Turn Pain into Passion

Turn Pain into Passion

When Facebook first entered the Southeast Asian market ... very new ... a friend and I set up a business to support companies doing Facebook advertising.

I remember I was often invited to speak at events with 200 to 300 people - I had never spoken before in public with that big audience. Back at school, there were only twenty or thirty people in an event that I attended and I was more comfortable with that.

The number 200, 300 made me full of trepidation ... I told the organizers, "But I have never spoken in public like that ..." But then I also knew that if I didn’t go for it, I would lose the business opportunity.

My friend Johan said, “You have to go up and speak. I am prepared already, working in the background. You have to speak on behalf of the company - you are the face of the company".

So I accepted.

I remember the first time, everything went well, I was very happy.

But it was just an illusion, in fact I was happy but the organizers weren't happy - "You made too many mistakes while giving the presentation," the organizers told me after my presentation. They felt disappointed.

I walked back to my hotel room that day, I kept thinking – “why didn’t I practice this skill before, when I was a child. I practiced all skills like playing guitar or swimming – I don’t use these in real work but skills I need in the real work - speaking – I didn’t practice”.

After that self-talk, I didn’t do anything at the time. But then, I continued to go to other events – I got the same results, the organizers were not happy...

Then I decided to master my speaking skills, I went to speaking clubs like Toastmasters (and yes, that was where Johan and I met).

I asked myself – “How many people like me are out there – not practicing public speaking when we were kids?” Then we struggled when we grew up.

That was when I decided to start my company to help people with public speaking. It was a new thing where the market in Malaysia was not ready yet – around 5 years ago.

Decisions change lives

“I stepped out of the building where I work, on my last day at the company. I had a very strange feeling inside me. Unlike the previous times when I quit my jobs, at that time, I was not alone, not afraid. I didn't have a very clear plan of what I was going to do, I just knew I needed to quit the job in order to feel more of myself. Even though I felt some nervousness because I didn't know what I was going to do next, a rather interesting thought came to my mind at that time - well I was different, after all, I still have me. And I think that is the moment I begin to connect with myself, it opens the door to my journey in order to discover myself later”.

Ms. Huyen shared with me the moment she stepped through the door to open a world connected with her soul, passion, and mission to create the True Juice brand. More importantly, she shared the impact she has made with thousands of people in order to have a healthier lifestyle.

Tran Thanh Huyen (Huyen True Juice) graduated from Hanoi University and got a Master of Tourism Administration in the UK. She worked as a visiting lecturer at Hanoi University after returning to Vietnam and used to be an interpreter for the British Council. From 2015 until now, she is a co-founder, chairman, yoga and nutritionist of True Juice.

True Juice is considered to be the leading brand that offers cold juice from organic green vegetables to improve health. True Juice received investment and awards: Invested by Lotte Acceleator & Vietnam Silicon Valley Fund; the top 3 WISE Women Innovation Challenge the top impressive project attending the Women NextGen Entrepreneur event in Switzerland.

The book published by Ms. Huyen about juice and a healthy lifestyle in Vietnamese "Hello Juice" is one of the top bestsellers on the internet.

Ms. Huyen has built a community of tens of thousands of people who are inspired by her every day, and she also makes her mark with communities like Yoga Camp, JYogi, and Juicing Meetup!

You won't have what you don't have yet if you don't do what you haven't done yet.

“After returning from the UK to Vietnam, I worked for large corporations both in Vietnam and abroad. I had a stable job, good salary and a promising career. But after many years of work, I often wondered, "What am I doing this job for?" I found that, "If you do a job that you always ask yourself every day: What am I doing that job for, then obviously you are not passionate about it".

Throughout the struggles defining the purpose of her life, Ms Huyen felt she had to do something differently, otherwise she would always feel like she was in that vicious circle. And one day, that feeling was big enough, she made a decision to quit her job. Ms. Huyen shared with me the decision that had a great impact on her development direction.

Working in the office, much of it seated, with a lot of work pressure created questions lingering in her mind about lack of passion. She often felt tired and even obese. She tried all sorts of different methods, sometimes going dancing, exercising, and taking all kinds of herbal medicines, but as a result, she kept losing and gaining weight.

Only when it comes to juice and Yoga, can Huyen see her real change. Yoga focuses on the breath, but the breath affects the brain, so it creates changes both physically and in thinking. Unlike other methods, when looking at Yoga and juice, Ms. Huyen pursues it single-mindedly and even finds herself "addicted" to it. Also from the process of practicing Yoga and drinking juice, she became more connected with herself.

And as she felt this more and more, she realised that she had found something she could be more passionate about, in contrast to working at the office from which she decided to quit.

Ms. Huyen shared, “When I believe in my values more, the unpredictable challenges or events will not be too scary, and I need things that society often considers to be successful such as having a reputation or a good name. Age or title are not so important anymore.”

Reading this now, you will also be impressed how Huyen has made changes in her lifestyle that led to such life-changing decisions.

You will change your habits in 30 days?

In 30 DAYS YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR HABITS?

You ask, "Will I change my habits after 7 days?" Answer: It is possible!

You ask, "Will I change my habits after 21 days?" Answer: It is possible!

You ask "After 30 days will I change my habit?" The answer: Maybe!

You ask "After 90 days will I change the habit?" The answer: Maybe!

If you have ever participated in 7-day, 21-day or 30-day or 90-day challenges, you may discover after those days that your habits will change. Maybe they change, maybe they don't. They may change earlier than those days or later than those days. You may be wondering - how many days will it take to actually change my habits?

