SEE the BEAUTY in UNEXPECTED THINGS

KINDNESS

SEE the BEAUTY in UNEXPECTED THINGS

Yesterday I choked on a fishbone. It was something that I never thought would happen, because I learned to eat fish from a young age.

Since childhood, I was really close to my brother. We often went fishing together and only ate fish. I was trained in the habit of eating fish, even though the bones are small, I never got choked by the bones. And if there was a time when I swallowed a bone, then after swallowing the rice, the bones would also float out. I always felt confident that I would never get choked by fish bones.

But yesterday, unexpectedly I got choked by a fish bone. I drank a lot of water, the bone did not float out. I was in pain.

I thought it would be better after a night’s sleep. This morning, I woke up, I felt even more pain. I went running around the lake as on other days, but I also felt the pain anytime I breathed in. I stopped by the place where I used to buy lemons. I told the shop's owner about the bone. She kindly asked me if I needed any help and told me, “Take a vitamin C tablet, let the bone dissolve.” Then she also showed me where to go to take the bone out if that trick did not work.

The saleswoman next door heard the story and told me to, “Roll the sticky rice ball and swallow it to see if the bones would float out.” She said, “If it doesn't work, go pick it up immediately, avoid it for a long time, it will turn into damage to your throat”.

I felt a great feeling, being cared for by strangers. When the unexpected happens, we witness the beauty – everyone's kindness.

None of these tricks helped the bone drift into the throat. I decided to go and get medical treatment. Most places were closed. I went to the hospital where I certainly didn't expect to be.

Every weekend, I used to play badminton and I passed by Thu Cuc hospital, a hospital with good service, but because it's a hospital, seeing people queuing and wearing protective suits, I say to myself – I don't want to go in. When I was a kid, being hospitalized in an accident and seeing my loved ones hospitalized, made me dislike hospitals - I told myself in my head.

This time, I really had to go to a place which I think I don't like.

I went in, got tested for Covid-19, and then went to see the doctor, everything went quickly and smoothly.

I walked into the room, the doctor asked in a kindly voice, “How do you feel? What fish did you eat, and after you choked, where does it hurt?”

I recounted how I never thought I would choke on a bone, and here I am.

The doctor smiled gently, “With everything in life, we get a chance to try it one time, don't we?”

Gently, thoughtfully, the fishbone was slowly removed.

While waiting for the doctor to complete the file, I sat down on my computer to write this story, with relief in my heart. There are things that are not as 'nice' as we like to think. And there are unexpected things that happen. But, if we are in an accepting and grateful attitude, we can experience meaningful things.

Have a wonderful week, not matter what unexpected things happen, you can choose to witness beauty.

#day23 #extraordinary2022withjen #happyhighperformancehabits #jencoaching


Generate the Joy

We don't have JOY automatically, but we can build a habit to generate JOY automatically.

We can build a habit of generating joy by asking 'What is the one way I can generate joy today'.

We got the answers of the above question from our personal development community members:

- Be brave to follow your dream, it is a joy

- Find the joy in the dangerous experiences by seeing it differently

- Doing something different from what you normally do and empty your mind to just be in the present

- Find the Joy in an unexpected experience when you look back and give it this meaning

- Find the joy by seeing different colours, different aspects of life

- Find the joy by treasure what you have

- Find joy by playing with children because they are always themselves and they can make you surprise by their creativity

- Find the Joy in PEACE

- Find the joy by learning from others’ stories of joy

What is your way to generate Joy today?

Hugs Touch and Transformation

[If you cannot do a hug physically then virtually]

[Thói quen sống vui làm việc hiệu quả cao: Ôm, ôm thôi (không ôm bằng cơ thể thì gửi một cái ôm trực tuyến )]

"What are you doing? Something happens to you?", Anna removed Brian's hands off her hands.

Brian told me the first reaction of his mother when he touched her hands after many years of not meeting each other.

His mum, Anna had lived by herself for long and she lived in a violent family in which people would not express the feelings for each other by hugging or touching.

Seeing Anna's reaction but knowing deep down, she would feel some connection from his touch, Brian told himself to slowly introduce touching and hugging to his mum.

Each day, later on, he would gently touch her, on shoulders or sometimes on the back. Some first weeks, mum kept telling him "what matters to you?" Brian just smiled.

Week by week, Anna started getting used to the touching of Brian, instead of quickly resisting, she kept silent.

After almost a year, Anna proactively touched and hugged Brian. She would demand Brian hug her whenever he left the house or seeing her. She also started being more open to hug others. She became happier and it had a lot to do with the patience of Brian when introducing Anna to a way of expressing care, love, and connection - hugging, touching!

It is beautiful, isn't it?

(Science also says about hugs' benefits:

1. Hugs reduce stress by showing your support

2. Hugs may boost your heart health

3. Hugs help you communicate with others)

Who will you hug today to show your care? [Not physically then virtually and by heart]

Compassion

COMPASSION

Sympathy looks in and says, "I'm sorry.”

Compassion goes in and says, "I’m with you.“

Sympathy looks in and says, "I would like to help."

Compassion goes in and says, "I am here to help."

Sympathy says, "I wish I could carry your burden."

Compassion says, "Cast your burden on me."

Sympathy often irritates with many words.

Compassion helps and hears in quietness and understanding.

Compassion inspires growth and connection. What are your ways to exercise our compassion, daily?

Open the door for someone.

Cheer others on.

Allocate time to bond with friends and family.

Share a hug or a handshake.

Incorporate the phrase "thank you" into your daily routine.

Help a stranger.

