A story I shared some years ago. Each time I come back to it, I see another layer of beauty — this time, about learning to love and care in a way that feels safe for another person to receive.
#RebirthLeadership #RebirthLove #JenCoaching
“What are you doing? Did something happen to you?”
Anna immediately removed Brian’s hands from hers.
Brian once told me about meeting his mother again after they had spent many years apart.
Anna had lived alone for a long time. She came from a violent family where people didn’t normally express love through hugs or touch.
So when Brian touched her hands, her first response was to resist.
But Brian didn’t stop loving her.
And importantly, he didn’t force her to receive love in his way either.
He started slowly.
A gentle touch on her shoulder.
Sometimes her back.
For the first few weeks, she kept asking him:
“What is wrong with you?”
Brian just smiled.
Week by week, something changed.
She stopped immediately pushing him away.
Then she became quiet.
Then, almost a year later, Anna began touching Brian herself.
She started hugging him.
Eventually, she would even ask for a hug whenever he came home or before he left.
And slowly, she became more open to hugging other people too. ❤️
When I shared this story years ago, I wanted to share the beauty of hugs, connection and transformation.
Reading it again in 2026, I see another beauty:
Sometimes what looks like rejection may simply be a human being protecting the way they have learned to feel safe.
And love doesn’t always need to break that protection.
Perhaps love can simply stay nearby.
Patiently.
Without demanding:
Why don’t you receive what I am giving you?
Why don’t you care like I care?
Why aren’t you changing yet?
Brian didn’t need his mother to hug him back immediately.
He kept offering her a different experience of relationship.
And over time, something that once felt unfamiliar became safe enough for Anna to choose for herself.
This makes me reflect on leadership and caring for our teams, too.
We sometimes care for people in the way we believe caring should look.
We give advice.
We check in.
We encourage.
We challenge.
We offer opportunities.
We want them to grow.
And sometimes, when they don’t respond as we expect, we may wonder:
Why don’t they appreciate it?
Why don’t they open up?
Why don’t they take the opportunity?
But perhaps caring leadership asks another question:
Not only, “How much do I care?”
But, “Does this person feel safe receiving my care?”
One team member may need encouragement.
Another needs space.
One needs us to ask questions.
Another needs us simply to listen.
One feels cared for when we challenge them to become more.
Another first needs to know:
“You don’t have to prove anything to belong here.”
Maybe this is part of Rebirth Leadership too.
Not changing people.
Not rescuing them.
Not making them receive our good intentions.
But learning each other.
Creating enough safety, consistency and freedom for another human being to discover their own next possibility.
And perhaps transformation happens on both sides.
Anna learned that tenderness could be safe.
Brian learned that love could be patient.
Maybe our team members grow.
And maybe, in learning how to truly care for them, we grow into different leaders too.
❤️ OUR REFLECTION CORNER
Who around you might need your care today?
And instead of only asking:
“What can I give them?”
perhaps ask:
“What form of care can this person receive right now?”
A hug.
A message.
A question.
A challenge.
Some space.
Your trust.
Your presence.
Or simply:
“I am here. You can be yourself with me.”
Perhaps leadership, like love, is not only about giving more.
It is also about learning how to love people differently. ❤️
#RebirthLeadership #RebirthLove #JenCoaching #HumanConnection #Leadership #Transformation #CaringLeadership