Did you know? The numbers above are not the numbers that make the change in your habits but what you need to change is your commitment - work that needs to be done even when you don't feel like doing it.

When I write a 30-day change in my book, the challenge I get most frequently is that after 30 days I will change. Yes, you will certainly change, but the magnitude of the change will be determined by your investment - in terms of your commitment, perseverance, and dedication.

Research results of Dr. Maltz1 in the 1950s showed that it took about 21 days for an action to become a habit. Research by Dr. Maltz was performed with plastic surgery patients and he found that these patients begin to get used to new faces after 21 days. The results of this study have been used by many people in the training of people and the effects have lasted in the long run. Another study published in 2012 by Benjamin Gardner, Phillippa Lally and colleagues at University College London found that: On average, it takes 66 days to establish a routine. The actual number ranges from 18 to 254 days depending on each specific case.

So what can we learn from these different outcomes? There is no one number that is absolutely true for everyone! There are many factors that determine the number: the habits that you want to change; the stage in your life you are at right now; you do not know what you want; you have goals but lack of motivation; you are motivated but lacking in effective working methods ... While there isn't a single number that holds true for everyone, the unchanging truth is that "action becomes a habit after a period of repetition" and "You are the result of habits".

To change a habit and keep a habit:

Make a change and find a reason big enough to change (it comes from within yourself. For example, you learn to run early every day because you want to take a running test - but why do you want to take a running test? Do you want to challenge yourself? Why do you want to challenge yourself? Because you want to feel like you can do it, to treasure yourself and, for sure, you will definitely be healthier!)

- Write on a sheet of paper and divide it into 2 columns: column 1 lists all you will lose if you don't change your habits and column 2 what you will get if you change the habit

- Use the 5W model to establish a new habit:

• What: What do you need to do?

• Why: Why are you doing it?

• When: When will you do?

• Where: Where did you do it?

• Who: Who gets you to do it the best you can? (because you want to do it yourself for that person, they may not know and they don't force you)

- Celebrate your accomplishments every day with that habit.

- Share and help others to change habits with you.

When you are persistent enough, the world can see

#happyhighperformancehabits #passionateperformance #joywithjen #jencoaching
Last night, as I was writing in my favourite coffee shop, I could see someone staring at my computer from my left side - through the glass. The cafe separates the outside and the inside with a transparent glass door - if one person sits inside and another person is outside separated by that glass door, it feels like they are sitting side by side.
I continued to write but still felt that gaze on my screen.
I turned to greet that gaze - it was a cute little girl about 10 years old. When she saw me turn around, she smiled and continued to scan with her face in all directions to see what I was writing on the computer.
I turned the computer to face the glass door so she could see better. She smiled - and ran away after her curiosity was satisfied when seeing what I wrote on the screen ...
It was one of the many times when I caught the eyes of little girls and boys - peering in different direction to see what I was working on --- it felt like being accompanied by them - by the outside world. It feels like, that when we are persistent in pursuing something, the outside world also provides support. Back in the UK, I still remember – some little boys even came up to me to ask me what I was writing; and one time there was a man in his 60s even who came up and encouraged me, saying, "I don't know what you're doing - but with your attention, I believe you will do well."
Have you ever had that feeling?
When am I persistent enough to pursue something? The outside world also gives its support?

KINDNESS becomes greater when we know how to ACCEPT it

#happyhighperformancehabits #passionateperformance #jencoaching

An Act of kindness and more importantly, HOW TO ACCEPT an act of KINDNESS.

What do you feel thankful for today? I felt thankful for an act of kindness from a stranger...to my very great surprise!

Yesterday I went to get my bike fixed after leaving the office. Both tyres required repairing. At the recommendation of the security lady in the office's building, I went to a shop in the street next to the place where I play badminton and it was the nearest place I could find that late in the day. And also it was raining!

I approached the mechanic and asked, "Could you help to fix both tyres and I can come back in 30 minutes after playing badminton?"

He greeted me with a smile and replied, "Sure!"

Thirty minutes later, I came back to get the bike so that I would be ready for a meeting later on. I found that he had finished fixing one tyre but I was in a hurry, so I asked him to let me pay for the work he had done so that I could take the bike.

He didn’t have change for my note of 200K VND (about $10 - the cost of fixing the bike was 50K VND).

He asked me to find somewhere near by to change the note but I saw that most shops were closed. (and I didn't feel like doing it anyway. Delete Ed.?)  Suddenly, a young guy, about 20 years old, walked by as if he was returning from his shopping - he had a bag of snacks and fruit. I thought maybe he would have some small notes.

So I asked him, "Do you have any change for this 200K VND, I would really appreciate it? This man doesn’t have any change."

He smiled and opened his wallet to check the smaller notes but he couldn’t find enough to change my 200K. He then asked me how much I had to pay.
I said "50K VND."

But before I could do anything, the young guy had already given the mechanic 50K and then he left rapidly. I was surprised and tried to call him back.
"Hi, can you give me your number so I can pay you via bank transfer?"

And at that moment, I realized that I had almost ruined the meaning of his act of kindness!

I can hear the voice of my mentor now; that sometimes being able to accept the kindness of others is a great way to appreciate their kindness...otherwise you may ruin it.

I tried to slow myself down to say thanks to the guy as he left, but by then he was already far away.

I went home smiling, thinking that there are so many acts of kindness out there...the guy didn’t know that his small note could be with me for ever - making my night special because of his kindness. And he was a total stranger.

I told the story to my mentor afterwards and he laughed so much at how I almost killed the kindness of the guy by not being able to acknowledge it with my heart. Sometimes a simple, “Thank you” is a great way to acknowledge the kindness of others!