#happyhighperformancehabits #jencoaching #extraordinary2022withjen #day14

Review 2021, Jumpstart 2022

GRATITUDE TO 2021, AND 2022

[7 Bài học 2021, nền tảng Thói quen cho 2022]

Hope you have spent meaningful time with your loved ones and yourself. And hope you have done some deep reflection of 2021 to make a better year in 2022.

Over the days, I have struggled with my 2021 reflection and I am sharing this post, thanks to moving on from 2021 with gratitude. I somehow feel thankful for the struggle because it means there is so much for me to learn from 2021.

2021 is really a great masterpiece in both empowering ways (in which I had chances to contribute to meaningful programs) and disempowering ways (in which I made a mess in some of my habits and behaviors).

The most beautiful part is to have great people around me, my master, my bro, and my team – thanks to all of you who backed me up and together made 2021 great.

I am sharing my top lessons learned over 2021, looking forward to learning from you and sharing more great lessons, and creating great things in 2021 together.

------------ENG và Tiếng Việt------------------------

Habit 1: DECIDE HABITS WHEN YOU'RE IN GREATE STATE OF MIND, SO WHEN YOU'RE NOT, YOU STILL HAVE GOOD HABITS GET YOU BACK ON TRACK

Which good habits helped you in 2021?

Last year, in the last months of the year, I had many times when my state of mind was not good, sometimes there was a rush, I did not feel as energetic as usual. At those times, I thank the goals and habits identified at the beginning of the year – when I was in a good state of mind – for helping me get back into a better state of mind. In his book, "Geting it done," author David Allen describes this habit as: making decisions when you're smart, so that when you're confused, you're still making the decision you made earlier.

I'm thankful that before each year begins, I usually spend 1-2 weeks defining the meaning of the new year, the new year's priorities, and the habits to realize those goals. Before setting a goal, I often find a way to put myself in the best state of mind.

What is the best state of mind, you may ask? You are the one who knows better than anyone else if you pay attention. That's when you feel peaceful, your soul is light, not disturbed, not rushed, you calm down, you see positive energy flowing in you, you have no worries about being sad. There are many ways to put yourself in a good mood, for example, going to the gym, thinking about what you are grateful for. For me, I usually go to the gym, then stop doing my favorite things. I watch videos or read books by influential people in the world (eg Warren Buffett, Oprah Winfrey…) and look back at what I do well , to bring myself to the most productive state of mind.

I'm in Vietnam, so I have the opportunity to look back at my goals for the whole year twice: once on New Year's Eve, once again on Lunar New Year.

With a good attitude, clearly defined goals and habits, I "crash my head" into action for the remaining months; Every month, I look back at the results to adjust the habit. And every time I look back, I bring myself to the best state of mind.

Towards the end of 2021, I committed in many projects, I had been overdoing things day and night, and the habits that have been identified since the beginning of the year when I was in a great state of mind, helped me maintain my health.

Do you have a moment in 2021 where, despite being in a bad state of mind, thanks to good habits, you kept coming back to the good version of you?

A CHALLENGE FOR YOU IN 2022: ALLOW TIME AT LEAST 1-2 DAYS TO IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIZED GOALS, YOUR HABITS AND YOUR ACTUALIZATION OF GOALS. SHARE THOSE GOALS WITH YOUR COACH OR MENTOR OR FRIEND – THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOUR UNLIMITED POTENTIAL.

[THÓI QUEN 1: QUYẾT ĐỊNH KHI BẠN Ở TÂM THẾ TỐT, ĐỂ KHI BẠN KHÔNG Ở TÂM THẾ KHÔNG TỐT, THÓI QUEN TỐT SẼ GIÚP BẠN QUAY TRỞ LẠI TÂM THẾ TỐT

Thói quen tốt nào đã giúp bạn vào 2021?

Năm qua vào những tháng cuối năm, mình có nhiều lúc tâm thái không tốt, nhiều lúc có sự vội vàng, không cảm thấy năng lượng dồi dào như bình thường. Vào những lúc đó, mình cảm ơn mục tiêu và thói quen đã được xác định từ đầu năm – lúc mình tâm thái tốt – đã giúp mình quay trở lại tâm thế tốt. Trong cuốn sách “Geting it done”, tác giả David Allen diễn giải thói quen này là: đưa quyết định lúc bạn thông minh, để lúc bạn lú lẫn, bạn vẫn thực hiện quyết định bạn đã xác định trước đó.

Mình cảm ơn vì trước khi mỗi năm bắt đầu, mình thường dành 1-2 tuần để xác định về ý nghĩa của năm mới, mục tiêu ưu tiên của năm mới và thói quen để hiện thực hóa mục tiêu đó. Trước khi lên mục tiêu, mình thường tìm cách đưa mình về trạng thái tâm thế tốt nhất.

Bạn có thể hỏi trạng thái tâm thế tốt nhất là thế nào? Bạn là người biết rõ hơn ai hết nếu bạn để ý, đó là lúc bạn thấy an bình, tâm hồn nhẹ nhàng không bị xốn xang, vội vã, bạn tĩnh tâm, bạn thấy năng lượng tích cực chảy trong bạn, không bị lo nghĩ ưu phiền. Có nhiều cách để đưa bạn về trạng thái tâm thế tốt, ví dụ đi thể dục, nghĩ về điều bạn cảm ơn. Với mình, mình thường đi thế dục, rồi dừng làm các việc hay làm, xem video hay đọc sách của các nhân vật có ảnh hưởng trên thế giới (ví dụ Warrant Buffet, Oprah Winfrey…) và nhìn lại những gì mình làm tốt, để đưa mình về trạng thái tâm thế nhất.

Mình đang ở Việt Nam nên mình có cơ hội nhìn lại mục tiêu cả năm 2 lần: 1 lần vào Tết Dương, 1 lần nữa vào Tết Âm.

