YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES

'We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein." (We then need to raise to the next level of thinking...then action, habits and people we meet...)

This weekend our team, including people from different generations and coaches, had the opportunity to work with a successful entrepreneur (he started doing business when he was in grade 7, and he has the highest level of financial freedom now) to help him determine his next level of development.

(And you, who are reading this - what is your next level of development?)

We invite you to join the entrepreneur and reflect on your next level of growth through the following 'coaching' conversation:

Coach: How do you see yourself in 5 years?

Coachee: I see myself as an inspirational person who empowers others to broaden the vision for themselves.

Coach: What makes that important to you?

Coachee: I don't need to work anymore…I'm financially free, I could retire now, but I feel that I need to do something more. I still feel that I want to do something bigger than just make more money. I want to help more people - on a larger scale just not in my province, who are like me when I was much younger, to create a better life for themselves…and create a new standard for this field…

Coach: What makes it so important to do it this way…can it be done another way (or through this industry)?

Coachee: Because it's my industry…It's what I do every day…I want to keep doing something related to it…but making an impact on another level.

Coach: What does that impact look like specifically?

Coachee: I will get people to broaden their horizons and think bigger for themselves; I will set a good example of producing results, I will make them believe in themselves.

Coach: Where are you on that journey on a scale of 0 to 10?

Coach: 6

Coach: What made you a '6' and what would your mindset and skill set look like if you were at '10'?

Coachee: I have to become a leader who creates other leaders, I have to acquire communication skills, system thinking level in a bigger scale…

Coach: What else?

Coachee: And the people I may meet...

----

The next day, to create the environment for him to think from a new level of thinking – a leader makes other leaders: we let him experience an activity in which he would lead 3 people (who are strangers - not his team in reality) and he needs to invite them to join his mission - like the 'generals' in his team.

He walked in to chat with them and immediately he talked about all the tasks that he would assign to each person: person 1 will have 3 tasks, person 2 will have 3 other tasks, …Then he asked 3 people to share what they needed to complete the task.

After that activity, we asked 3 people – how did they feel about the experience from the above activity. They feel that based on their short experience in the past activity, if they work with him, they will work because he can help them secure a living, more than working as ‘generals’ – working on developing themselves to create better results

…

When he looked back at his performance in this activity – he felt he acted at the level of telling people what to do rather than creating an environment to find out each person's 'potential'…He not yet positioned himself from the level of a ‘leader’ who creates other leaders…

At the end of the workshop, his new thinking and positioning is not about delegating tasks to people but empowering thoughts from others…starting from listening and asking questions to understand others…

Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'

Your Super Sunday Notes 'INTRINSIC MOTIVATION'

Hope your Sunday goes well

What are your keywords for last week? Mine are 'intrinsic motivation'.

Last week I talked to Tim about what he wants in life. He shared about wanting to increase his company's revenue.

'Jen: What is your goal this year?

Tim: Increase company revenue 3 times?

Jen: Does that goal make you feel challenged and excited enough?

Tim: Yes, it's challenging, but also exciting

Jen: That goal achieved, what does it mean to you?

Tim: I will be seen as a real businessman.

Jen: A real businessman, how would you describe it from your perspective?

Tim: I help my team have a better life, 3 times better than now.

Jen: What's else?

Tim: I raise myself to a new standard of capability, mindset, and skills...

Jen: Tim's version – in the next standard to achieve 3 times the goal of Tim's current friend? What will it look like?

Tim: …(thinking) I got this!'

And you? What goals do you have this year? In life or in business?

What does your version of that goal look like?

If you have an external starting point to achieve that goal, you need to look back to see what internal factors make you want to achieve the goal – like Tim in the example above.

When you connect with your inner motivation, you will always appreciate the journey, and what you learn, instead of being compared and looked at outside – things you have no control over.

According to Ryan and Deci (2000), Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separable consequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun or challenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures, or rewards.

Extrinsic motivation is a construct that pertains whenever an activity is done in order to attain some separable outcome. Extrinsic motivation thus contrasts with intrinsic motivation, which refers to doing an activity simply for the enjoyment of the activity itself, rather than its instrumental value (Ryan and Deci, 2000 ).

A great week for all of us where we connect with intrinsic motivation in what we do!

YOUR SUPER SUNDAY NOTES

Last week was the week of restarting after the Lunar New Year in Vietnam for me, maybe it was the same for you? What has been your keyword to reflect on during the past week? I chose the keyword, 'LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN', as we come back to something, it is useful to refresh our love for it. This keyword is also related to a book Jay Shetty released last week, '8 Rules of Love'. In addition to the context of love between people, these rules can suggest ways for us to have lasting love for the work we do and will do.

By reflecting on Jay's book, I hope we can revisit our own 'book' - the deeper part of ourselves!

The eight love rules Jay shares include:

Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone.

Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma.

Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it.

Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru.

Rule 5: Purpose Comes First.

Rule 6: Win or Lose Together.

Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup.

Rule 8: Love again and again.

Which rule resonates with you the most? This time, I feel triggered by rule number 8: Love again and again.

In the bigger context of a loving relationship, I recall the story of my friend Aaron - his parents have lived together for nearly 50 years, and it still feels like the first days of their love. One of the secrets of their long-lasting happy relationship is, 'To always live each day as an opportunity to make the partner see life will be better when having you around him or her - every day is a day to love like the first day you fell in love with each other'.

An example in Jay's book can also help us relate to this point: when you first meet your lover if you need to do something for them - for example, wait for them for hours, maybe you don't feel that bad, but later when you both get closer – you will feel very uncomfortable when waiting.

At work, we can also apply this principle – if you wake up every day, you set a purpose and action to make your work better because of your presence – you will be excited and add better value to that work. You love the work as if it was the first days doing it. You do it every day so that you can experience the deeper levels of that work.