It is beautiful, isn't it? Being kind to others and being treated kindly and also being able to accept the kindness of others!

P/S: The following picture was taken at a grateful moment when I was in TEDx event. Grateful moments are around us if we take sometimes to observe and feel them!

Do what we speak

Yesterday I watched a video of Tom – a successful entrepreneur and show host and I was triggered by his sharing – only speak it or make it real.

He was successful in his nutrition business and wanted to change his career to host a show reflecting the possibility of human being. At the beginning, he just talked about it and did not do much and he felt great about it. He felt really good at the beginning when talking about it and feeling it happening.

But the more he talked about it and not doing much with it in the reality, he started feeling empty. He realized he had to do things and create the reality as he talked. He had to live what he spoke. He had to breathe what he spoke. He started contacting one person by one person to do one show so another show, and his show started growing with more and more people being inspired. His dream became reality as he spoke and took action and learned from it.

Have you ever felt about it? You have a goal, you talk about it, you feel it great. You also know when you take action as much as you speak or even more, you create results you will reinforce your belief on what you speak, rather than feeling empty.

Speaking about our goal and dream can be a great starting point and a great daily conversation if we also go out and make it happen to reinforce what we speak.

Speak with belief and take action to create results can help us reinforce our belief.

Some of the takeaways for us:

- Be a learner, as long as you are a learner

- Be committed to make what you want to achieve happen by seeing challenges as opportunities to grow

- Do one thing to go closer to your goal

- Reinforce your action

- Be thankful

- Keep reflecting and do better the next time

Today the action is to put the online course out there. 

How to have optimal energy. People often asked why do I had that such energy, I used to think it was normal. However, only the time when I would see my energy is deluted I would know the reason. When I had a clear vision for myself, nothing would stop me and nothing would bother me, only positive energy. 

The power of deciding who you are. 

Practices for energy:

- Water 

- Attitude 

- Triggers

- Exercise

- Reasons/Results 

Turn Dissatisfaction into Grateful action

Turn Dissatisfaction into Grateful action
#happyhighperformancehabits #joywithjen

“It seems no matter what I do, it is not good enough for you even you never say it out loud”, Cio (a close friend of mine) told me one day to my surprise. I was surprised because he could feel that energy that I felt deep inside me even I never spoke out loud.
He would join the event to support me with logistic, he would make a smoothie for me after I came back from running, he would wait for me to play sports. I said thanks but deep down I always felt it was what anyone could do.
After a month experiencing that hidden energy from me, he told me what he felt – feeling that hidden energy.
And then I realized that dissatisfaction came from my dissatisfaction with myself. I used to be told that I couldn’t do anything so I always tried to be better everyday and I sometimes never wanted to stop. I found that the dissatisfaction came from my lack of self-respect and self-worth.
Have you ever felt that before? That no matter what somebody did, you did not feel satisfied? And you also never satisfied with what you did? The dissatisfaction with the outside normally came from the inside.
So how can we deal with it?
We want to see the differences of being satisfied but at the same time never stop developing with being dissatisfied in a miserable way and you have to be better.
We want to try to be better with the good state of mind, the abundant state of mind not the lack state of mind, because it means the more we have, the more we feel the lack.
We want to acknowledge that we can be better and take enough time to integrate what we have done to feel content
Habits to turn dissatisfaction into grateful action:
- Journaling at the end of the day – write down what you feel thankful for and feel it, taking time to feel it
- Gathering your team or your family once a week to talk about what everyone has done well
- Asking others one great thing that they did everyday

What is your favourite way to turn dissatisfaction into grateful action?
#jenvuhuong #lovelivegive

Create JOY

#happyhighperformancehabits #joywithjen
What do you feel today?
What do you feel on Monday, Tuesday…Sunday?
I reminisce the time I did a survey asking people about their usual feelings on each day of a week.
Here is what I discovered (the mojos refer to the feelings):
Monday 🙄
Tuesday 😏
…
Friday 😝
Saturday 😀😃
Sunday 🤗
The blissful feelings, the joy increases as the weekend comes because they do not have to do a job or study anymore.
Which means they had most days, which they were not happy with?
Do you find yourself sometimes in the same situation that you always wait till weekend comes to feel great and most days you don’t feel vibrant?
So how can we change things around and make every day great and we look back after each week and feel proud of ourselves that we have live fullest to our energy and potential?
Can we? How can we have more ecstatic days?
Yes, we can and here are some ways we can do to BRING THE JOY to our daily life!
Before talking about the ways, we can take a look at why we often do not feel super great each day? The reasons can be: we don’t really enjoy what we do, we don’t find the joy at work, bad things happen…Most reasons come from being unintentional in what we do which means we are controlled by things and circumstances. That is why we can be intentional in what we want to feel. We can SET OUR INTENTION to CREATE JOY.
So each day or before each event, we will ask ourselves, what can I do to bring the joy here?
Here are some ways:
- Dazzle someone
- Walk in nature
- Tell a joke
- Say Hi to a stranger
- Study a new thing
- Share your ideas to other people
- Talk with a close friend
How can you start off building the habit of bringing the joy intentionally? You can write the way to bring the joy in a paper and stick in front of your working desk or maybe on your wallet or creating alarms on your phone to remind you every day. When you do that every day, slowly it will become a habit and a part of you, you will do it automatically.
What is your favorite way to bring joy today?
#jenvuhuong #lovelivegive

SELF-LEARNING

"I used all the money of the training course to buy books", Craig smiled and told me his "teacher" - a stack of books about leadership and management on his book shelf.