Với tâm thế tốt, mục tiêu và thói quen được xác định rõ ràng, mình “đâm đầu” vào hành động trong những tháng còn lại; cứ 1 tháng lại nhìn lại kết quả để điều chỉnh thói quen. Và mỗi lần nhìn lại, mình lại đưa mình về trạng thái tâm thế tốt nhất.

Tầm cuối năm 2021, mình đã đâm đầu vào nhiều dự án và vào thực hiện những công việc cụ thể, mình đã quay cuồng ngày đêm, và những thói quen đã được xác định từ đầu năm trong tâm thế tốt, đã giúp mình duy trì sức khỏe và năng lượng đó là tập thể dục và nhìn lại mỗi ngày. Bạn có khoảnh khắc nào trong 2021, dù ở tâm thế chưa tốt nhưng nhờ thói quen tốt, bạn tiếp tục quay lại phiên bản tốt của bạn?

THỬ THÁCH CHO BẠN VÀO 2022: DÀNH THỜI GIAN ÍT NHẤT 1-2 NGÀY ĐỂ XÁC ĐỊNH MỤC TIÊU ƯU TIÊN, THÓI QUEN HIỆN THỰC HÓA MỤC TIÊU. CHIA SẺ MỤC TIÊU ĐÓ VỚI NGƯỜI COACH HAY MENTOR HAY NGƯỜI BẠN CỦA BẠN – NGƯỜI TIN VÀO TIỀM NĂNG VÔ TẬN CỦA BẠN.]

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Habit 2: SET GOALS IMPORTANT ENOUGH, CHALLENGING ENOUGH WITH POSITIVE BELIEFS

How many % of the goals you have achieved?

I've observed over the past 3 years that most of my goals are in the same categories, just getting more challenging. I normally achieve 60% of the set goals – many of which are better than expected. The goals I don't reach all have one thing in common: I don't create a burning desire to achieve them. For example, for the past few years I have set a goal that I will share the value of my books to inspire thousands of readers (independent of the publisher promoting the book), but during the year I did not execute anything at all on this goal…

I find this goal important enough, and challenging enough, but I haven't built up my confidence in promoting the book yet. I don't even feel positively excited about promoting the book; it is due to negative beliefs about promotion or sales, and also some part may not believe in myself.

Have you ever had an important enough goal? Challenging enough? but you don't have positive beliefs about that goal yet.

The truth is, whether positive or negative beliefs – both beliefs, formed through thoughts that are repeated and reinforced as a result of certain actions – beliefs are created as well. may change.

The bottom line is, the goal is important and challenging enough, and if you absolutely need to achieve that goal, sooner or later, then we need to change our beliefs in order to take action, to achieve the goal.

CHALLENGE FOR YOU AND MYSELF IN 2022: DETERMINATE GOALS IMPORTANT AND CHALLENGING ENOUGH, AND BUILD POSITIVE BELIEFS CONNECTED WITH THE GOAL:

- Write down your goal and imagine achieving it with positive emotions

- Imagine overcoming challenges to achieve goals

- Share with people who understand and support your goal

- Do one action a day towards your goal

[THÓI QUEN 2: ĐẶT MỤC TIÊU ĐỦ QUAN TRỌNG, ĐỦ THÁCH THỨC, ĐƯỢC CỦNG CỐ BỞI NIỀM TIN TÍCH CỰC

Bạn thường đạt bao nhiêu % mục tiêu đã đề ra?

Mình quan sát trong 3 năm qua, hầu hết các mục tiêu của mình đều giống nhau ở lĩnh vực, chỉ thử thách hơn vào mỗi năm, và mình đạt được 60% mục tiêu đã đề ra – nhiều mục tiêu đạt được tốt hơn so với dự định. Những mục tiêu mình không đạt được đều có đặc điểm chung: mình không tạo ra sự khát khao cháy bỏng để đạt được nó. Vì dụ, mấy năm nay mình đều đặt mục tiêu là mình sẽ chia sẻ giá trị từ sách mình viết để truyền cảm hứng tới hàng nghìn độc giả (độc lập với việc Nhà Xuất Bản quảng bá sách), nhưng trong năm mình hầu không làm gì với mục tiêu này…

Mình nhận thấy mục tiêu này đủ quan trọng, và cũng đủ thách thức nhưng mình chưa xây dựng niềm tin về việc quảng bá sách. Thậm chí, mình không cảm thấy hào hứng tích cực về việc quảng bá sách; đó là do niềm tin tiêu cực về quảng bá hay bán hàng, và cũng là một phần nào có thể chưa tin vào chính mình.

Bạn từng có một mục tiêu đủ quan trọng? đủ thách thức? nhưng bạn chưa có niềm tin tích cực về mục tiêu đó.

Sự thật là, niềm tin tiêu cực hay tích cực – đều là niềm tin, được hình thành qua những suy nghĩ được lặp đi lặp lại và củng cố bởi kết quả của một số hành động cụ thể - niềm tin được tạo ra thì cũng có thể thay đổi.

Điều cốt lõi là, mục tiêu đủ quan trọng và thách thức, và nếu bạn chắc chắn cần đạt được mục tiêu đó, sớm hay muộn, thì chúng ta cần thay đổi niềm tin để hành động, đạt mục tiêu.

