The power of being sweet and short:
Today we will talk about serious topic: leadership/
What do you have in mind? Have you ever thought even thing can lead?
The image of dragon has led my life with the idea of life will be amazing with different difficulties, I will overcome it and make it happen. Each person will be inspired by different things and people.
Choose one topic or thing to describe.
Comment: make it short, choose the topic and choose people!
Not your show but people's show.
It was dark and quite. I was standing outside my house, at 11pm - the time people often saw ghosts - in a village in Vietnam, my hometown. I could feel my heart pounding. My mum punished me because I did not do my homework. Most kids did not.
Can you imagine how that made me feel as a 5 years old kid??
None of these feelings.But STUBBORN.
I decided to be STUBBORN.Take ownership of my life. Never let my family worried about me anymore.
The STUBBORNNESS was made inside, then outside. I would argue with everyone to be right. If I could not, I kept silent as a SIGN for people to keep silent too.
*Leave her alone. The most stubborn kid.* People gave me that title.
As I grew up, I saw people around me work hard. No matter how hard they work, life was still a STRUGGLE. I had a desire to make a difference people's lives. I did not know HOW but I knew one thing - I was STUBBORN in it.
I decided to study engineering to have chances of going abroad. I told a friend of my fathers, a respectful man about my desire.
'Do not be stubborn anymore, kid. Get a decent job. Stay at home. Get married. Have a bus load of kids.'
Ah ha, I heart the little voice inside me agreed with the man, saying 'STOP'.
But my STUBBORNNESS shouting inside me 'Don't stop. Just do it'
I did it. I became an engineer. I went to work in different countries and had a chance to train new staffs in Vietnam. I also set up an English community in Vietnam. (I know, I am not a native speaker).
People called me - nonstop speaking - and I loved inspiring people.
Ah ha ...................I found my PASSION to achieve my desire - speaking to empowering people.
I quite my engineering job. I left Vietnam. I went to Spain. I went back to Vietnam. I left Vietnam again. I went to Malaysia. I went back to Vietnam. I decided to come here, the UK.
'What are you doing? We don't get it.' My family questioned me.
My answer: 'I am working on my PASSION'.
They looked even more confused: 'Is your passion going to pay your bills? Be realistic.Don't be stubborn anymore. Just settle down.'
My sister even cried "Don't make me worried about you. I cannot sleep because of you. You want me to die. Can you just STOP.'
The most important people in my life - my family - didn't support me. 'Have you ever felt that before? Your loved ones are disappointed about you. Worried about you. Even worse, you are disappointed about yourself.' I felt lost, confused, doubtful, guilt, bitter. I dreamed about my childhood - when my family saved me from kidnapping and drowning in a river. - I woke up in panic, scary, crying. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
*************DO IT. STOP MAKING THAT BEAUTIFUL EXCUSE. *******************My stubbornness shouted - breaking my little voice.
Ah ha..........I felt relieved. All were excuses. I decided to just leave and one day my family would understand me.
Before I got on the plane. I called my family. Guess what??They smiled as they knew before:
'You are stubborn. Just do it. Remember, we always love you and proud of you. Love you'.
Ah....Ha....At that moment........I realized ..all my family wanted was to see me happy not stopping doing my passion--- the person wanted me to STOP doing my passion, was ME - THE LITTLE VOICE INSIDE ME- THE DOUBT -THE FEAR. IT vanished at the moment I took action. Stubbornly Nonstop.
Yes, I am here my friends because of my stubbornness of taking action. Don't stop. And I will continue being stubborn.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a desire, stop making excuses, decide to just do it. Decide inside first. Anytime you here little voice, from your friends, your family and inside you telling you to stop; remember this: say AH HA and DO IT anyway.
Be stubborn in taking action. just do it. When you do it, the little voice will be SILENT.
Imagine, you walked by this room. G was speaking. You stayed, engaged forgetting you were in a hurry. I went home and still thinking about his message - Believe then you will achieve.
That what I loved about G speech - great impression + engagement + and powerful messages
+ G came here -drawing attention of the audience by the crying sentences of R - .....
+ G provoked our curiosity - what's next
+ G aroused our emotions by developing his speech from his childhood to current life - struggling with limiting beliefs and feeling relieved by empowering believe - when we believe we achieve
+ G engaged us by pauses STOP by eyes contacts and repetition- to go to people's heart and then plant the idea he wanted to convey: you become what you believe
*I was thinking How could I suggest the perfect speech, maybe make it less perfect by making it more dramatic, emotional, and struggled.
