Have you ever felt you lost the connection with others?
I have since I was a kid.
I was a silent kid. I would not talk to my friends much. I would not talk with my neighborhood much. You may think that I was a shy kid.
No. I was not. I was just a kid who wanted to protect my goal of going abroad with a full scholarship and help people around me - the goal was laughed by many people when hearing my sharing.
People often gave up on telling me to be realistic because of my silent without much argument. Thanks to the silence, I wholeheartedly focused on my goal, studying hard everyday. And yes, I made it. I got scholarships for working in an International company and later on 2 top world scholarships to study 2 Masters and being the best performance in each Master program,
I also changed from a silent person to become a non-stop speaking person that what my friends often call me. After high school, I started speaking non-stop to get out all the things built up over the years of being in silent. And the silent years taught me to speak well we need to listen well.
I thought I spoke well as I nonstop did it everyday. I would go to public speaking club and nonstop gave speech. I felt I developed into a great speaker and trainer identity. However, I still felt something missing. I felt there was an empty part not filled yet inside me. Anytime I spoke, I was full of me. But after that, I always felt the disconnection between me and the audience. The feeling was built up day by day.
One day, my mentor told me that frankly people didn't really get what I said in general except for the energy. I was so confused. I didn't know what happening. Despite my consistency of speaking, it didn't lead to anywhere.
Thankfully, my mentor read my mind. He helped me to connect with my purpose of speaking to empower people instead of focusing on the doubts. He made me realised the 'silent stubborn kid' part was the block wall between me and the audience.
I realised that the invisible wall built between me and the outside since I was a kid make me speak in my head instead of the audience's head. I realised the unconscious fear of being not understood deep inside me built since I was a kid.
That was a powerful realisation. Since then, I slowly took down a 'brick' in the wall by connecting with the audience from my heart instead of only with my head. I started sharing my truth. I started sharing my ambition. I trust in the connection with others. I trust in the connection with the world. I felt connected more than ever with people around me. That's powerful. I feel my journey of speaking to empower people has just started, everyday. I feel without connection with people, my life journey is a no purpose journey. No matter the silent part of speaking part in me appears, they both look for the connection with people, with you my friends.
Thanks for connecting with me by reading these words. If you have felt a lonely time - lacking of connection with the world, this is the time to connect with people again.
Some practices for us to feel connected with others then ourselves:
1. Be our true self: If we are not our true self, others may not be themselves when interacting with you. We loose the true connection
2. Be curious to learn about others
3. Respect and support others
4. Be present in any conversation with others
5. Be grateful for others