"My companies sent me to 2 training courses related to Scrum, one went well and the other didn't...I ended up getting refunded for the course that didn't go well...and as the promise when getting refunded, I would go and master the topic.
I went on to buy four hundreds of pounds worth of books (around more than 100 Million VND)...I would choose the best practices and then went on applying them...I then reflected and then read more and then applied...Overtime, I mastered Scrum and started teaching others..."
Craig shared with me an experience made him appreciate the power of self-learning.
We can learn from real teachers or we can learn from life lessons of teachers through books or their work. And one step to get us to that self-learning mastery is our choice, our proactivity together with a purpose of the learning.

(Source: jenvuhuong.com/leadershipdevelopment

)
So, what will you learn today to master the topic that you are in?

SMILE, INTENTION & CONNECTION

SMILE
" I like your smile with the white big teeth so I will let you go ", the police said to Sub. (A habit of being friendly with a big smile can create a great power of persuasion?)

Sub came from the US. He has a contagious smile - if he walks in a meeting, people will feel the relaxing friendly energetic vibe from his smile and they will also smile.

One night, Sub got caught by police while driving his car to town. On that day, he didn't bring his driving license.

The police asked him to look for any other paper having Sub's face in it. Sub tried to look at different corners of the wallet and down to the very bottom of it - but he could not find one.

The police then asked Sub "Hold on a minute, I saw a paper with your face and with a very big smile".

Sub got confused for a second, but still smiled friendly as his nature, and then tried to go over one more time different items in his wallet...

"Yes, that one", the police pointed at an item in Sub’s wallet.

"Oh, this one", Sub surprised.

"This teeth checkup appointment card?", Sub got even more confused and he even started to laugh at himself because he didn’t believe that the card would be able to replace the driving license.

"Yes, exactly", the police said.

As the police said, he picked up the card and also started to laugh "Wow, you had a very white big teeth, indeed". While looking at the card, he looked at Sub and continued “Yes, it is you. The white big teeth man, you can go now”.

"Come again", Sub could not know what was happening.

"I like your smile with the white big teeth so I will let you go", the police said.

"Next time, bring your license and drive carefully to make sure you can protect your nice teeth", the police winked and left, leaving Sub not knowing what to say, just kept smiling.

Our community had great laughter when listening to this story of Sub. And yes, we could somehow understand the police's feeling when seeing the contagious smile of Sub "it is really nice, indeed". And the smile came from his caring, friendly soul.

Have you experienced a similar situation where you could see the magic power of a smile? Have you used the power of smile to connect with people?

Takeaways from the story:
- When you smile, you release the tension, you set an intention to see situations with a positive attitude
- You tend to take positive action
- You make others smile too
Do you know?
- “British researchers found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars; they also found that smiling can be as stimulating as receiving up to 16,000 Pounds Sterling in cash” (Forbes, 2011)

Choice + Consistency + Compound effect = Completed goals

"Your Choices (decisions) + Consistency (often seen in your Habits) + Compound Effect (Time) = Completed Goals.”

1. Choices
Your daily choices matter!
Choice is a door triggering your action leading to the results we get. For example, your everyday choice of what to eat, what to drink influences your health. If you choose to eat apples instead of candy, you give your body healthy inputs resulting in better health of you. If you choose to use a staircase instead of the elevator, you consume more kcal resulting in a healthier body or losing weight.

2. Consistency
What you consistently do every day decide who you become. When you make a choice, you take action. If you consistently make a good choice and take positive actions, it becomes a habit then influences the results you get.

If you keep making the choice of eating candy instead of apples, you eat the chocolates and it becomes a habit resulting in your unhealthy body.
If you make a choice to practice a speech every day, you finish 7 speeches after 1 week, 365 speeches after a year; you master your speaking journey.

3. Compound effect - Choice
When to start staying consistent in building a habit?
The earlier you start, the better it is!
Imagine if you start doing public speaking since you were 20 years old, every day you give a speech. When you are 30 years old, you have given 3650 speeches. But if you start giving speech only when you are 30 years old, you may need to catch up the person who starts a decade before you.
(But it is never late as long as you make a decision and take action most importantly stay consistent).

What is one goal that you will achieve this year and that you will work on it with a daily choice, consistent action!

Great week ahead my friends!

Let's celebrate

LET’S CELEBRATE
“Hi, join me to celebrate me for living 3 more months”!

What do you feel when reading the text – sounds scary - how a person can celebrate his or her death? But at the same time, it has a positive vibe - why is not when it cannot be different?
Each moment we have is a chance to celebrate and to feel that way, we will live with our fullest.

This is the text that Brian sent to his friends when knowing his cancer give him 3 months left to live. He had lived fully and when he knew he couldn’t change that truth – he wanted to make the best out of his remaining time.

This is a true story told by mentor when teaching me about the art of celebration because I avoided to celebrate myself, my birthday or my graduation ceremony or what I have done.
On the similar same days, I heard a story of a 99-year old man who was strong and sporty and he passed away while surfing – such a healthy state when leaving this planet.

I admired them. I admired their celebration when facing one of the biggest fears of human being – DEATH. They lived fully – they also died fully.
I myself feel thankful to be saved from deaths different times – thanks to my siblings – I almost got kidnapped, almost died from a serious accident which I lost one litter of blood, almost drowning in the river…
And for me, living until now is a GRATITUDE – thank you, life!

After the time hearing the story of Brian and the 99-year old man, and thinking back to my gratitude of being alive – I shifted my mindset in celebration. And I would love you join me to do so. The first time in my life, I went to my celebration for my second master to receive my honored award – I skipped it when I was at university and my first master - I thought I was not deserved to celebrate yet. The first time in my life, I asked my friends to come to my house for my birthday party which I tried to avoid before – I loved to organize party for others but when it came to me – I felt hesitated – I didn’t avoided others care much about me.