Maybe G would have used a leveraging technique -After R said , he could have said - Yes you are stupid - we as audiences would think - how would he say it to his daughter - G would strategically explain it - that what i told myself when i was a kid
I was waiting for more emotion when G breaking the limiting beliefs pattern - G would have said - u r stupid. You - not G anymore but the stupidness.
I also waiting to see not only G relieved but R relieved .........G would have put on the shoulder of R and gently looked at her with a strong belief in her - R u r what you believe . I believe in u.
I believe more in myself today with a powerful speech of G. My takeaway is believe in ourself to make other believe in themselves.
Are you STUBBORN?
- Developing the emotions: from FUNNY > BITTER > RELIEVED > DETERMINED
- Funny in the part of not doing home work, stubborn kid, a bus load of kids, leaving Vietnam and going back to Vietnam, realization of excuses, continue taking action.
- The beginning not so connected??
- More vocab?
- Less details?
SMALL STEPS AND MOVE FORWARD
16 March, we learned different lessons. BELIEVE SMALL STEPS KEEP GOING. One speaker taught us to believe in ourselves. Another taught us to take small step and try it anyway. Another speaker showed us his perseverance. We also had a wonderful speaker who shared 'Tackle the hardest part first'.
I found another lesson for not only my speech but in doing projects in my life. CUT what does not add value. One experience speaker used to write down his speech and turned 3 sentences to 3 words while remaining same message.
I reflected back the time I could cut 4000 words essay to 2000 words essay; 5000 words to 2500 words. I never did it with my speech?
From speech to life?
Does this ADD value to my life?
Ask this question and only keep the things having the ABSOLUTE yes.
Suggestions for the WOW speech:
1. What words add value to the speech?
2. What action do you want audience to take?
3. What emotion do you want audience to feel?
5. Title 'wow'
6. Touching no??
What is the meaning of that shouting, WOW
You may think it is so loud
Or you may think it is weird
That what I do every morning when I wake up. My housemate was wondering ‘what is going on? R u ok?”
‘Yes, I am. Very much. I just consciously wake up myself, consciously feeling alive’ I was excited to explain.
That conscious shouting comes from a subconscious memory when I was a kid……….., 3 years old.
More than 20 years ago, back to a small village in northern of Vietnam, my hometown. It was a sunny beautiful day, the day my parents were in the hospital, my brother went for fishing, I stayed at home with my 7 years old sister.
We played around the garden – we laughed, we shouted –wow wow wow…we chased each other while laughing……….
Suddenly, ‘ou ou ou…………..’ the dog barked.
There was a lady in the age of 30s entered my house with a small bicycle. My sister and I ran over to see her.
The lady looked at my sister and gently said ‘Hi. I am you mother’s sister, your mother wants to see you little sister so I am going to take her with me.”
My 7 years old sister had no idea who was the lady, as she continued ‘And my bicycle is broken so I am going to take your family’s bicycle.”
As she said, she grabbed the bicycle, lifted me up on the bike and drove away, leaving my sister behind with confusion ‘ WHAT IS HAPPENING?”
I was, on the other hand, so excited because I thought about going to see my parents who were away from home for a week.
While I was still thinking about seeing my parents, I heart a familiar sound ‘Jen, stay with me.”
Some seconds later, the person stopped in front of me and the lady. While still breathing, he said ‘My sister wont go anywhere. My parents told me to take care of her.”
As he said, he grabbed me and held me tightly then ran back home.
I didn’t know what happening. Why my brother didn’t want me to see my parents. Why did his heart pump so quickly. Why did run so quickly.
I only consciously got to know the feeling until I got to 5 years old when my brother saved me from drowning in a river, he held me tightly and ran back home.
I knew it was a terrifying feeling, the feeling of almost losing his loved one.
Nobody knew who was the lady but everyone believed she was a kidnapper. At that time, lots of children in my province were kidnapped to sell to China.
I was almost kidnapped
I am still here. I am very much alive.
I had to shout again after telling the story to my housemate because he was also shocked as some of you may feel now.
But look, I am here. Very alive.