THỬ THÁCH CHO BẠN VÀ MÌNH VÀO 2022: XÁC ĐỊNH MỤC TIÊU ĐỦ QUAN TRỌNG VÀ ĐỦ THÁCH THỨC, VÀ XÂY DỰNG NIỀM TIN TÍCH CỰC GẮN VỚI MỤC TIÊU:

- Viết ra mục tiêu và tưởng tượng đạt mục tiêu với cảm xúc tích cực

- Tưởng tượng vượt qua thử thách để đạt mục tiêu

- Chia sẻ với những người hiểu và ủng hộ mục tiêu của bạn

- Làm một hành động một ngày để tiến tới mục tiêu]

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Habit 3: INSPIRING VISION, GOALS, AND QUANTIFY THE WORKLOAD, BENEFITS AND COMMITMENT NEEDED

Last year, I thank you for having chances to be incharge different meaningful projects and programs.

I have learned and grown up a lot, although I am still stubborn and need to bounce back, I am always thankful and thinking about what other co-workers share every day.

All of the above programs touch the heart and are in tune with their core values - empowering people, making a big impact in society - and that's why the amount of work and effort put in by them. The deployment team will need to be proportionate – large.

When implementing the above programs, I was supported by the implementation team - who are brothers, sisters, and friends who always support and believe in my mission. The programs all took place and had good results, thanks to our teammates deploying and giving their best. For one thing, my teammates had to put in a lot more effort with the huge workload of those national programs. I, as a project manager, have done a great job of inspiring my teammates and teammates to work together; but have not yet together with teammates determine the process and volume of work to be done.

Great lesson for me about inspiring vision + processes + measuring workload for the team - ensuring the team works happily for a long time, not overloaded.

CHALLENGE FOR YOU AND ME:

- Clearly define the goals and vision of the program with the implementation team

- Clearly identify members with the same core values as the program's vision and goals

- Work together to plan the implementation and clearly define the workload with the team

- Clear process and clear benefits for the team, ensuring win-win

- Regularly share knowledge and celebrate the team's achievements

[THÓI QUEN 3: TRUYỀN CẢM HỨNG VỀ TẦM NHÌN, MỤC TIÊU VÀ ĐỊNH LƯỢNG KHỐI LƯỢNG CÔNG SỨC, LỢI ÍCH VÀ SỰ CAM KẾT ĐỘI NGŨ CẦN CÓ

Năm vừa rồi mình cảm ơn vì có cơ hội thực hiện nhiều dự án và chương trình ý nghĩa.

Mình được học hỏi và lớn lên nhiều, dù vẫn có lúc bướng và cần bật lại, nhưng trong lòng luôn cảm ơn và nghĩ về những gì anh chị đồng nghiệp chia sẻ hướng dẫn mỗi ngày.

Tất cả những chương trình trên đều chạm đến trái tim và đồng điệu với giá trị cốt lõi của mình – trao quyền cho con người, tạo ảnh hưởng lớn trong xã hội – và chính vì vậy khối lượng công việc và công sức bỏ ra của team triển khai sẽ cần tương xứng – lớn.

Khi triển khai các chương trình trên, mình đã được sự hỗ trợ của team triển khai - là những người anh, người chị, người bạn luôn ủng hộ và tin vào sứ mệnh của mình. Các chương trình đều diễn ra và có kết quả tốt, nhờ có đồng đội mình triển khai và hết mình. Có một điều là đồng đội mình đã phải bỏ nhiều công sức hơn rất nhiều với khối lượng công việc rất lớn của những chương trình mang tầm quốc gia đó. Mình, với vai trò quản lý dự án đã làm rất tốt việc truyền cảm hứng cho đồng đội, đồng đội hùng hục cùng làm; nhưng đã chưa cùng đồng đội xác định quy trình và khối lượng công việc cần làm.

Bài học lớn cho mình về việc truyền cảm hứng tầm nhìn + quy trình + đo lường khối lượng công việc cho đội nhóm – đảm bảo đội nhóm làm việc vui vẻ lâu bền, không bị quá tải.

Năm vừa qua có dự án, chương trình nào bạn đã truyền được cảm hứng cho đội ngũ? nhưng bạn thấy mình có thể cải thiện việc quan tâm đến sức khỏe thể chất và tinh thần của đội ngũ?

THỬ THÁCH CHO BẠN VÀ MÌNH:

- Xác định rõ mục tiêu và tầm nhìn của chương trình với đội ngũ triển khai

- Xác định rõ thành viên cùng giá trị cốt lõi với mục tiêu tầm nhìn của chương trình

- Cùng lên kế hoạch triển khai và xác định rõ khối lượng công việc cùng team

- Quy trình rõ ràng và quyền lợi rõ ràng cho team, đảm bảo win-win

- Thường xuyên chia sẻ kiến thức và ăn mừng những thành quả của team ]

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Habit 4: IF YOU SAY “YES”, YOU WILL COMMIT TO DO TO THE BEST, THE BEST YOU CAN; IF NOT SAY “NO” QUICKLY

One of my principles is 'responsibility' - do my best if I said I would do something to someone. Last year 2021, I tormented myself because I broke this rule myself – because I fell into a slow time, didn't deliver on time, and didn't do my best even though I did accept the job.

This is the result of me not saying “no”, I want to help – while I have had projects that have been or have been planned since the beginning of the year. This also involves drawing a big, attractive vision and not clearly planning the amount of work to achieve that vision goal – leading to being “burned out” by overload.

Looking back at 2021, is there a time when you said YES even though your energy and commitment were spent on another project?



CHALLENGE FOR 2022: IF YOU HAVE DEFINED YOUR GOAL, VISION AND MISSION, PRIORITY IN 2022

- If there is a new opportunity, you need to determine if it is as important and prioritized as the goal you set at the beginning of the year? (when in a good mood), do you still have the commitment/energy to complete this opportunity as best you can? Or can your team do well?

- If the above factors are not guaranteed, you need to say "No" as quickly as possible, so as not to affect the person who gives you the opportunity.

- You can include that opportunity in your general list of opportunities, and maybe in the future when the time is right, you will make a connection.

