WHEN NOT BEING OKAY IS OKAY: LETTING STRENGTH HAVE COMPANY
#RebirthLeadership #JenCoaching
During a meeting of our international entrepreneurs' community on leadership, where shadow meets light, one member asked another:
"Why did you try to look okay in front of everyone when you were not okay inside?"
She paused.
"Because I didn't want them to worry."
It took me back to my student years. I once cycled seventy kilometres alone, in thirty-seven-degree heat, to visit my sister. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the bike and rode into a parked car.
When I arrived, I told her:
"Your sister is strong, you know that. That was great."
I never told her about the car.
Years later, that same strength came with me into my teams. I kept looking okay, even when felt I was carrying too much.
There is another layer too.
Sometimes being okay becomes connected to being strong.
Being strong becomes connected to being reliable.
And being reliable quietly becomes connected to being worthy of love.
So we keep showing up. We carry the meeting. The team. The family. The work. Sometimes even the emotional weather in the room.
And when we are tired, hurt or uncertain, a familiar voice says:
"It's okay. I can handle it."
...
In 1000 Souls in Me, I call her The One Who Does Not Want to Worry Anyone.
This Soul loves deeply. It has always wanted to protect others.
It does not need to disappear.
But for its strength to last, it needs company.
In the book, I call that companion The Supported One: the part of us that can receive help and be supported without immediately having to give something back.
With this soul beside us, we can:
Say, "I'm not great today," and still know we are worthy.
Let someone care, without rushing to reassure them.
Be loved not only for the version of us who can carry everything.
To the founders and leaders who have carried a lot:
You do not have to look okay every moment to be someone others can trust, respect and love.
REFLECTION CORNER
Letting ourselves be not okay does not mean staying there.
We stay long enough to see it and feel it.
Then we can ask:
1. What is one thing I can appreciate here?
2. What is one thing I can do to move forward?
And one more for this week:
Who is one person I could let see a little more of me?
Jen