This coming week, we can reflect to see how to love what we do again:

- One thing I can do to make me feel and act like I'm falling in love with someone for the first time. Enthusiasm, energy, dedication…

- One thing I can do to show my love to the person I love to the fullest. With my parents. With my siblings. With my colleagues...

What principles do you have to keep the fire of your love alive? Here are some ways to nurture the fire of love at work:

- Identify the mission of that job, and see how it aligns with your mission and core values.

- Identify a big enough reason to do the job: mission alignment, core values alignment, and other factors relevant to your priorities at the moment (development of mindset, capacity? relationship? finance? environment?)

- Decide how long to do something, and give it your ‘all’ during that time.

- Regularly review your development: what have you improved?

- Regularly share your vision, mission, and concerns with colleagues who trust your abilities.

- Don't hesitate to ask for help from others.

- Help others on the team.

- Co-create experiences with the team and work-related partners.

-There's a 'buddy' person at work.

- List the things you are grateful for each day.

- Regularly reconnect why you started and what you are grateful for every day.

A loving productive week for all of us!

=====================

CHIÊM NGHIỆM CHỦ NHẬT CỦA BẠN

Tuần vừa rồi là tuần khởi động trở lại sau dịp Tết âm ở Việt Nam đối với mình, với bạn cũng vậy? Từ khóa của bạn là gì để chiêm nghiêm lại tuần qua và lên kế hoạch cho tuần tới? Để chiêm nghiệm lại cả tuần qua, mình chọn từ khóa ‘LOVE AGAIN & AGAIN – YÊU ĐI YÊU LẠI’. Khi chúng ta mới quay trở lại làm một việc gì đó, 'làm mới' và tiếp tục yêu việc đó. Từ khóa này có liên quan đến một cuốn sách Jay Shetty vừa cho ra tuần qua ‘8 quy tắc của tình yêu’. Ngoài bối cảnh tình yêu giữa con người, những quy tắc này có thể gợi mở cho chúng ta cách để phát triển tình yêu bền vững với những công việc chúng ta đang và sẽ làm.

Qua việc cùng chiêm nghiệm sách của Jay, bạn và mình có thể chiêm nghiệm về cuốn sách quan trọng trong mỗi chúng ta - chính bản thân chúng ta - để chúng ta có thể hiểu hơn về chính mình, mỗi ngày!

Tám quy tắc tình yêu mà Jay chia sẻ bao gồm:

Rule 1: Let Yourself Be Alone (Có thời gian dành riêng cho bản thân)

Rule 2: Don't Ignore Your Karma (Không bỏ qua quy tắc luân hồi)

Rule 3: Define Love Before You Think it, Feel it, or Say it (Định nghĩa tình yêu trước khi nghĩ về nó, cảm nhận nó và nói ra nó)

Rule 4: Your Partner is Your Guru (Để cho đối tác của bạn là người thầy ‘Guru’ của bạn)

Rule 5: Purpose Comes First (Mục đích là trên hết)

Rule 6: Win or Lose Together (Thắng hay thua đều cùng nhau)

Rule 7: You Don't Break in a Breakup (Không suy sụp khi chia tay)

Rule 8: Love again and again (Yêu đi yêu lại)

NGUYÊN TẮC NÀO CHẠM ĐẾN BẠN NHẤT?

Trong tuần này, nguyên tắc số 8 khiến mình tâm đắc: yêu đi, yêu lại.

Trong bối cảnh mối quan hệ tình yêu, nguyên tắc này gợi cho mình chuyện của người bạn Aaron – bố mẹ bạn sống với nhau gần 50 năm cuộc đời và có cảm giác vẫn như những ngày đầu mới yêu nhau. Một trong những bí quyết bố mẹ Aaron chia sẻ đó là luôn luôn sống mỗi ngày như là một cơ hội để khiến đối phương thấy cuộc sống sẽ tốt đẹp hơn khi có mình bên cạnh họ - mỗi ngày là một ngày để yêu như những ngày đầu.

Một ví dụ mà Jay cũng đưa ra trong cuốn sách giúp chúng ta liên hệ đến ý này: khi bạn mới gặp người yêu những ngày đầu, nếu bạn cần phải làm gì cho họ - ví dụ đợi họ hàng giờ, có thể bạn cảm thấy không quá khó chịu, nhưng nếu sau này khi đã thân nhau – bạn sẽ cảm thấy khó chịu hơn.

Trong công việc, chúng ta cũng có thể áp dụng nguyên tắc này – nếu mỗi ngày bạn thức dậy, bạn đặt chủ đích và hành động để công việc đó được tốt đẹp hơn vì sự có mặt của bạn – bạn sẽ có sự hào hứng và tạo giá trị cho công việc đó. Bạn yêu công việc đó như tình yêu ban đầu, mỗi ngày, để bạn có thể trải nghiệm được những mức sâu hơn của công việc đó.

Tuần tới, để có một tuần ‘đã’, bạn có thể cùng mình chiêm nghiệm lại:

- Một điều tôi có thể làm để tôi có tâm thế và hành xử như lần đầu yêu một người nào đó? Nhiệt huyết, năng lượng, hết mình…

- Một điều tôi có thể làm để thể hiện tình yêu hết mình như những ngày đầu với người tôi yêu? Với bố mẹ tôi? Với anh chị tôi? Với đồng nghiệp tôi?...

Bạn có nguyên tắc gì để giữ lửa tình yêu của bạn? trong mối quan hệ hay trong công việc? Một số cách để nuôi dưỡng lửa tình yêu với công việc:

- Xác định sứ mệnh của công việc đó, và xem sự gắn kết với sứ mệnh và giá trị cốt lõi của bản thân

- Xác định lý do đủ lớn để làm công việc: sự gắn kết sứ mệnh, giá trị cốt lõi, các yếu tố khác liên quan đến sự ưu tiên của bạn tại thời điểm hiện tại (sự phát triển tư duy kỹ năng? Mối quan hệ? tài chính? Môi trường?...)