But I changed! Will you? if you have not celebrated yourself enough?

I wanted to celebrate, every little thing, and start from using my birthday as a chance to borrow your time to join me – to be together!
SO, YOU ARE INVITED – TO JOIN ME TODAY – IN MY BIRTHDAY. I use this as a chance for me to have you celebrate your life and we will do it together.

And yes, everyday is a celebration for us – thanks to what we have gone through. And if we together celebrate, the happiness is multiplied!

I LOVE YOU!
Thank for beliving in me, in you and in the greatness that we can strive for everyday!
I am thankful to have you all to be in my journey and allow me to share and to grow together

Love you!
Jen,

One Grape and One habit - DO WHATEVER IT TAKES

Chạm dừng chân trong chuyến đi du lịch hitchhiking (xuất phát từ Tây Ban Nha, sang Pháp, Đức) của tôi hôm đó là tại Prague, Czech Republic. Tôi đến Prague lúc 5 giờ chiều, trời nhá nhem tối. Sau nửa ngày đi xe tôi cảm thấy đói nên đã vào một supermarket để mua đồ ăn. Bước chân vào supermarket, tôi đi thẳng đến chỗ khu vực bày hoa quả để mua nho – món sở trường của tôi khi sống ở châu Âu – rẻ, ngon, sạch (Việt Nam nhập khẩu những nho này nên ở Việt Nam sẽ đắt hơn và không còn tươi sạch như ở châu Âu).

Wow, có nhiều loại nho khác nhau, quả dài, ngon mọng, theo thói quen khi sống ở Tây Ban Nha (tôi học ở Tây Ban Nha và đi hitchhiking vào dịp hè), có thể là thói quen bắt đầu từ khi sống ở Việt Nam, tôi thử một quả sau đó nhặt 1 chùm đi ra cân để mua.

Từ lúc đi ra cân đến lúc chuẩn bị đi ra đến chỗ thu ngân, tôi cảm giác có một ánh mắt chằm chằm nhìn tôi. Một phần trong tôi tự nhủ, có thể là “anh chàng” nào đang nhìn cô gái đến từ châu Á đây – tôi tự cười mình rồi gạt phắt ý nghĩ đó đi – tiếp tục ra quầy thu ngân.

“Hey, đứng lại cô bé”, tôi nghe thấy một giọng rất nghiêm nghị, giọng của một người đàn ông, trong bộ quần áo bảo vệ – chính là người đã chằm chằm nhìn tôi.

“Chào anh, anh khỏe chứ”, tôi đáp lại theo thói quen.

“Cô bé biết mình đã làm gì chứ?”, người đàn ông tiến gần đến tôi và hỏi.

“Tôi nhặt nho và cân nho…”, nói đến đó tôi cảm nhận được người đàn ông muốn nói đến việc tôi ăn thử một quả nho…tôi chững lại.

“Cô bé ăn thử nho. Điều cấm kỵ ở đây”, người đàn ông nghiêm túc.

“Tôi xin lỗi. Tôi đã vô ý. Tôi đã thử và rồi mua nó…”, tôi thốt lên lời theo phản xạ nhưng cảm thấy có lỗi và lo lắng.

“Cô bé vào đây”, người đàn ông nói xong rồi bảo tôi đi đến khu vực an ninh.

Đứa trẻ non dại, ngây ngô trong tôi trỗi dậy, tôi tự thấy mình có lỗi và dằn vặt mình, và có một cảm giác là mọi chuyện đang xấu đi…

Khi bạn tập trung vào ý nghĩ tiêu cực sợ hãi, bạn càng bị nhấn chìm vào nó…

Người đàn ông mở cửa phòng an ninh, kéo ghế cho tôi ngồi và rất điềm tĩnh nói

“Cô bé có hai lựa chọn:…”

(….câu chuyện được tiếp tục vào tối nay giờ Việt Nam …)

--

A GRAPE AND A HABIT – DO WHATEVER IT TAKES

My stop on my hitchhiking trip started from Spain that day was in Prague, Czech Republic. I arrived in Prague at 5 pm. After half a day of driving, I was hungry so I went to a supermarket to buy food. Walking into the supermarket, I went straight to the stack of fruits to buy grapes - my favorite fruit while living in Europe – cheap, fresh and healthy (I was born in Vietnam, and Vietnam often imports western grapes so these grapes in Vietnam are not fresh and expensive).

Wow, there are many different types of grapes, long, delicious, as a habit when buying grapes while living in Spain (maybe started from living in Vietnam), I tried one grape, wow, delicious, then picked a bunch to weight them to buy.

From the moment I weighted the grapes to the time I was about to go out to the cashier, I felt a stare on me. Part of naughty me told myself, maybe a European "guy" was looking at a cute Asian girl - I laughed at myself and dismissed that thought - going to the cashier.

"Hey, stop the little girl", I heard a very serious voice, the voice of a man – in the security uniform- the same person who was staring at me.

"Hello, how are you," I replied in a habit when greeting people.

"Are you aware of what you just did just now?", The man came next to me and asked.

"I picked up the grapes and weighed the grapes ...", I couldn’t utter another words – as I felt the man wanted to talk about me trying a grape ...

“You tried a grape. Follow me, ”the man said seriously.

"I'm sorry. I was unintentional. I tried it to know the taste to buy it ... ”, I reflexively spoke but felt guilty and worried.

