Life gives us GIFTS wrapped in so-called PROBLEMS

* A GIFT wrapped under my injury while running a 112km trail*

At the end of 2023, I joined the 75km trail to experience an organized trail running program as before that, I always only ran on my own every day, with one longer run every week than usual.

For 75km, the race starts at 3am morning till the next day. For 112km, the race starts at night 6:00 p.m and run through the night until the next day.

In early 2024, to celebrate the birth of the book Rebirth and my birthday, I participated in a 112km trail to experience the journey of connecting day and night with mother nature, and finding the rythem within me and the outside. This is the year I am practicing harmonizing things within me, the empowering and disempowering of my ego, my identy, my beliefs, capabilities and the outer world – with others – with the universe.

After running more than 2/3 of the 112km journey, I felt a sharp pain in her right leg, a feeling of a stretched ligament. I tried to keep running, until the throbbing feeling became stronger. My intuition told me that I had to do something about it otherwise it would turn out not good.

I decided to rest and wait for her Athlete Support (also a trail coach), to pass by and ask him to borrow salonpas, to stick them in the pain part and then continue the race.

This injury gave me a gift – a conversation between two coaches: the trail coach and the human development coach – Jen, myself (I later realized it was more of my ego part).

The conversation is like a gift of perspectives for me to practice better on the journey of HARMONIZING different parts of me, my ego, my beliefs, my identity, my action...

When I got to my place, the trail coach checked my foot condition.

Trail Coach: You have a sprain. It's almost time for the coming checking point. The doctor will take a look again. In my opinion, for the best for your legs, you should not continue running the rest of the way.

(I felt like stopping because of something my ego called minor - a sprain - had never entered my mind.)

Human Development Coach – Jen (more than Jen's ego): I just need salonpas, or is there a temporary way to fix it, and let me go the rest of the way.

Trail coach: I sprayed cold on the sprain and it was swollen because you tried to walk. Salonpas can't help you. You can run, but it can create bad consequences for you.

Jen: What's the most serious thing that will happen?

Coach: I can't say for sure, it depends on your current condition and your constitution; When we sprain but continue to exercise vigorously, it can lead to torn ligaments, or chronic ankle pain, or inflammation..., the doctor at the checking point will tell you more; But the bottom line is that you shouldn't keep running when having injury this way

Jen: Is there a way to keep running, and limit these effects…

Coach: I'm not sure about this. The doctor will give you more advice, but do you really need to finish this run? The life game is long, it's not just this game...

Jen: The game is long, interesting perspective, thank you

Coach friend: The life game is long, there are many other opportunities for you to run, and most importantly, you have experienced the essense of 112km, running through the night, do you see if it is worth trying to run such a long distance when your legs are like this? y

Jen: Thank you, I want to finish, I don't have the habit of giving up halfway if I choose to play at the first place

Trail coach: It is not about giving up the race, but more about giving up on doing tempary things that have bad consequences for the long run. The game is still long, if you don't give up the risk of this one play, you may lose all opportunities for the long game of a lifetime...

Jen: ….

Trail coach: How did you prepare for this 112km race?

Jen: (Laughs), I don't have specific preparations, I prepare for my whole life (laughs), I exercise every day, I used to climb mountains every day when I was in Malaysia for 2 years

Trail coach: Apart from preparing for your whole life, do you have your own activities to prepare for this and does anyone coach you?

Jen: I haven't, I usually listen to my body and my intution, I also ran 75km and didn't prepare anything, and now for 112km, I coached myself

Trail coach: If you had an intensive training itinerary to prepare for this 112km run, I would undertand the feelings of having to continue. In this case, If you haven't completed the last kilometers of it, to be safe, is it worth it? to be able to participate in another, long-term game...?

I agree, you listen to your body, but do you also know that this trail running sport is classified as an risky sport? 75km or 80km may be ok, if you are in good physical condition and often exercise; But when it comes to 100km or more, running through the night, you will need to prepare more carefully. If you don't have a coach, you will have to research it carefully, especially the safety aspect. I think that because trail running is like a Master's or Doctoral program, you also need to appreciate and prepare for it in a worthy way, instead of treating it like one class session.

Jen: I'm stubborn, and rely on my regular exercise and my mental fitness... I've never had a sprain even though I'm stubborn, in all of my other risky sports...

Coach: So today can be a lesson for you to work more effectively, sometimes we not only listen to our body mind – our inside, we can take advantage of the outside, to even support the inside better, right?

THANK YOU FOR the GIFT wrapped under my injury: PERSPECTIVE FOR me to see the ineffective side of determination, perseverance, persistence, and not giving up. On the one hand, it helped me connect and firmly believe in my intuition and my body; and in all things I have done. On the other hand, it is not effective when I use it to challenging the rules of society or the universe. It rooted when I was a child I was often told I couldn't do this or that. I have created my own mechanism to always do the opposite to challege the outside world.

Because there is no harmony, I have used challenging the outside world, with rules or things that can help my self-understanding and self-listening become more effective.

Reflecting on today's injury, I observed that the moment it happened was when I had to speed up to get to one check point; even though before that I was very slow and relaxed and didn't focus on my steps when running. That state of mind of mine has, to a certain extent, caused me to receive experiences on the physical body.

I also realized that stopping and not running is much more challenging for me; because I'm afraid of being judged, most importantly, my ego that never gives up doesn't want that. That's why I feel like I need to do what I'm afraid of.

What do you feel about your story? Would you keep running if it were you?

Can you see the blind spots in your choices or beliefs or habits?

An open, honest dialogue with yourself, or with someone positive, who wishes you well; can help you gain more perspective!