- Ra quyết định về khoảng thời gian sẽ làm một việc nào đó, và hết mình

- Thường xuyên nhìn lại sự phát triển của bản thân: bạn đã cải tiến điều gì?

- Thường xuyên chia sẻ tầm nhìn, sứ mệnh, và trăn trở với đồng nghiệp – những người tin cậy năng lực của bạn

- Không ngần ngại trong việc nhờ sự hỗ trợ của người khác

- Giúp đỡ người khác trong đội nhóm

- Cùng kiến tạo trải nghiệm với đội nhóm, các đối tác liên quan đến công việc

- Có một người ‘buddy’ trong công việc

- Liệt kê những điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày

- Thường xuyên kết nối lại lý do bạn bắt đầu và điều bạn biết ơn mỗi ngày

Chúc chúng ta có một tuần với tình yêu, năng lượng và hiệu quả công việc!

#everyoneneedsacoach #jencoaching #happyhighperformancehabits

Identity 'I am...'

IDENTITY

‘Identity’ là cách bạn nhìn nhận bản thân, dựa trên sự kết hợp giữa giá trị cốt lõi, niềm tin, năng lực, kỹ năng, nhận thức, thói quen…Chính vì vậy ‘Identity’ có thể là cánh cửa giúp bạn bước sang một sự phát triển mới hoặc cản trở bạn phát triển – tùy theo cách bạn sử dụng nó.

Thường ‘identity’ đi đằng sau từ ‘I am…’ Khi bạn đã cho mình là như vậy, bạn sẽ tìm mọi cách để thúc đẩy hành vi, thói quen của bạn để hiện thực hóa ‘identity’ đó.

Khi bạn cảm thấy mình đã thay đổi thói quen, mình đã phát triển kỹ năng, mà cứ có điều gì đó ‘lăn tăn’ trong bạn – bạn vẫn quay lại cách làm cũ sau một thời gian, đó có thể là vì bạn chưa thay đổi từ mức độ của ‘identity’.

Tôi nhớ về trải nghiệm nói trước đám đông của mình, khi tôi thay đổi về ‘identity’ tôi bắt đầu giao tiếp hiệu quả tự tin chân thành với mọi người.Gần 20 năm tôi ít nói vì mỗi khi tôi nói, mọi người thường có thể nói là ‘tôi dở hơi, không thể làm…’. Trong đáy sâu, tôi vẫn khát khao được nói để kết nối. Tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh là tôi có thể nói chuyện và kết nối với mọi người khi tôi ở một môi trường phù hợp, và tôi có cảm giác rất mạnh tôi có thể là một người chia sẻ tự tin ‘I am a confident person’.

Sau khi đi học đại học, tôi đã đưa mình vào những môi trường để được chia sẻ và nói, bằng tiếng Anh. Sau đó, tôi miệt mài đi đến những cộng đồng nói trước đám đông, làm bài nói hàng tuần. Nhìn từ phía bên ngoài, mọi người có cảm giác tôi tự tin vì tôi có năng lượng cao, nói to.

Tôi vẫn cảm thấy có một cái gì đó gợn gợn, và tôi cảm giác việc mình nói rất nhanh – dường như để khỏa lấp một tiếng nói nhỏ nào đó trong tôi, để khỏa lấp một điều gì đó. Một ngày kia, một người thầy nói với tôi ‘Nhiều lúc dường như mọi người không hiểu được những lời bạn nói, dù mọi người hiểu được năng lượng của bạn’. Đó là lúc tôi cảm nhận được sâu sắc về việc tôi vẫn còn tiếng nói nhỏ là ‘tôi nói mọi người không hiểu mình, về bản sắc chưa thực sự đáng để được mọi người nghe’.

Khi tôi cho phép mình nói với mình là ‘ai cũng có một giá trị gì đó để chia sẻ…’ để kết nối với người khác, tôi bắt đầu cho phép mình lắng nghe mọi người, và dành không gian trong lúc nói để kết nối với mọi người – thay vì nói nhanh để khỏa lấp.

Khi tôi đưa vào sau ‘I am…’ từ khóa ‘worthy’, và niềm tin về việc ai cũng có điều gì đó đáng để chia sẻ với người khác để kết nối, khi nói, tôi xuất phát và tập trung vào cho giá trị thay vì ‘ngấm ngầm’ giả định rằng mọi người có thể không hiểu…

Khi ‘identity’ về ‘I am a confident speaker’ , và sau đó ‘I am worthy’ được xây dựng, hành vi của tôi được điều chỉnh để nhất quán với ‘identity’ đó.

Còn bạn thì sao, ‘identity’ hay có thể bạn nhìn nó dưới dạng niềm tin, khiến bạn đang chững hay bứt phá trong cuộc sống?

Chúng ta có thể làm một thử thách nhỏ:

-        Chia tờ giấy của chúng ta ra làm 2 cột

-        Ở cột đầu tiên, viết ra 10 câu nói chúng ta hay nói với bản thân nhất sau cụm từ ‘I am…’

-        Đánh giá từng câu ‘I am…’ đó, xem câu nào giúp ích chúng ta, câu nào không giúp ích sự phát triển của chúng ta…

-        Viết bên cột đối diện, một phiên bản ‘I am…’ khác để chúng ta có thể phát triển thêm một bước tiếp theo

(Tham gia workshop cùng Jen trong chủ đề này vào 26 Feb 2023: https://www.facebook.com/events/732286831512687)

Your Super Sunday Notes

Hi, Empowering Friends!