"Just follow me," the man said, and directed me to the security box.

The young, innocent child inside me rose, I found myself guilty and tormented myself, and had a feeling that things were getting worse ...

When you focus on the negative thoughts or anxiety or fears, the more you sunk into it ...

The man opened the door to the security room, pulled a chair for me to sit on, and calmly spoke

"You have two options: ..."

(... The story continues on tonight - Vietnam time ...)

The power of Perspective

THE POWER OF MEANING - PERSPECTIVE
[English below]
Có hai nhân viên bán giày được công ty cử đến một ngôi làng xa xôi ở Châu Phi. Khi đến nơi, một người gửi tin nhắn về công ty "Không ai ở đây mang giày; tôi sẽ rời đi khỏi đây." Nhân viên bán hàng khác gửi tin nhắn: "Không ai ở đây mang giày; hãy gửi hàng tồn kho đến đây!"
Cùng là một sự việc, cách nhìn của hai người khác nhau dẫn đến hành động khác nhau. Có những tình huống bạn không thể thay đổi được, nhưng bạn luôn có thể thay đổi cách nhìn với tình huống đó. Cách nhìn thay đổi, hành động thay đổi.
Góc buổi tối:
Hãy nghĩ lại cảm xúc tiêu cực thường xuất hiện mỗi khi bạn gặp một sự kiện không mong muốn nào đó, ví dụ như tức giận khi gặp tắc đường. Hãy viết ra một cách ứng xử khác mà bạn thấy sẽ có tác dụng tích cực hơn trong bối cảnh đó.
Một bối cảnh mà tôi muốn ứng xử tích cực hơn là:
................................................................................
Một điều tôi học được từ bối cảnh đó là:
................................................................................
Một ý nghĩa khác, tích cực hơn mà tôi có thể trao cho bối cảnh đó là: ................................................................................
Một việc tích cực tôi có thể làm để phát huy ý nghĩa tích cực đó là: ...................................................................................

p/s: ảnh từ năm 2019 chụp tại Laos cùng Kim, Nok, Remus, Ei thank u
.............
Two shoe salesmen whose company sends them to a remote village in Africa. Upon arrival, one sends home a message saying, "No one here wears shoes; will return shortly." The other salesman sends this message: "No one here wears shoes; send inventory! The same situation, their different perspectives lead to different actions. There are situations that you cannot change, but you can always change the way you look at them. When the perspective changes, the action changes.
Reflection corner:
Think back to the negative emotions that often occur when you encounter an unexpected event, such as being angry at a traffic jam. Write down another meaning to give to that situation leading to more positive actions.
A situation in which I want to behave more positively is:
.................................................. ..............................
One thing I can learn from that situation is:
.................................................. ..............................
Another positive meaning I can give to that situation is: ............................... .................................................
One positive action I can do to reinforce the positive meaning is................................ ................................................

p/s: pic from an event in Laos 2019 thanks to Ei Remus Nok and Kim

#30NGAYTHAYDOITHOIQUEN #JENVUHUONG
jenvuhuong.com/30ngaythaydoithoiquen

Hi and Bye "Chaos"

Yesterday, a close friend of mine left Vietnam to go back to his hometown. My mentor is one of the toughest people I have ever met. He truly cares about humility and the planet. He has experienced incredible moments,being attacked by wild tigers or lions in the forests or wild elephants in African desserts. Death didn’t seem to scare him. Nor did the recent chaos in the world.

However,…

This recent month, everything came at once - he got sick, his daughters felt more and more worried, his mum suffered an anxiety attack, all of his projects came to a standstill because his business partners were shut down. Every day his family would call him, asking him to return home, expressing their fear because of the chaos.

Worried, anxious, scared, … experiencing mixed feelings…week after week…I could notice his concern for some days due to all of the things came up…

It seemed these emotions affected him more profoundly than his previous encounters with death…I was worried but I also had a strong conviction, that he would figure it out…because he did it many times in the past!

And he did!

He took all of these in peace.

He figured out his work, he checked up his health. He went back home in the US to take care of his mum. Piece by piece …everything was figured out …

He already figured out many difficult things before – and even death! So he will this time and he is doing it!

So DO YOU! You have gone through many challenges to be here today, so you will this time.

If you are reading this, maybe you have experienced some  similar feelings or you haven’t personally, but you may see people in all over the world experience such feelings.– and the truth is, we have gone through many other challenges before – and we will this time.

SITUATION DOES NOT DEFINE US BUT REVEAL WHO WE ARE!

Here are some ideas to keep us strong to take steps forward instead of backward:

1.       See thingss as they are, not worse than they are

2.       Go through things by re-defining your purpose – what matters to you and why do you do what you do

3.       Evaluate your current performance in relation with achieving your goal – what works and what doesn’t

4.       Create values that are suitable for consumers to consume in this moment in time

5.       Work with others, collaboration can move things further

If we make the “virus” of being disciplined at taking care of ourselves and supporting others, we will together overcome this real virus.

Have a great week ahead my friends!

Yours,

Jen,

The power of GRATITUDE

Gratitude
[Thói quen giúp ngủ ngon làm việc hiệu quả, thúc đẩy mối quan hệ tích cực]
What do you feel thankful for today?

One day, in our Hanoi Entrepreneur Community, a dear friend asked me about my practice on gratitude, it would be one of my favorite questions of all time because gratitude changed me from a bitter kid to become a cheerful kid and brought me back from different down moments in life.

WHY gratitude can change us?
The fundamental reason can be gratitude shifts our focus. When you feel thankful, your focus follows so your energy goes to that direction, leaving behind the negativity.