I always look back that subconscious experience as a conscious reminder for me to feel alive every moment.
The meaning I consciously gave to that experience is GRATITUDE. I always made a joke with my brother that if I would have been kidnapped, I would have become a successful businesswoman then went back to look for mum and dad. My family always told me it was the most silly joke that they could have been heart. Deep down in me, was a grateful feeling. Grateful to have the second chance to be my family’s daughter. Grateful to live everyday with the gratitude of being alive.
we cannot change the past but we can decide WHAT MEANING to give into the past TO take action upon it in the present moment.
We CANNOT CHANGE THE SUBCONSCIOUS MEMEORY BUT we can CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE WHICH MEANING TO GIVE INTO THAT MEMORY.
BEING GRATEFUL MOMENT. WAKE UP EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND KNOWING THAT WE ARE STILL ALIVE. WE ARE IN THE HERE AND THE NOW, FULLY PRESENT. SHOUTING ‘WOW WOW …OR JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES TO FEEL ALIVE…..
CONSCIOUSLY REMIND OURSELVES HOW GRATEFUL TO JUST BE ALIVE.
BEING THANKFUL FOR BEING HERE TO LISTEN TO ALL TOASTMASTERS’ INSPIRING STORIES. OUR CHOICE TO GIVE WHAT MEANING TO TAKE AWAY TO THEN TAKE ACTION UPON IT.
LET’S HAVE A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE. RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND, PUT IT ON YOUR HEART, FEELING IT PUMPING. FEELING YOU R ALIVE.
USE YOUR LEFT HAND TO TOUCH THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU AND SAY, THANKS FOR BEING HERE, TOASTMASTERS………………….
WOW, THAT IS THE MEANING OF THE ‘WOW’
10 March - Go with the flow- ICE evaluation - Story table topic
"Have you ever thought about what does it mean 'Go with the flow"?
I often hear people say that and wondering what is that."
It is the opening of a prepared speech of one of our speakers on 10th March.
The objectives of the speech:
- Choose a great outline that is easy for people to follow
- Develop the ideas with supporting materials
- Strong conclusion and impressive opening
What we can learn from his speech:
- Great title that aligned with the objective of the speech and create the curiosity of people
- Structure; theory then application with examples
- Empowering message: stand on your own truth
Recommendation for organised speeches:
- I: Impression
Create a impressive introduction to draw attention of audience
- C: Clarity
Clarify what is your idea? What is your message?
- E: Engagement
Eyes contact or hand gestures
Recommendation for table topic style: tell a story and ask people to answer following the event in the story
Simple Rules for a Complex World
After you stepping on stage, you know how to organise your speech, now you learn HOW TO SAY IT.
Speeches which use simple, conversational language are more enjoyable to listen to, easier to follow, and more likely to be remembered.
The aims for this speech project focus on your selection of words and phrases:
- Choose words and grammar which communicate clearly.
- Choose words and grammar which appeal to the senses.
- Eliminate jargon.
How to do it?
- Vivid descriptions or story: to transport the audiences from their seats to your speech settings
- Use sensory languages: draw upon all 7 senses to create a completely immersive description
- Sight (VISUAL SYSTEM): the dizzying special effects of the martial arts scene (what we see)
- shapes, colours, letters, words, and numbers
- nonverbal communication: body language, interactions with audience, eyes contacts
- Smell: the wafting aroma of buttered popcorn
- Sound (AUDITORY SYSTEM): the booming surround-sound effects which made you jump from your seat (to identify the quality, and direction of sound to identify the importance of the sounds)
- Taste: the sweet licorice Twizzlers which melt in your mouth
- Touch: the claustrophobic squeeze of your knees pressed into the seatback in front of you (the awareness of touch through receptors in the skin)
- level 1: the touch
- level 2: the label of the touch
- Body awareness (proprioception system): Kinesthetic System, joints enabling the brain to know where each part of the body is and how it is moving.
Proprioception is the sense of the relative position of neighbouring parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement. This sense is very important as it lets us know exactly where our body parts are, how we are positioned in space and to plan our movements. Examples of our proprioception in practice include being able to clap our hands together with our eyes closed, write with a pencil and apply with correct pressure, and navigate through a narrow space.