Do you start your next week today?
Do you start a new day the night before?
Do you start working on yourself before something really bad happens?
Do you start preparing for the coming months at the very beginning of the year?

The past few weeks have been intense for me as I worked on my own, diving deep into myself—my core values, beliefs, and habits—reflecting on the past year (2022) and planning for the next level in 2023. It was tough, not because of the number of tasks to complete, but because of the need to let go of certain things or put them on pause in order to prioritize what truly matters this year in the grand scheme of life.

Do you do this? Do you seriously audit your year, month, week, or even each day?

For me, auditing and planning for the entire new year typically takes almost two weeks. That’s quite a long time, right? How long does it usually take you? How much time do you spend sharpening the axe before a new year, month, week, or day begins?

This quote reminds me to appreciate the value of preparation, even if it seems time-consuming in the short term:
"We have to plan when we are most alert so that we make wise decisions even when we are not at our best."

When we return to our daily lives, we often fall back into old routines and the fast-paced rush of society, which can affect our clarity of mind. That’s why, once we decide on the habits that truly matter, we commit to them for the entire year. Looking back, we’ll see how far we’ve come. And of course, there’s always room for flexibility—to observe, adapt, and welcome unexpected opportunities along the way. Some call this luck, but in reality, it comes to those who prepare and clearly know their direction.

My Approach to Planning the Year Ahead

  • Re-write my life mission.

  • Re-define my core values.

  • Reimagine my vision for life in 10 years, 5 years, 3 years, and in 2023. It should stretch me, help me grow into a better person, and increase my impact.

  • Evaluate 2022 to understand where I am in my long-term vision.

    • What have I achieved?

    • What could I have done better?

    • What principles of thinking and behavior will guide me in the coming year?

    • Documenting this as a personal annual report, similar to a company’s newsletter, to track progress and insights.

Re-defining the 7S for 2023

  1. Self-Identity: Prioritize three core values.

  2. Social Role: Prioritize three key social roles.

  3. Skills: Identify three essential skills to master.

  4. Social Circles: Choose three communities to be part of that will nurture my values, roles, and skills while also allowing me to contribute.

  5. Success Stories: Study the journeys of three people who overcame failures and achieved both success and fulfillment. Learn from their resilience, skills, principles, and habits. Reflect on whether I could be such a person for someone else.

  6. Services: Reconnect with the value I bring to others in all that I do.

  7. Scheduling:

    • Plan out key outcomes for 2023 and break them down into months, weeks, and days.

    • Identify essential habits to develop every three months, every month, every week, and every day.

    • Start executing today’s habits today.

What else do you do to prepare for the new year, month, or week?

Wishing all of us a great day, week, month, year—and life! ❤️

OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?

OUR 'COMMON LANGUAGE'?

Today, I reflected on the friends, brothers, and sisters I have had the opportunity to accompany on their journeys of personal development and leadership potential over the past 10 years. These individuals attended training, coaching, and sharing sessions within my community.

They come from different countries, speak different languages, have different occupations, and come from diverse family backgrounds. Yet, when they speak the same language—it seems as though those differences disappear.

I often use English—the language most participants are familiar with—in training, coaching, and sharing sessions. I recall an event I held in England in 2017, where one participant, a woman in her 40s who felt like a dear sister, attended my sessions regularly. She rarely spoke, and her eyes often made me feel as though she was observing me closely—perhaps even evaluating me. Sometimes, this triggered a thought: Am I sharing something unconvincing?

For nearly 20 years of my own childhood, I was reserved and often avoided people out of fear of being judged. Then, when I left my village, I learned to speak up, to share, and to embrace one of my favorite principles: true confidence comes from being yourself, being sincere, and focusing on values. So, despite the occasional ripple of anxiety when I saw her expression, I shifted my focus to our shared values.

By my fifth event, she was still attending. During one of the training activities, I approached her and invited her to share her thoughts with me. I asked, What brings you to my training?

She was silent for a moment before finally saying, I've always wondered—what gives you the courage to do this? You train people in a language that is not your native tongue, you don’t speak English fluently, you’re young, and you come from a developing country—Vietnam. I keep wondering, what drives you?

Hearing her sincerity, I recognized a familiar voice—one I had once heard within myself. But beyond her words, I sensed a deeper desire, something that had been weighing on her.

I looked at her and replied, Thank you. You, and everyone here, are the reason. Believing that I can offer something of value to people is more important to me than the small voice of fear telling me I’m not perfect. I also have a teacher who encourages me—to take action even when I’m afraid, to keep improving every day. I’ve noticed you’ve attended many of my events. What keeps you coming back? And what advice do you have for me to improve?

She smiled and said, Sometimes I don’t fully understand what you’re saying. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable. But the positive energy, the genuine desire to help others, and the people who gather here—these things keep me coming back. Even though English is not your native language, we all share a common language: the language of personal development. And that connects me with everyone here.

Later, I met her again at another program. This time, she was the one who stood up to share her thoughts with the audience—something she had wanted to do for a long time but had been afraid of being judged for speaking in a language that was not her native tongue. But that day, she chose to use our common language—personal development.

When we speak the language of growth and self-improvement, we live life to its fullest potential and create something meaningful. We dare to dream, to take action, to embrace challenges, to love, to give, and to live with integrity. In doing so, we eliminate distance, dissolve judgment, and resonate with one another to create lasting impact.

23 Joyful and High-Performance Habits for 2023

Gratitude for 2022, Welcome 2023...

We embrace new challenges and unexpected moments, knowing they offer opportunities for joy, growth, and impact.

Thank you for everything ❤️

#WeGotThis

Have you tried these 23 Joyful High-Performance Habits for 2023?