WHAT are the daily practices for gratitude?
To think about what do you feel grateful for, it can be at a conscious level of before evening or after waking up or it can be an instant moment of reflection after each event!

And yes, after that gratitude feeling in the morning, it will be great to bring that energy to complete the first important project to create results to reinforce our habits of being grateful!

hank for reading and practicing gratitude with me my friends! You are my gratitude!
#jenvuhuong #lovelivegive #gratitude #30ngaythaydoithoiquen

p/s: GRATITUDE IMPACT proven by research:
0. Grateful people sleep better
According to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, you may sleep better and longer by spending 15 minutes to write down what do you feel thankful for before bed
1. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships
According to a 2014 study published in Emotion, thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship
2. Gratitude improves physical health
According to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences, grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health
3. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression
According to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky, participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback

Your story matters

When I was in the UK, every month I went to a story telling event where most people were native speakers.

As a little girl coming from the countryside of Vietnam, telling a story in English language in front of around 200 people made my stomach moving ...I could hear my little voice "people would not understand you..." Have you ever felt that before? You wanted to speak up and that voice came up...

But then I also had a strong feeling that "my message is important enough for me to share with others and that I was inspired by people who shared their stories and someone could also be inspired by my stories"...

That desire of sharing won the little voice and I could not be more thankful that after my sharing, people would come and say they believed in themselves more thanks to my story.

I noticed there was an uncle at the age of more than 60, always came to the event. I often saw him look at me speaking, not having any emotion or reaction - it was link blank. I heard a voice telling me "he would not feel interested in stories of a little kid coming from the countryside like me". Have you ever heard a voice like, just because of the reaction on someone's face?

Until one day, after my story about how did I overcome my own doubts when changing my career, he came to me and said "you rock, little girl. I often tell your stories to my grandchildren, you inspire them! Thank you".

I was touched by what he said!

I realized we sometimes caught up by the delusion of our own doubts, making us assume things and distract a part of our energy on thinking on being judged.

And if we fully focused on just sharing, serving for good - we would be free from all these doubts and fear, and fully sink into the message.

As I have learned a lot about myself and others through telling stories and listening to stories, I created Story Jam to welcome you come to share your stories or listen to others' stories.

It is a part of the journey of understanding more about you and connecting with others. You have a chance to speak up, exercising your confidence, competence, creativity, communication, collaboration, commitment and compassion (7Cs of Cspeaking gym jenvuhuong.com/cspeakinggym).

Cannot wait to hear your stories and your confidence you shine!

Tomorrow, you will come? https://www.facebook.com/events/512904679367627/
Talk soon,

Jen,

Hugs, touch and Transformation

"What are you doing? Something happens to you?", Anna removed Brian's hands off her hands.
Brian told me the first reaction of his mother when he touched her hands after many years of not meeting each other.
His mum, Anna had lived by herself for long and she lived in a violent family in which people would not express the feelings for each other by hugging or touching.
Seeing Anna's reaction but knowing deep down, she would feel some connection from his touch, Brian told himself to slowly introduce touching and hugging to his mum.
Each day, later on, he would gently touch her, on shoulders or sometimes on the back. Some first weeks, mum kept telling him "what matters to you?" Brian just smiled.
Week by week, Anna started getting used to the touching of Brian, instead of quickly resisting, she kept silent.
After almost a year, Anna proactively touched and hugged Brian. She would demand Brian hug her whenever he left the house or seeing her. She also started being more open to hug others. She became happier and it had a lot to do with the patience of Brian when introducing Anna to a way of expressing care, love, and connection - hugging, touching!

It is beautiful, isn't it?
(Science also says about hugs' benefits:
1. Hugs reduce stress by showing your support
2. Hugs may boost your heart health
3. Hugs help you communicate with others)

Who will you hug today to show your care?

Comparing to developing

On
Comparing
[So sánh] [Tiếng Việt ở dưới]

Question: How to not let comparing others make you feel bad?

My sharing:
The first thing is to acknowledge this question comes from a deeper desire – the desire of being emotional freedom.

Secondly, comparing is an automatic mechanism of us to help us survive when living with each other. Hence, we want to acknowledge all the feelings coming from comparing but not letting these feelings lead to disempowering afterward action…

Thirdly, using principles: comparing that empowers us to believe more in what can we do, to take bolder action to better ourselves then it is a healthy comparison; comparing that makes us feel less of ourselves then it is not a healthy comparison.

If we have feelings such as ‘We are not good as others’, it means we are doubtful about ourselves rather it is a truth. We want to re-center to be back to work on ourselves. Spend 100% on developing and serving! (The bird can fly high when each of them focuses on flying)

And what we feel when comparing has a lot to do what do we see ourselves, if we believe in ourselves and we believe in others, we feel content/excited for others rather than missing.

Here are some practices we can try to not let comparing feelings disempower us:
- Acknowledge the feelings
- Ask ourselves what can we learn from others
- Recenter, re-affirm our core values
- Focus on what we can do better

I believe that you are great!
Jen,
...
So sánh

Câu hỏi: Làm thế nào để không để việc so sánh với người khác tạo ảnh hưởng xấu?

Chia sẻ của tôi:
Điều đầu tiên là thừa nhận câu hỏi trên xuất phát từ một mong muốn sâu sắc hơn - mong muốn được tự do về cảm xúc.