- The principle is to keep the main thing as the main thing

[THÓI QUEN 4: NẾU NÓI “YES” THÌ SẼ CAM KẾT LÀM TỚI CÙNG, TỐT NHẤT CÓ THỂ; NẾU KHÔNG NÓI “NO” NHANH

Một trong những nguyên tắc của mình là ‘có trách nhiệm’ - hết mình có thể nếu mình đã nói sẽ làm một điều gì với ai đó. Năm 2021 vừa qua, mình tự dằn vặt chính mình vì mình đã tự đập đổ nguyên tắc này – vì mình đã rơi vào thời gian lê lết, không ‘trả bài’ đúng hẹn, và không làm hết mình như có thể dù mình đã nhận lời làm.

Đây là kết quả của việc mình không nói “không”, mình muốn giúp – trong khi mình đã có những dự án được hoặc định từ dầu năm. Điều này cũng liên quan đến việc vẽ ra tầm nhìn to, hấp dẫn và chưa hoạch định rõ khối lượng công việc để đạt được mục tiêu tầm nhìn đó – dẫn đến bị “cháy” vì quá tải.

Nhìn lại 2021, bạn thấy có thời điểm nào bạn đã nói YES dù năng lượng, cam kết của bạn đã dành hết cho dự án khác?

THỬ THÁCH CHO 2022: NẾU BẠN ĐÃ XÁC ĐỊNH RÕ MỤC TIÊU, TẦM NHÌN VÀ SỨ MỆNH, ƯU TIÊN CỦA MÌNH VÀO 2022

- Nếu có cơ hội mới đến, bạn cần xác định cơ hội đó có quan trọng và cần ưu tiên như mục tiêu bạn đã đặt ra từ đầu năm? (khi tâm thế tốt), bạn còn sự cam kết/năng lượng để hoàn thành cơ hội này tốt nhất có thể? Hay đội ngũ của bạn có thể làm tốt?

- Nếu các yếu tố trên chưa được đảm bảo, bạn cần nói “Không” nhanh nhất có thể, để không ảnh hưởng đến người trao cơ hội cho bạn

- Bạn có thể đưa cơ hội đó vào danh sách tổng hợp các cơ hội của bạn, và có thể trong tương lai thời điểm phù hợp, bạn sẽ có một kết nối nào đó

- Nguyên tắc là giữ cái chính là cái chính]

========================================

Habit 5: PRIORITY PEOPLE INTERESTED AND CAREFUL TO YOU

Are you ever late for an appointment with someone you love? With your teacher? Or your team? – people who care and have a certain amount of tolerance for you? that is, if you're late, they probably won't get too angry or stop seeing you.

But you may not feel comfortable, because they are important to you.

I'm usually on time with clients or partners, but over the past year, I haven't been on time many times with my loved ones - whom I see they will have a certain amount of tolerance for me. For example my coach is my longtime teacher – I often come in late because I tell myself – I do a lot of missions all day, so I need a little space for myself – he will understand. I remember one time I made him wait for 20 minutes, and he didn't say anything for 5 minutes. At that time, I changed that everything has a limit, I know that – the person who loves and is close to us, is the person we need to cherish the most and should not miss an appointment.

CHALLENGE 2022 FOR YOU AND ME:

- Prioritize and cherish your loved ones and those who are generous to you like everyone else

- Send a thank you letter, or a surprise message to them

[THÓI QUEN 5: ƯU TIÊN NHỮNG NGƯỜI QUAN TÂM VÀ CÓ SỰ ĐỘ LƯỢNG VỚI BẠN

Bạn có bao giờ trễ hẹn với người mình yêu thương? Với thầy bạn? hay team của bạn? – những người mà quan tâm và có sự độ lượng nhất định với bạn? tức là nếu bạn trễ hẹn, có thể họ sẽ không quá giận hay ngừng gặp bạn.

Nhưng có thể bạn sẽ không cảm thấy thoải mái, vì họ quan trọng với bạn.

Mình thường đúng hẹn với khách hàng hay với đối tác, nhưng năm qua, mình đã không đúng hẹn nhiều lần với những người thân – người mà mình thấy họ sẽ có sự độ lượng nhất định với mình. Ví dụ coach của mình là thầy lâu năm của mình – mình thường vào muộn vì mình tự nói rẳng – cả ngày mình làm nhiều phi vụ, nên mình cần có một chút không gian cho chính mình – thầy sẽ hiểu. Mình nhớ có một lần mình để thầy chờ 20 phút, và thầy không nói gì trong 5 phút. Lúc đó, mình đã biến là mọi thứ đều có giới hạn, mình biết rằng – người yêu thương và thân thiết với chúng ta, lại là người mà chúng ta cần trân trọng nhất và không nên lỡ hẹn.

THỬ THÁCH 2022 CHO BẠN VÀ MÌNH:

- Ưu tiên và trân trọng người thân và người có sự độ lượng lớn với bạn như tất cả mọi người khác

- Gửi thư cảm ơn, hay lời nhắn chúc bất ngờ tới họ]

================================

Habit 6: STOP, WALK ONE ROUND, THEN ACT

(This habit is also known as “delayed gratification”)

Along with the fact that I made the team “overloaded” because of the workload, I sometimes gave feedback in a rush, causing my team to feel overwhelmed.

When giving effective feedback, everything is resolved more effectively, faster, the team does not need to be overwhelmed and analyze their "text" feedback.

I found my team to be great, withstanding my feedback writing style. Thanks team.