  1. Set a goal that elevates your life to the next level.

  2. Reinvent yourself: Rewrite your 3 core values and 3 key skills to master.

  3. Plan and schedule how you will nurture these values and key skills.

  4. Let go of limiting beliefs and cultivate 3 empowering beliefs to support your growth.

  5. Boost your energy daily through exercise and self-improvement.

  6. Master one golden hour each morning.

  7. Use the Pomodoro technique: Release tension after each task, set clear intentions before starting the next.

  8. Beat procrastination with Parkinson’s Law: Finish tasks before they need to be done.

  9. Prepare an antidote in advance for common distractions.

  10. Plan your next day the night before.

  11. Keep the main thing the main thing: Spend most of your time creating meaningful outputs for your primary goal.

  12. Do what scares you.

  13. Create a Mastermind group.

  14. Talk to a stranger.

  15. Have a mentor/coach—or become one.

  16. Perform an act of kindness.

  17. Appreciate the little things every day.

  18. Reflect on your progress and keep going.

  19. Help others build these habits, too.

  20. Evaluate what works and what doesn’t as you develop these habits.

  21. Create your own principles and essential habits to achieve your goal.

  22. Write down what you’re grateful for every day.

  23. Go back to step one and start again.

L.E.A.N YOUR MIND AND BODY FOR A NEW START

How can you L.E.A.N your physical, mental, and spiritual self for a fresh beginning?

1. L: Learning – Loving – Letting Go – Leverage

Learning:

  • What did you learn in 2022 that brought you closer to your mission and goals?

  • What will you learn in 2023 to move even closer to your mission and goals?

Loving:

  • What did you do in 2022 to make yourself feel loved and to give love?

  • What will you do in 2023 to feel loved and share love with others?

Letting Go:

  • What did you free yourself from in 2022?

  • What do you need to let go of to move forward in 2023?

Leverage:

  • How did you leverage your impact in 2022?

  • How will you maximize your time and network in 2023 to enhance your impact?

2. E: Energy – Empowerment – Engagement – Ecosystem

Energy:

  • What actions helped you boost your energy in 2022?

  • How will you elevate your energy levels in 2023?

Empowerment:

  • How did you empower yourself and others in 2022?

  • What will you do to further empower yourself and those around you in 2023?

Engagement:

  • What activities did you engage in that brought you closer to your mission in 2022?

  • What will you need to engage in more to progress toward your mission in 2023?

Ecosystem:

  • Which networks and communities helped you grow in 2022?

  • What ecosystems or networks will you join to foster growth in 2023?

3. A: Aliveness – Awareness – Appreciation – Alignment

Aliveness:

  • What made you feel truly alive in 2022?

  • What will you do in 2023 to bring more vitality into your life?

Awareness:

  • What did you become aware of in yourself, others, and life in 2022?

  • What do you want to deepen your awareness of in 2023?

Appreciation:

  • What did you appreciate the most in 2022?

  • How will you cultivate appreciation for yourself, others, and life in 2023?

Alignment:

  • What made you feel aligned or misaligned with your core values in 2022?

  • What steps will you take in 2023 to align your values, actions, and mission?

4. N: Nurturing – Novelty – Necessity – Now

Nurturing:

  • What skills and values did you nurture in 2022 to support your growth?

  • What skills and values will you focus on nurturing in 2023?

Novelty:

  • What new experiences or ideas did you introduce into your life in 2022?

  • What will you do in 2023 to bring freshness and innovation into your life?

Necessity:

  • What did you spend time on in 2022 that wasn’t truly necessary?

  • How will you increase the necessity of achieving your goals in 2023?

Now:

  • What makes you feel fully present in the moment and experience life as it is?

The hidden costs

THE HIDDEN COSTS - what we do or what we don't do may have a great hidden 'cost'.

(The idea comes from Jim John)

In the case of not doing something, Jim used an example of the hidden cost of a book. It is not what the book costs (when you buy it), it is what it will cost if you don’t read it to improve your life.

In the case of doing things, Jim used the example of his friend buying a TV.

Jim asked ‘How much did it cost?’,

‘400 USD’, his friend said.

‘No, try again…’, Jim said.

‘I bought it for 400 USD, Jim’, his friend affirmed.

‘I think it cost you a million dollars, because of how many hours you have spent watching it instead of using the time to improve yourself'.

What we do or don’t do costs us more than we can imagine.

What hidden costs do you have?

AUDIT FOR THE NEW WEEK - LIST OF THINGS:

- What I can stop doing

- What I can reduce

- What I can automate

- What I can delegate

- What I can start doing

- What I can triple down

You journal?

Re-write your core values (to describe your best self)

Re-write the feelings you want to experience

Re-write your long-term goals

Re-write three daily goals to achieve long-term goals

Re-write three people who help you achieve the goals and you can help them achieve their goals

Re-write three skills to master

Write three things you feel thankful for

WITNESS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE...

The little boys, me, and the 'coaching' dialogue.

-------------

On the last day of the year, I was sitting and writing at my favorite coffee shop, surrounded by my photos capturing moments from the year.

Three boys, about 10 years old, with their parents sitting at the table next to them, spontaneously came over to my table. They looked at the pictures, ran around playing, and then returned to look at the photos again, in a very natural way.

Seeing the three boys turn back to look at the pictures intently, I asked, "Which picture do you find the most interesting?"

The youngest boy then pointed to a picture of me hugging one of the people in the photo (a female participant at an event summarizing the training course). The other two boys didn’t choose any photos.

The oldest boy asked, “What do you do…?"

Hix, that was a difficult question to answer for me. My parents used to make fun of me for having a job without a name.

I asked, “Can you guess what I do?”

“I don’t know…” he replied.

I then asked, “Do you know anyone who does something like this… and would you want to do something like this?”

The boy was silent for a moment.

“Ah, my dad has a job like this… I think… but I haven’t seen his face here…” he replied, smiling, before running off to play with the other two boys.