Thứ hai, so sánh là một cơ chế tự động của chúng ta để giúp chúng tôi tồn tại. Do đó, chúng ta thừa nhận tất cả những cảm xúc đến từ việc so sánh nhưng KHÔNG để những cảm xúc này dẫn đến hành động không xuất phát từ con người tốt nhất của chúng ta (bạn có thể sử dụng nguyên tắc sau)

Thứ ba, sử dụng nguyên tắc: việc so sánh cho phép chúng ta tin tưởng hơn vào những gì chúng ta có thể làm, để có hành động táo bạo hơn để cải thiện bản thân thì đó là một so sánh lành mạnh; việc so sánh làm cho chúng ta cảm thấy tự ti hơn về bản thân mình hoặc ghen tị thì đó không phải là một so sánh lành mạnh.

Nếu chúng ta có những cảm xúc như "Chúng ta không tốt như những người khác", điều đó có nghĩa là chúng ta nghi ngờ về bản thân mình - và việc chúng ta không tốt không hẳn là một sự thật. Lúc đó, chúng ta cần tái trung tâm để trở lại làm tốt mình hơn. Dùng 100% năng lượng cho việc chúng ta có thể làm tốt hơn.

Những gì chúng ta cảm thấy khi so sánh có thể đến từ chính những gì chúng ta cảm thấy về chính mình (và khoảnh khắc chúng ta nhìn thấy người khác đã kích hoạt cách chúng ta nhìn chúng ta), nếu chúng ta tin vào chính mình và chúng ta tin vào người khác, chúng ta cảm thấy hài lòng/ngưỡng mộ hơn là thiếu khi so sánh.

Dưới đây là một số thói quen giúp chúng ta không để so sánh cảm xúc làm chúng ta thất vọng:
- Công nhận cảm xúc xuất hiện khi so sánh
- Tự hỏi bản thân chúng ta có thể học được gì từ người khác
- Tái tập trung, khẳng định lại giá trị cốt lõi của chúng tôi
- Tập trung vào những gì chúng ta có thể làm tốt hơn

Tin vào chính bạn! Phát triển chính bạn và tất cả chúng ta cùng phát triển!

Jen,

Never limit yourself (JAJ2020)

[Hỏi Jen -JAJ]

In 2020, what will you double down on?

I will double down on sharing! I will share more of the questions that I get from people and answer them so maybe if you are on the same journey, you can get some other perspectives.

[Trong năm 2020, bạn sẽ nhân đôi điều gì? Mình sẽ nhân đôi việc chia sẻ các câu hỏi các bạn nhắn tin hỏi mình để có thể những bạn có cùng câu hỏi sẽ có thêm cách nhìn]

Question:

"I am a person who loves to contribute to society and the community. When someone asks me about my expected salary, I said X million salary and people think it is too much for community work. I don't know whether my thinking is too practical or too dreaming but I want to have a higher salary compared to the average salary because I want to then help people in a more sustainable way"

Jen's sharing: It is great when you know what do you love to do - your drives - contribution (to society and community).

It is also great that you dare to define your expected salary (it somehow reflects how confident you feel about the values you can add to others).

Which means the 2 topics do not conflict with each other. One is your human drive, and the other is how you reflect values you can add through the expected salary. I observe and see people normally underestimate their value rather than over-estimate (which means the salary you expect may not even reflect the true value you can add, maybe it can be higher).

Another thing is "who are others? the people told you to want a high salary? maybe it came from someone but after all - coming from YOU - so yes, it reflects your belief about your self worth!

So I would ask the following questions to clear out all the doubts:

- I know what I truly want? contributing to the community? great, how would I do it is...

and I do it by...

- I believe in my worth, and the salary I expect is...

and It reflects the values I can add to wherever I work ...

...

Câu hỏi:

Em có 1 tình huống khó xử: em là một người thích làm một công việc đóng góp cho cộng đồng và xã hội. Khi được hỏi về mức lương mong muốn em có chia sẻ là X triệu VND. Mọi người coi là số tiền đó không hợp lý vì khi làm 1 công việc liên quan đến cộng đồng thì cần nhận lương thấp. Em có mơ mộng hay thực thục dụng quá không chị?

Chia sẻ từ Jen:

Chúc mừng bạn vì bạn đã xác định được điều mình muốn làm : đóng góp cho cộng đồng và xã hội.

Chúc mừng bạn cũng đã xác định được mức lương mình mong muốn (một phần nào đó, nó phản ánh niềm tin của bạn vào giá trị bạn có thể cho đi khi bạn làm 1 công việc nào đó)

Và 2 chủ đề này không mâu thuẫn nhau. Một là động lực/điều bạn coi trọng trong cuộc sống và Một là một con số phản ánh định giá về giá trị bạn có thể cho đi khi đi làm 1 việc nào đó.

(thường mình thấy mọi người định giá giá trị họ có thể cho đi ít hơn so với giá trị thực sự họ có thể cho đi, nên bạn thậm chí có thể tăng con số mức lương bạn xứng đáng nếu giá trị bạn cho đi cao hơn thế)

Một góc cạnh nữa là - bạn có thấy mọi người đánh giá về việc bạn muốn lương quá cao - một trong những người này có thể là "chính bạn" nói với bạn, và một phần nó phản ánh có thể bạn đang phần nào vẫn hoài nghi về giá trị bạn có thể cho đi.

Vậy là bạn có thể hỏi mình:

- Tôi thực sự biết tôi muốn gì? điều tôi coi trọng là được đóng góp cho cộng đồng? tuyệt vời, tôi làm việc đó bằng cách...

- Tôi tin vào giá trị của tôi, mức lương tôi mong muốn là...

và những giá trị tôi cho đi tương xứng với mức lương đo là...

Mình sẽ đăng bài chia sẻ video qua kênh youtube mới:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG2CJV3wUx62nnvZyepImfg