CHALLENGE FOR YOU AND ME IN 2022:

When you receive a team product, if you feel a negative emotion arise in you, you have a series of thoughts and want to give it to the team as quickly as possible; Instead of letting that emotion dictate your behavior, you will:

- Say thank you for that feeling and thought

- Get out of your seat, go around, then come back to give feedback when you're in a good mood

- Give feedback in a respectful way, then to understand the context of your team making that product

(Over time, you can build a habit, stopping before giving feedback, and not letting your emotions dictate your behavior; you can just take a deep breath - no need to go around ^^)

Maybe you have another way to handle this situation?

[THÓI QUEN 6: DỪNG LẠI, ĐI MỘT VÒNG, RỒI ỨNG XỬ

(thói quen này cũng được biết đến là “delayed gratification”)

Cùng với việc mình khiến đội ngũ “quá tải” vì khối lượng công việc, mình nhiều lúc đã đưa phản hồi một cách dồn dập khiến đội ngũ của mình thấy ngập.

Những lúc đưa phản hồi hiệu quả thì mọi việc được giải quyết hiệu quả, nhanh hơn, đội ngũ không cần bị ngợp và phân tích phản hồi kiểu “bài văn” của mình.

Mình thấy team mình thật tuyệt, đã chịu được phong cách viết văn phản hồi của mình. Cảm ơn team.

THỬ THÁCH CHO BẠN VÀ MÌNH VÀO 2022:

Khi nhận một sản phẩm của team, nếu bạn thấy trỗi dậy trong mình một cảm xúc không tích cực, bạn có hàng loạt những suy nghĩ và muốn đưa cho team nhanh nhất có thể; thay vì để cảm xúc đó điều khiến hành vi của bạn, bạn sẽ:

- Nói cảm ơn tới cảm xúc và suy nghĩ đó

- Đi ra khỏi chỗ bạn ngồi, đi 1 vòng, rồi quay lại đưa phản hồi khi tâm thế tốt

- Đưa phản hồi theo hướng trân trọng, rồi để hiểu bối cảnh team bạn làm ra sản phẩm đó

(theo thời gian, bạn có thể rèn được thói quen, dừng lại trước khi đưa phản hồi, và không để cảm xúc điều khiển hành vi; bạn có thể chỉ cần hít 1 hơi thật sâu - không cần đi 1 vòng ^^)

Có thể bạn có cách khác để xử lý tình huống này?]

=====================================

Habit 7: KINDNESS, LOVE AND GRATITUDE

Every day, I often receive messages from my sister "How are you, stay healthy, I love you". Do you receive texts from someone, the same message, so often that you may find it “boring” at first?

I used to have such fleeting thoughts, but then, those texts became the thing that ignited my energy, gratitude, and feelings of love – thank you so much. When you send someone love, without expecting anything in return, you make an impact on that person more than you think. It would be wonderful, if we, more often than not, would give the words of love, without thinking, and appreciate more than the words of love we receive. When you look at it with respect, you will feel a flow of positive energy into your heart; Your soul is also light and complete.

CHALLENGE FOR YOU AND ME IN 2022:

- Do 1 kind thing every day, to strangers

- Secretly, wish someone happiness - a stranger at a coffee shop, or a partner in your company

- Every day, before waking up, write down something you are grateful for; Before going to bed, write down something you're thankful for

[THÓI QUEN 10: SỰ TỬ TẾ, YÊU THƯƠNG VÀ LÒNG BIẾT ƠN

Mỗi ngày mình thường nhận được tin nhắn từ chị gái “Em khỏe chứ, giữ sức khỏe, chị yêu em”. Bạn có nhận được tin nhắn của ai đó, tin giống nhau, thường xuyên đến mức có thể ban đầu bạn thấy “nhàm”?

Mình đã từng có ý nghĩ thoáng qua như vậy, nhưng rồi, những tin nhắn đó đã trở thành thứ kích hoạt năng lượng, lòng biết ơn và cảm giác yêu thương của mình – mình cảm ơn chị rất nhiều. Khi bạn gửi lời yêu thương tới ai đó, không kỳ vọng bất kỳ điều gì, bạn tạo ra ảnh hưởng tới người đó nhiều hơn bạn nghĩ. Sẽ tuyệt vời, nếu chúng ta, thường xuyên cho đi những lời yêu thương, không toan tính, và trân trọng hơn những lời yêu thương chúng ta nhận được. Khi bạn nhìn nó với sự trân trọng, bạn sẽ cảm nhận được một dòng chảy năng lượng tích cực tới trái tim bạn; tâm hồn bạn cũng được nhẹ nhàng và đầy đủ.

THỬ THÁCH CHO BẠN VÀ MÌNH VÀO 2022:

- Thực hiện 1 điều tử tế mỗi ngày, với người lạ

- Một cách bí mật, chúc một ai đó được hạnh phúc – người lạ ngồi quán café, hay người cộng sự trong công ty bạn

- Mỗi ngày, trước khi thức dậy, ghi điều bạn cảm ơn; trước khi đi ngủ, ghi lại điều bạn cảm ơn]

#love #gratitude #growwithjen

 

SKY JUICE

"Sky Juice"

for your new week and

Christmas!

Henry and I were having dinner in an Indian restaurant, the waiter came and gently asked " Would you like to have some drink?"

" We are great, thank you so much!", I smiled.

"Oh, you are drinking sky juice, that is the best drink!", with a big grin the man pointed at my bottle of water on the table.

"Haha, we love it. It is the best juice", Henry and I were excited and said.

The man then made a joke. He explained 'why the sky juice is the best juice' by emphasizing how patient we had to be to get the "juice" from the "sky" when it was raining to fill up the bottle. He then wished us a great meal and didn't forget to say a very Merry Christmas to our family.

The phrase "Sky Juice" became the phrase of the day for Henry and I. The phrase itself and more than that the smile and kindness of the man made our day!