Every day has interesting, meaningful moments that arise from random situations. If we observe closely and ask questions to understand, we can feel them.

If we approach life with innocence, like children, asking to understand, we can feel the sensations of life in every moment.

What beauty have you witnessed today?

----------------------------------------------------------

Cậu bé, tôi và cuộc đối thoại 'coaching'

----

Vào ngày cuối năm, tôi ngồi viết tại quán café yêu thích, bên cạnh những bức ảnh ghi lại khoảnh khắc của năm.

Ba cậu bé ở độ tuổi gần 10 tuổi, có bố mẹ ngồi bàn bên cạnh, một cách tự nhiện, đến cạnh bàn tôi, ngắm nghía các bức ảnh, sau đó chạy đi một vòng nô đùa, rồi quay lại ngắm nghía các bức ảnh; một cách rất tự nhiên.

Thấy ba cậu bé quay trở lại ngắm nghía ảnh chăm chú, tôi hỏi: ‘Con thấy bức hình nào thú vị?’

Cậu bé nhất trong ba cậu chỉ xung quanh rồi chỉ vào một bức ảnh tôi ôm một người trong ảnh (một chị học viên trong một buổi sự kiện tổng kết khóa huấn luyện). Hai cậu bé kia không chọn ảnh nào.

Cậu bé lớn nhất nói ‘Cô làm nghề gì đấy…?’

Hix, câu hỏi khó trả lời với tôi. Bố mẹ hay trêu tôi là nghề không tên. Tôi bảo ‘Con đoán đó là nghề gì…’.

‘Con không biết…’, cậu bảo.

Tôi hỏi ‘Con có biết ai làm tương tự như này chứ…, mà con có muốn có cảm giác làm những thứ như này không’.

Cậu bé lặng thinh một lúc.

‘À, bố con có làm nghề như này…con nghĩ vậy…nhưng chưa thấy mặt bố con ở đây…’, cậu trả lời xong cười và chạy đi chơi tiếp với hai cậu bé còn lại…

…

Mỗi ngày có những khoảnh khắc thú vị, ý nghĩa, đến từ những tình huống ngẫu nhiên…nếu chúng ta quan sát, đặt câu hỏi để thấu hiểu, chúng ta sẽ cảm nhận được nó. Nếu chúng ta có sự hồn nhiên, như những đứa trẻ, hỏi để thấu hiểu, chúng ta cảm nhận được những cảm giác sống trong từng khoảnh khắc…

Bạn trải nghiệm khoảnh khắc đẹp nào trong cuộc sống gần đây...

BRING THE JOY to any stage

When we wake up in the morning:

We can say, "Oh, another day".

Or we can say “Wow, I have another day to experience life”.

You can choose to scroll through your phone and start seeing all the lousy news triggering your feelings of sadness or uncertainty or worries.

Or you can put your shoes on to exercise, write your journal, plan your day and prepare to create joy for the day.

So it means, we can proactively and intentionally trigger the feelings we want to experience - we can generate JOY in our life.

Have you tried? some scientific-proven ways to generate JOY:

1. Set a notification trigger in your phone saying, "Bring the joy".

2. Set a door frame trigger at your home or your office saying, "Bring the joy".

3. Set a waiting trigger while you wait for traffic lights or for food.

4. Set a trigger to hug someone to say hi.

5. Set a trigger to surprise, someone.

(Source: High-Performance Habits book)

What else do you do?

Have a joyful day for all of us!

A new day comes for all of us

We all can make a CHOICE to have a new beginning with a new standard of joy, growth, and contribution.

Ways of thinking that hinder our growth, joy, and connection:

• Polarised thinking: This refers to ‘black and white’ thinking. Although life is usually not this clearly delineated, people can fall into the trap of seeing things as opposites. This way of thinking necessarily limits choices. Statements such as ‘I never win anything’ and ‘I am always the one who ends up apologising’ demonstrate polarised thinking.

• Over-generalising: This refers to making general or exaggerated statements based on limited information. For example, if someone encounters one person in Brussels being an inconsiderate driver, it would be over-generalising to conclude that ‘Belgians are terrible drivers’. Or, if a coachee makes a statement about ‘motivation levels in the charity sector’ based on one job working for a charity shop, this is another example of over-generalising.

• Catastrophising: Catastrophising occurs when a person focuses unhelpfully on a mistake to such an extent that a relatively small error begins to feel like a catastrophe. People who catastrophise tend to move quickly in their thinking to the ‘worst case scenario’ and they tend to overrate the possibility of this occurring.

• Personalisation: Basically, this is about taking everything personally. If a coachee feels that everyone’s actions are directed at her, this will lead to anxiety and defensiveness. People who get caught by this thinking error find it difficult to receive any feedback, as they are likely to take any suggestions as criticism.

• Blaming: This is a relatively common thinking error involving the coachee blaming others completely for things that go wrong. By doing this, the coachee does not have to acknowledge her role in a problem or difficult situation. Coachees who start a coaching relationship by saying ‘It’s not me you should be speaking to. You should be coaching my boss’ may be experiencing this thinking error.

• Mindreading: This is when we think that we can tell what someone else is thinking and, unreasonably, we believe that this guess is true (in other words, that we ‘know’ what may be going on in someone else’s head). This can be noticed when a coachee says ‘I know exactly how they are going to respond’ or ‘She doesn’t say anything but I know what she is thinking’.

• Self-criticism: Some people believe that criticism is a good way of motivating oneself. This can lead to self-critical thoughts, and people can end up holding unreasonably high expectations for themselves. The fallacy is that such a view is actually beneficial. While it can motivate for short periods of time, it is damaging in the longer term.

• Unchanging feelings: This thinking error involves believing that because we feel a particular way about something, we will always feel the same way. An example is someone who says ‘I won’t want to retire in the south of France because I get bored in quiet towns.’

