#rebirthleadership #jencoaching
Sometimes life, or the universe, co-creates the conditions for us to see something differently.
After a few meetings and events this week, I noticed parts of me wanting to be right, especially when hearing feedback—even when, underneath it all, we actually wanted the same result. Then two old stories from imperial China appeared in my video feed.
In the first story, during the Ming dynasty, a powerful minister was warned by a protégé he had once promoted: “One person's capability is limited. If the people around you cannot speak, contribute and stand with you, eventually even your own effort will be exhausted.”
The minister became furious. The protégé continued pressing the point and eventually formally challenged his own teacher. He was punished and sent into exile.
The minister remained extremely powerful. Yet shortly after his death, many who had stayed silent began speaking against him. His honours were stripped, his property confiscated, and his family suffered.
People around a leader may stay silent long before the consequences of that silence become visible.
Both were serving something they believed mattered. One was right, and lost. The other won the argument, and lost anyway.
Then came another story, with another way.
During the Tang dynasty, after a rebellion had been defeated, the emperor ordered the captured rebel commanders executed.
The general responsible strongly disagreed. He did not abandon his principle. But he also did not begin with: “You are wrong.”
Instead, he spoke to the result the emperor cared about: if the court became known for killing those who had surrendered, others would have more reason to resist—and the country would become harder to govern.
Same conviction. Another way of bringing it into the room.
Many lives were spared. Earlier, the general had even made surrendered soldiers his own guards. The people of the region were moved, and no further rebellion followed.
The two stories stayed with me because they reflected something I keep meeting in leadership.
We may find ourselves in both seats: the one pressing the point, and the one struggling to hear it.
We can walk into a meeting genuinely wanting the best outcome. We see what is missing, what could be stronger, what we might have done differently.
And somewhere inside that good intention, another part can appear: the part that wants to be right.
I see that part. Many leaders may recognise it too. It sees quickly. It cares deeply about quality. It has helped us lead, build, protect standards and move difficult things forward.
As we evolve, it does not need to disappear. And other parts of us can stand beside it too.
The one who can listen a little longer. The one who can stay curious when feedback touches something sensitive. The one who can make room for another person's way.
The one who can ask:
What result are we actually trying to create together?
Sometimes speaking clearly serves that result. Sometimes challenging does. Sometimes holding the standard. Sometimes waiting does. And sometimes the stronger move is not taking over.
We may know what we would do. And another question can sit beside that knowing:
“What would help the people here bring their best?”
The Leader in us can still be powerful without always being the person with the answer.
There is also power in creating enough space, clarity and trust for better answers to emerge from the whole.
..
In our next meeting, we can notice.
Can we listen one moment longer before responding?
When someone brings a problem: “What do you recommend?”
When we disagree: “What result are we trying to create together?”
When someone else is leading: Can we give their leadership room?
And when we feel sure we are right—even before reality has had the chance to prove it:
Does winning this point help us create the best result?
Not every misunderstanding needs another explanation.
Not every imperfect decision needs our intervention.
Not everything we can improve needs to become ours.
Sometimes what we contribute most is not another answer, but the conditions for other people to become stronger too.
From winning the point to creating the conditions.
🌿Our Reflection Corner:
This week, What conditions do we need for the best result to emerge?
We can speak. We can ask. We can listen. We can wait.
And notice what each moment is asking from us.
Love and gratitude from Jen ❤️
#1000soulsinme #jenvuhuong #sundayrebirth #soulevolution #consciousleadership