Hope it make your day too!

Merry Christmas my friends with some sky juice - smiles and kindness!

---

KINDNESS is the most powerful fuel of energy!

"A 2018 study focused on employees at a Spanish company. Workers were asked to either a) perform acts of kindness for colleagues and count the number of kind acts they received from coworkers. The results showed that those who received acts of kindness became happier, demonstrating the value of benevolence for the receiver.

However, those who delivered the acts of kindness benefited even more than the receivers. That’s because not only did they show a similar trend towards increased happiness, but they also had an boost in life and job satisfaction, as well as a decrease in depression."

Maybe YOU KNOW:

1. Kindness releases feel-good hormones

2. Kindness can reduce anxiety

3. Kindness may help alleviate certain illness

4. Kindness can reduce your stress levels

5. Kindness connects people

HOW TO PERFORM AN ACT OF KINDNESS

It can start with simple actions everyday:

1. Say hi to a stranger

2. Say thank you

3. Acknowledge someone who does something well

4. Help out someone to carry stuff

5. Listen to others

6. Share what you learn

Have a great week with an act of kindness per day my friends!

Finish 2021 strong with excitement

4 STEPS TO ACHIEVE THE YEAR STRONG WITH EXCITEMENT

When we end a year or a week strong, we start a new year or a new week strong.

When I did a seminar on how to end a year strong in 2017 in the UK, it was 7 days before the year ended, I was super pumped when a lady texted me right after the event that she just finished what she delayed for a year - getting her driving license. She felt a sense of control for her coming year after that. Yes, it can be getting your driving license or becoming a member of a community or giving your first attempt to speak up - if you can finish it strong, you gain the feeling of being capable and proactive rather than being passive.

4 steps can help us to finish the year strong:

- Step 1: List out all things that you plan at the beginning of the year but you haven't finished yet

- Step 2: Choose one thing which is the most important thing for you or the thing that you have delayed too long and no matter what you still need to do it

- Step 3: Write into 2 columns of a paper: what has made you not doing that thing (in step 3), write on the other column the first step you can take today to get it done

- Step 4: Just get the first small step right after you finish step 3

What is the thing you are going to finish strong today?

#happyhighperformancehabits #jencoaching @growthwithjen

https://youtu.be/ZJflzGvU1Cs

Teachers

20 TEACHERS

"Everyone is a teacher..."

(The one who said that, certainly, is a great teacher too. Thank you)

It is teacher day in Vietnam, 20 Nov 2021; thanks to everyone, you are a teacher of someone in one or another way.

I am particularly thankful for my 20 teachers What are yours?

1. My younger sister & GRATITUDE: my younger sister passed away when I was young, she was a secret for me and she taught me to be curious to discover life and be grateful to be alive

2. My second elder sister & OPTIMISM: my second elder sister, despite facing different tragedies, she always brought the OPTIMISM about a better future for me

3. My eldest sister & UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: each day, she would ask me if I am doing great, she taught me to LOVE unconditionally

4. My elder brother & COURAGE: he taught me to fish, tame the buffalo…, he stood by his own two feet, working to support his education; he taught me to have the courage to work on my DREAM

5. My nephew “Hello” & HOPE: Hello is the English name I chose for my nephew – the first son of my second elder sister. My sister wanted to have a baby in the same dragon year as me, she chose to arrange to give birth to Hello on the dragon year ^^ I saw Hello, I saw HOPE

6. My father’s friend & FORGIVENESS & POSSIBILITY: a friend of my father told me once that I could not do what I wanted to do, going to a science university or going abroad, I, later on, reflected and realized he was just saying what others often said but I had that limiting belief in me so I felt bitter; it always helped me to try better to make it possible. He taught me to forgive myself and anyone who by accident said something that was not empowering to me. And he taught me anything is possible if it is important enough to us to do, we do it, commit to it

7. My teacher in university and VISION: I had some doubts about myself, very deep down, without knowing it…I remember my math teacher used to tell me “ I can see you can do something very big…” I was not the greatest student in the class, but hearing that, I felt a bigger vision for myself

8. My teacher at university and I CAN: I had a deep-down thought inside me that I was not good enough, and this voice made me not believe I could go abroad as other talented friends; my sister once time told me as it is something obvious “Sure, you can do too…” It awakened the giant within me, believe that I could

9. My friend Paul and PASSION: I met Paul in a public speaking club when I was a student, Paul helped me to join his journey of starting my very first community-based business, I discovered my passion in a new career by helping others

10. My mentor in Malaysia and BE MYSELF: as I grew up, I left my hometown, I turned from a quiet kid to an outgoing one, I went to public speaking clubs, and often gave a speech. I used all chances to speak up for myself, I spoke aloud. Sometimes people came to tell me to lower my voice…but my mentor always reminded me “Keep that energy, keep that awesome energy, don’t let anyone tell you to limit you. They may not get that energy yet”

11. My teacher in Spain & SLOW DOWN: I was always rushed, I am now sometimes still because I wanted to finish, I wanted to create results…When I was in Spain, I admired my professor because of his fitness and wisdom. Before I left Spain, I asked him “one thing I should do differently?” he told me “Slow down…” I went to the yard of my university and lied down, and just smiled and talked to myself “slow down”

12. My professor in the UK and CURIOSITY: I was told by my professor that a why person, I kept asking questions, a lot of questions, sometimes he couldn’t finish his teaching plan because I asked so many questions….Also because of that, he later gave me lots of opportunities and keep encouraging my dream

13. My “Sư Phụ” & SUSTAINABLE IMPACT: he taught me if we choose to do anything, we do it with excellence and sustainably, passion has to come with practical impact