• Halo effect: This effect occurs when we believe that everything about a person is wonderful just because we have experienced one positive trait or aspect of her personality. The positive impression (the ‘halo’) influences our assessment of all that person’s characteristics or behaviour.

• Minimising: This is when we underplay our role in successful events or positive outcomes. People who minimise their achievements would say ‘Oh, that was nothing’ or ‘I didn’t do much’, even when they contributed significantly.

• Self-serving bias: This is when we attribute positive events to one’s own behaviour but negative events to external factors. In other words, when things go well, this is believed to be due to one’s own efforts but when things go badly, other people or factors are blamed.

• Assumed similarity: This common thinking error is based on believing that other people have similar thoughts and attitudes to ours.

• In-group bias: The in-group bias is a tendency to trust and value people who are like ourselves or from similar cultural or social backgrounds.

• Positively-based predictions: This is another common error, especially in optimists. A positively-based prediction is when we assume things will go well without any evidence to support this.

• Repeating the same behaviour and expecting different results: Some people continue to repeat their behaviour, or do more of the same thing, while hoping for different results. For example, when repeatedly asking a child to clean her room does not work, we sometimes simply increase the level of nagging!

(An introduction of Coaching Skill, by Christian)

#THANKS TO THE OX WHICH DOES NOT HAVE WINGS

#THANKS TO THE OX WHICH DOES NOT HAVE WINGS

Có chàng thanh niên vừa nhận được một công việc mà anh từng mơ ước. Anh bước vào ngày làm việc đầu tiên với một chiếc áo sơ mi mới màu trắng. Anh ta rất vui khi mặc chiếc áo đó để đi làm vào sáng thứ Hai, ngày đầu tuần. Trên đường đi làm, bằng xe máy, anh vừa đi vừa hát.

Khi đi được nửa đường đến công ty, một chú chim đang bay trên trời “tặng” anh một món quà đặc biệt – tạo thành vết trên chiếc áo sơ mi trắng của anh.

Anh ta hơi tức giận nhưng rồi vẫn đi thẳng đến chỗ làm vì nếu anh quay về thay áo, thì sẽ muộn giờ. Anh không còn vui vẻ hát nữa, vừa đi vừa thấy bức bối, bất mãn rằng mình không may mắn, rằng con chim đó thật là vô duyên. Vài phút sau, anh ta phải dừng chờ đèn đỏ với khoảng thời gian dài nhất - 99 giây, điều này càng khiến anh cảm thấy bực bội, khó chịu. Anh định bụng nhìn xung quanh có công an không để vượt đèn đỏ. Bỗng nhiên, anh nhìn thấy một con bò đang… “đi nặng” ở bên kia đường.

Một ý nghĩ lóe lên trong đầu khiến anh bật cười: “Thật cảm ơn vì con bò vì nó không có cánh nếu không thì…”. Nếu con bò có cánh thì áo của anh lại được “tặng” thêm món quà to gấp mấy lần món quà của con chim!

Khi cười, anh thấy sự bực bội được giải tỏa, ý định vượt đèn đỏ cũng không còn nữa. Anh hít một hơi thật sâu và cảm nhận được luồng oxy đi lên não làm anh sảng khoái. Tín hiệu đèn chuyển sang xanh, anh vừa đi vừa hát. Anh bước vào văn phòng, mọi người nhìn anh với ánh mắt băn khoăn vì vết bẩn trên áo, nhưng vẻ mặt anh thì hớn hở. Anh cười và kể lại câu chuyện về ‘con bò không có cánh’, đồng nghiệp của anh đều cười, có người cho đây có thể là câu chuyện của năm. Những tiếng cười phá vỡ khoảng cách với đồng nghiệp mới, ngày làm việc đầu tiên của anh diễn ra suôn sẻ. Đúng là thật cảm ơn vì con bò vì nó không có cánh và con chim đã tặng anh một “món quà đặc biệt”.

Nếu là anh chàng đó, lựa chọn của bạn là gì? “Sự bực bội” vì gặp phải một tình huống không mong muốn như món quà của con chim hay “sự hài hước” vì một ý tưởng nào đó như “con bò không có cánh”? Tập trung sự tức giận về một việc đã xảy ra hay tập trung vào ý nghĩ khiến bạn cảm thấy tích cực về sự việc đó?

Bạn đã gặp tình huống tương tự như thế bao giờ chưa? Khi một sự việc không mong muốn xảy ra, theo phản ứng tự nhiên, bạn sẽ có cảm giác tiêu cực hay nhìn nó theo góc nhìn tích cực?

Chúng ta luôn được lựa chọn giữa cảm xúc tích cực và cảm xúc tiêu cực đối với bất cứ chuyện gì xảy ra. Chúng ta luôn có quyền lựa chọn! Nếu chúng ta càng nghĩ về những điều tiêu cực thì chúng sẽ càng lan tỏa và điều khiển hành động của chúng ta! Nếu chúng ta nhìn nhận nó và gán cho nó một ý nghĩa khác, tích cực hơn, chúng ta sẽ có hành động tích cực hơn.

THE GENIE WITHIN

THE GENIE WITHIN

When he was just a boy, the old man heard a story of a woman who found a corked bottle on the beach. When she pulled the cork from the bottle, she imagined a genie came out. The genie granted

the woman all her wishes. The old man spent his life searching

for his own bottle with a genie in it. He combed the beaches of

every continent. Because of his obsession, he never made lasting

relationships or held a job for long. He was an unhappy man.

One day on a beach near his home, he found the bottle he

had been looking for. For a reason unknown to him, he felt

there was a genie inside. Corks in other bottles were hard to

pull out, but this one slipped out easily. Out of nowhere a genie

appeared. The genie said to the old man, “I am here to grant

you whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” replied the old man.

