sisters that I had the opportunity to accompany in their personal development and leadership potential when they attended training/coaching/sessions at my community-sharing over 10 years.

Participants come from different countries, they speak different languages, they have different occupations, they have different family backgrounds, ...; but when they speak the same language – it seems there is no difference.

I often use English – the language most participants know – in the training/coaching/sharing sessions. I remember when I did an event in England in 2017, there was a participant – like a dear sister in her 40s who often came to my sharing sessions. She didn't talk much, her eyes made me feel like she was avoiding me and she was watching and watching - probing. Sometimes this triggers a thought in me – ‘am I sharing something unconvincing’? For nearly 20 years of her childhood, I was taciturn and often avoided people for fear of being labelled. Then when I left the village, I learned to talk and learned to share - and my favourite principle is to be truly confident - to be yourself, sincere and value-focused. When I saw the sister’s eyes, despite the occasional ripple of anxiety, I shifted my focus to shared values.

To my 5th event, the sister still came. During one of the training activities, I approached her and suggested that the sister discussed with me. I asked her - what brought her to my training. She was silent for a while and then said, “I've always wondered, what makes you do this, train people in a language that's not your native language, you don't really speak English well, you're young, you come from a developing country - Vietnam…, I always wonder what gives you that courage”. When I heard her sincere words, somewhere, was the small voice I used to hear speaking to me. I also saw a deeper desire in the sister - things that were troubling her. I looked at her and said, “Thank you. You, and everyone here is the reason - thinking that I can give something of value to everyone. I find it more important than a small voice - the fear of not being perfect. I also have a teacher, who encourages me, to do it even though I'm afraid, even if it's not good, to look back and improve myself, every day; I have seen you at this event many times. What keeps you coming, what do you advise me to do better?” I asked her.

She said, “Sometimes I don't fully understand what you're saying, sometimes I feel uncomfortable about it, but the positive energy, the feeling that you want to help people, and the people who come here – even if it's not your native language but with the same 'personal development' language – I find that 'personal development' language connects me with everyone.”I met her again in another program , she was the one who got up to share her thoughts with everyone – something she wanted to do for a long time, but was afraid of being judged for using a language that was not her native language. And that day, she chose to use the common language, 'personal development'.

When we use the language of self-improvement, we get to live life to its fullest potential and create something good - dare to dream, dare to act, to appreciate challenge – to love, give, live decently. Then, we have no distance, no more judgment, we resonate in order to act and create sustainable results.

23 Joyful High-Performance Habits for 2023

Gratitude to

2022, 2023...

We welcome new challenges and unexpected things. We have opportunities to transcend them to become joy, growth, and impact.

Thanks for all ❤️

#wegotit

Have you tried 23 Joyful High-Performance Habits for 2023?

1. Set a goal that raises your life to the next level.

2. Decide your re-invented version: re-write your 3 core values, 3 key skills to master.

3. Plan and schedule your plan to nurture the values and key skills.

4. Let go of limiting beliefs, plant 3 empowering beliefs to nurture your values and skills.

5. Generate energy each day with exercise and working on improving yourself.

6. Master one-morning golden hour.

7. Focus with Pomodoro: release tension after each activity, set intention before each activity.

8. Finish things before they need to be finished with Parkinson’s Law.

9. Find an ‘antidote’ in advance for common distractions.

10. Plan a new day the night before.

11. Keep the main thing the main thing: Spend the majority of time on creating outputs that matter for your main goal.

12. Do what you are scared of.

13. Create a Mastermind group.

14. Talk to a stranger.

15. Have/Become a mentor/coach.

16. Do an act of kindness.

17. Appreciate little things each day.

18. Integrate what you have done well to keep going.

19. Help others to do all the above habits.

20. Reflect what works, what does not work after developing the above habits.

21. Create your own principles/important habits to achieve your goal.

22. Write down what you feel grateful for each day.

23. Go back to the first step.