The vestibular system explains the perception of our body in relation to gravity, movement and balance. The vestibular system measures acceleration, g-force, body movements and head position. Examples of the vestibular system in practice include knowing that you are moving when you are in an elevator, knowing whether you are lying down or sat up, and being able to walk along a balance beam.
- Sight (VISUAL SYSTEM): the dizzying special effects of the martial arts scene (what we see)
- Repetition wisely used to make the speech memorable
- ending the speech with a strong conclusion - via a phrase
Topics which allow to make the best use of words.
Today I got a great recommendation from an expert - a public speaking friend- reminding me to CUT what no longer serves my speech anymore. Choose Useful Things.
It is what we can do for our audience to make sure they get Useful things we need to Choose Useful Thoughts/Things.
Let's do it every moment of life.
Story about KINDNESS
Once upon a time, there was a couple who could not have any child even they were more than 50 years old. The husband passed away, the wife - named Kindness - lived alone. Day to day she went to work in the field by herself till late. One day, she was so thirsty and she drunk water from a coconut skull.
She came home, got pregnant and gave a birth to a meat roll later on. The head of the village wanted her to give up the meat roll which was considered as an alien. She was really sad and about to throw it away, it insisted ' Mum, I am a human not alien. Do not through me away'.
Kindness felt touched and kept the meat roll - named him - coconut skull as a reminder from the incident in the field.
Day by day, anytime the lady went to the field, coconut skills would turn to become a boy and did all the housework. He came inside the coconut skull when she came back home.
One day, the head of the village criticized coconut skull - you are useless, cannot help your mum to take care of buffalo. Coconut skull told her mum to ask the head of the village - UGLY- to let him take care of the buffalo group.
UGLY really happy to see coconut skull do great job but not eating much. His daughter felt in love with him.
As time went by, one day Coconut skull asked his mother to go to UGLY's house to propose to one of his daughters. His mother felt shocked but as Skull insisted, she went to ugly's house. Ugly laughed and told her, if she could prepare 100kg gold to give him, he would say yes.
She came home and told Skull to forget about it. Skull told Kindness to not worry, he would sorted out everything.
The mum woke up the next day and found herself sleeping in a luxury bed. And she saw 100kg gold in front of her. She and Skull went to Ugly's house, he was shocked again and could not believe. He had to keep his promise even he was really angry.
Skull and Beauty happily lived together, he studied hard and went to work for the king. He went to the capital to meet the king. He gave beauty a stone and a knife and asked her to bring it with her as he was not nearby her.
Beauty sisters jealous with Beauty and wanted to kill her to get him. They trapped her and pushed her into the river, Beauty got eaten by a big sharp. She took the knife that Skull gave her and escape from the sharp. She arrived to an island and used the stone to make fire and hope someone could see her and escape her. Skull came back from his mission and heard the story of Beauty accident, he went to find her. He got her back and they lived together forever. Beauty sisters disappear because of shameless.
KINDNESS +BEAUTY represent for doing right things and you and others may get good things
We went to a bar to have our public speaking. Some people left during the break?
What I learned:
- Through out the theme
- Get people know each others
- Appreciate others by telling their stories
What can be done differently:
- Calm down
- Just let people see the core value
- Great session of interviewing about what happened before
- Avoid chaostics
Toastmaster of the day should control that.
Make your evaluations 'sock'
One of the district champions in the UK in evaluation contest. He gave us a 4 principles to make anyone can become a winner.
Knowing your style and from there you can strengthen and improve your style.
How to define your style: analytical or emotional or depth or breadth
Organizing your speech to let people follow easier: using the principle 3 points. Most people find it easy to remember three points.
Connecting with the audience with eyes contact and asking questions.
Demonstrating your ideas with hand gesture. Not only making people hearing it but seeing it.
And keep in mind, you are learning from the speaker and going to give back to make your friend (the speaker) better their speech.
My evaluation of the speech:
WHY: to make everyone better elevator
WHAT: 4 principles to achieve the purpose
HOW: use the 4 key points
I suggested the areas for improvement: using pause to hang the audience, balancing the 4 points, having an powerful wrap up for each part
My evaluation was also evaluated:
- Slow down to let people digest what you say (think from audience's mind, not your only your mind; make sure the speeds of your mind and audience mind are same)
- Organizing in a clear structure to make people follow easier
- Dont repeat the point and the content because audience know the content, instead analysing deeper how the speech is delivered