“Well,” said the genie, “almost anything. Since you are

old and have never been in politics, it’s unlikely that you can

become President of the United States, nor do I think it wise to

wish for a spot on the Olympic basketball team. And I do not

think you want anything taken at someone else’s expense. So,

no, not everything. Still, more than you have dreamed of.

Certainly enough to make you happy and peaceful.”

The old man was ecstatic but then he became angry. “Why

has it taken me so long to find you? I could have accomplished

so much had I found you when I was young.”

“Ah, master,” said the genie, “but I have been with you all along. I was not in that bottle. I have been with you and granting your wishes all of your life. Remember when you were

six and you wished your father would pay more attention to

you? You cut your finger. That was no accident. Your father

washed the cut and held you. Remember? There was the time

you took the CPA exam. You kept telling me you were not smart

enough to be a CPA and that you were not worthy to make as

much money as a CPA. Remember how you froze during the

exam? You got your wish.”

“Because you were not aware I was granting wishes,” continued his genie, “your wishes often hurt you. Sometimes the wishes were not even yours. They came from parents, teachers, friends, and, yes, often from TV ads.”

“I am glad you found me. Now you will make wishes that are

thoughtful and good.

Now we can work together. Together we can stay healthy, find

peace, and enjoy the richness of life."

DREAM AGAIN

DREAM AGAIN with Vienvi

"I have lost weight, from 45 kg to 35 kg since I joined the team. I feel under pressure, but I still love to work there, the team is great," Vienvi was in tears, talking about her experience of working in her new job.

"I sometimes take a sheet of paper to draw my dream out, but as the day goes by, I don't do anything with it, I don't feel fully alive," Vienvi continued.

[What did Vienvi need? What would you tell Vienvi?

If someone we know has felt like this before, the best we could do in supporting them is to LISTEN.]

I listened, I was waiting to hear more. Vienvi continued sharing her experiences, in tears and smiles...Her need was someone to listen to her, no judgment, no advice, just listening.

30 minutes went by. Vienvi seemed to be relieved, her emotions lifted. She started smiling, “I want to do something differently.”

"What did you draw on the paper? and what would be the first thing you want to do?", I asked with excitement, changing the direction of conversation when seeing Vienvi's mood lifting.

"I want to be a teacher again," she smiled...”I am happy when seeing my students grow.”

"I want to dream again for myself," she smiled.

[If someone you meet felt stuck for so long in something, listen, without judgment, join their excitement for them to dream again.]

After our conversation, I could see a smile on Vienvi’s face again. I met her months later, shining as a teacher in a new school as an aside job while she continued her full-time job.

Sometimes our soul needs “water” again by being able to dream again with us. If we dare to dream it, daily, it will trigger us to take action to realize it.

Sometimes, we don’t feel alive when we are under pressure, and we lose track of our dreams.

Dream again, grow every day! Our soul comes alive!

P/s: thanks to all sis and bro participating in the training course in the pic for dreaming again together

THE KEY WITHIN YOU

After a tiring day at work, Ben walked home and realized he has forgotten his keys. Ben didn't remember where he left the keys. He frantically turned around and looked along the way from home to work but couldn't find the key. He went to the company, rummaged through the desk, and couldn't find it. He turned again and searched along the path he had taken. The more I look for Ben, the more hopeless it became.

Tired, he rested on a public chair and fell asleep. When he woke up, it was already dark, he decided to go home and find a locksmith. When he got home, he took out his phone to call the locksmith. When he pulled out his phone, there was a “clink” – something fell to the ground. That was the key he had been searching for. Turns out it was in him.

Many times, we are busy looking for the things we already have. We often keep running after illusions, and distant things, to find happiness but forget that happiness begins with the simple things around us. Many times, we just need to take a deep breath, relax our bodies, and we will feel alive - and let go of what is no longer helping us on our next journey.

I find this saying fascinating: “You cannot stand in the present to connect the future destinations, you can only stand from the future to connect the points of the present. You have to believe that the points will somehow connect in the future. You have to believe in something - your heart, fate, destiny, life, whatever." (Steve Jobs)

What do you believe in so that you will be, do and give with your happy self? You already have it in you.

#30ngaythaydoithoiquen

#everyoneneedsacoach

#happyhighperformancehabits

#jencoaching

HUGS/TOUCH and TRANSFORMATION

HUGS/TOUCH

and TRANSFORMATION

[If you cannot do a hug physically then virtually]

[Thói quen sống vui làm việc hiệu quả cao: Ôm, ôm thôi (không ôm bằng cơ thể thì gửi một cái ôm trực tuyến nhé)]

"What are you doing? Something happens to you?", Anna removed Brian's hands off her hands.

Brian told me the first reaction of his mother when he touched her hands after many years of not meeting each other.

His mum, Anna had lived by herself for long and she lived in a violent family in which people would not express the feelings for each other by hugging or touching.

Seeing Anna's reaction but knowing deep down, she would feel some connection from his touch, Brian told himself to slowly introduce touching and hugging to his mum.

Each day, later on, he would gently touch her, on shoulders or sometimes on the back. Some first weeks, mum kept telling him "what matters to you?" Brian just smiled.

Week by week, Anna started getting used to the touching of Brian, instead of quickly resisting, she kept silent.

After almost a year, Anna proactively touched and hugged Brian. She would demand Brian hug her whenever he left the house or seeing her. She also started being more open to hug others. She became happier and it had a lot to do with the patience of Brian when introducing Anna to a way of expressing care, love, and connection - hugging, touching!

It is beautiful, isn't it?

(Science also says about hugs' benefits:

1. Hugs reduce stress by showing your support

2. Hugs may boost your heart health

3. Hugs help you communicate with others)

Who will you hug today to show your care? [Not physically then virtually and by heart]