14. My “Sư Huynh” & NURTURE: he is always there for me, going with my craziness, naughtiness; he gave me opportunities to do bigger things with bigger impact

15. My close friend from Spain & PERSPECTIVES: he was always against what I had to say, but all in all to make me better; he taught me that I could always do better

16. My mentor Stuart and BIG THINKING: one time, Stuart asked me if I played safe? I could do more than what I did, working from the future, not from the fear

17. My team & COLLABORATION: my team taught me that there is a place of happiness and fulfillment and greatness when people work toward the same goal…it seems a challenge still for me, but it is a practice

18. The stranger in a coffee shop in the UK and THE SIMPLE BEAUTY OF LIFE: I was coming back from a conversation with a psychologist, thinking about what I was doing…the stranger stared at the painting, I thought he was a traveler…it turned out he just saw it daily but felt it beautiful

19. The stranger in the coffee shop in Malaysia and KINDNESS: he gave up the seat for me, his kindness made me get back to life – there are always things to feel grateful for

20. Now: any moment of now is a great moment

THE INFINITIVE SUCCESS AND FULFILLMENT

When everyone succeeds, we have bigger success and happiness.

(from The Power of Nice book”)

"Tony Hassini recalls the day he received a phone call from a then-unknown magician named Doug Henning. Hassini, a magician himself, possessed the blueprints for some of the

world’s most stunning illusions. “Henning had called several times before we were able to speak. When we did talk, I knew he was a magician who possibly might compete with me. My initial reaction was to be nice to him but not share any well-guarded secrets. I had spent ten years and a great deal of money to gather these blueprints, and I wasn’t about to give them to anyone,” says Hassini.

But he maintained a friendly phone relationship with Henning. “I gave him some information (nothing major) and some ideas, just to keep good relations between us,” says Hassini.

It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth conversation they had that Henning explained that he was working on a very different kind of magic show, a musical that would have a very intense storyline around magic and—most important—would do away with the old “top hat and tails” image.

Instead, Henning would have long hair and wear brightly colored clothes. “The more I listened to him, the more I thought he had a chance of succeeding,” said Hassini.

So Hassini sent Henning fourteen blueprints. “I could have charged him a good deal of money for these well-kept secrets and for my consultation. But I decided that I’d gain more from our relationship if the show was a success,” says Hassini.

Of course, Hassini’s gamble paid off. Henning’s show opened in Toronto and broke box-office ticket records in that city. The show then moved to Broadway, where it ran for four and a half years, eventually becoming the basis for a series of phenomenally successful television specials.

Henning happily shared the pie with Hassini, offering him lucrative consulting contracts and helping him promote Tony’s organization, the International Magicians Society.

The collaboration did not just enrich Henning and Hassini—it raised the profile of all magicians. Before Henning, the stereotype of the magician was a man in tuxedo and white gloves, pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Now magic was hip—which meant magicians everywhere were getting more work.

Life is not a zero-sum game: If the other person wins, I lose, or vice versa. There’s no need to squabble over Bake a Bigger Pie who gets the biggest piece of pie—we just have to bake a bigger pie.

WHEN EVERYONE SUCCEEDS, OUR SUCCESS IS BIGGER.

(Page 17, The Power of Nice)

What i know for sure

WHAT YOU KNOW FOR SURE?

What I know for sure

- when you are vulnerable, true to yourself, you become more free and stronger; when you are grateful, you have it all.

One day, a friend asked me "what is special to me today?"

What I know for sure was the answer.

That morning, I listened to Oprah's book in which she told her story of being shame for a decade because of being sexually abused at her early age. She kept that shameless within her thinking others would judge her. And when she revealed it, she became totally free and everyone still love her as they have done - because they love what she stands for - empowering others through her work.

I looked back at what I felt shame for to share with u ...Maybe you can think of what made you feel shameful for?

When I was a kid, people told me I was ugly but then there were someone trying to take advantage of me. I couldn't remember clearly how was that but it also hindered how I reacted in my relationship later on. I told my boyfriend at that time and he said sorry to hear that, it didn't change how much he loved and appreciated me.

When I was studying in the UK, I got some difficult time regarding finance that I had to go to find more work. But my visa was almost running out of so it was difficult to be accepted. And even people told me I was more qualified than the job I applied (e.g., working in a restaurant).

I remember after one week consistently looking for more work, I walked past by an Arabic restaurant, I saw a recruitment sign.

I walked inside and saw a tall smart guy making pizza. I asked him to help him.

He said "sure".

And he told me to come to another day where he could teach me make falafel and if I could then he would like to have me working there.

I learned fast making falafel, pizza and helping to manage the restaurant.

He was really strict to me. He required me clean every little thing carefully, put each thing carefully nicely and he also taught me all of his recipe for making better dishes.

Sometimes I was thinking to the comfort moments of my engineering life before, being in luxury hotels when traveling and working in modern buildings - I felt a bit bitter with my own situation when choosing my new career of writing and training. I was shameful to tell my coaching clients or people who came to my seminar about my part time job at the restaurant. I kept it for myself.

And one day, a client walked past by the restaurant, he came to me smiling cheerfully, excited to see I could make falafel. At that moment, I realized there was nothing to be shameful of but my own thinking. I realized I learned so much about patience and food^^.

I then asked all people I used to feel scared of if they would know me to come and try falafel i made. It was a JOY.

The shame became a JOY.

Shame is just a delusion of our own self that we think less of ourselves. Our true values are what matter!

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE is what I stand for - empowering others - the rest is just secondary.

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE for you is that you have values that if you value them, they matter to others. And that is the only thing matter, not your past, your current situation.

What I know for sure is you are great! Don't let anything happening before limit you!

Love you!

#Growthwithjen